I Sell The Dead

Synopsis: 18th century justice catches up with a pair of grave robbers. With only a few hours to go before his date with the guillotine, Arthur Blake tells his life story to Father Francis Duffy. Before long, Arthur spills the beans on how he got started in the grim corpse peddling business with seasoned ghoul Willie Grimes.
Genre: Comedy, Horror
Director(s): Glenn McQuaid
Production: IFC Films
  1 win & 5 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
85 min

Willie Grimes reprimanded

and ready for the...

Go on, get out of it.

I thought I'd remain sober for the day.

Oh, that's sharp.

That's a very close shave, indeed.

I've changed my mind.

I'll be off, then.

I've an appointment

with Oswald Mitchells.

I've changed my mind.

Little buggers.

You bastards.

Serve that blade up, mate.

I don't think it's quite my size.

It's a little tight around the neck.

Lop his bleedin' head off.

I'll see you in hell, you bollocks.

F*ck you, Grimes.

As for you.

In the basket.

In the basket.


Thank God.


I didn't do anything.

Get me out of this thing.

Mr. Blake.

Mr. Arthur Blake.


Body snatching.


It is my duty to write, for

the purpose of announcement

and later for printing,

your final words.

Eh, so that others drawn

to the wayside may, uh...

take heed in your cries of

guilt and pleas for forgiveness.

It is also my duty to inform you

that you are to be

executed by way of, uh...


For a lifetime spent in

the despicable pursuit

of grave robbing and murder...

Well, all this really means

is that you're a dead man,

and I'm here to make you say sorry.

You'd be after my

gallows speech, then.

By hook or by crook.

Did you get a speech

out of old Willie

before they chopped off his head?

It would have been nice to

have a chat with your friend,

maybe extrapolate a

story or two from him,

but, well, sadly, that was not to be.

Do you have anything to say

for yourself before they, uh...

Well, I suppose you

wouldn't believe me

if I told you I was innocent.


Of murder, that is.

The despicable grave robbing

part sounds about right.

Well, that's a new one.

Why don't I have a chat

with the executioner

and may... maybe get you a pardon, like?

All I know is this.

I woke up in the morning,

the coppers were at my door.

And get this.

They followed a fresh

trail of body parts

that led all the way from

the station to my house.

As if I'd be that stupid.

The same thing happened to Willie.

Fresh trail of body

parts that led all the way

from the station to his doorstep.

And then they called us murderers.


We were set up.

Not a murderer, then.


- Grave robber?

- Yep.

Bloody good one too.

Would you mind shining a light

on what it was that

made you so exceptional?

I'm not sure I want to

go down that road, Father.

You know, when I look

back on it now, it seems...

Well, I'm not sure you

would believe a word of it.

Besides, I have a terrible memory.

Eh, you'd be surprised what a

man of the cloth might believe.

You think this might

help with your memory?

It... it might.

Here's to the late, great Willie Grimes.

Oh, you'll be seeing him

very soon, Mr. Blake, very soon.

Aye, that I will.

I suppose we have some

time to kill, Father?

Eh, Francis Duffy.

Father Francis Duffy.

And you have exactly five hours to kill.

I'll tell you what, Father.

You keep this whiskey here flowing,

we'll have ourselves a little chat.

Well, that's a fair trade then.

So tell me,

how did you start out

in your life of crime?

Well, I suppose I'd

have to go back a bit,

back to when I first met Willie.

Willie got me into the trade.

I was his apprentice.

You see, it was body

snatching or the streets for me

and my ma, my little brother.

Are you frightened?

Of course you is.

I remember the first job I pulled.

Nearly shit myself, didn't I?

With me old man it was.

Miserable bastard.

So what brought you down

to the Fortune of War, then?

My mom told me to go

there and talk to Ronnie.

When I got there, he gave me an ale

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Glenn McQuaid

Glenn McQuaid (born 1972/1973) is an Irish film director. He is known for his feature film debut I Sell The Dead and his involvement in the audio play anthology series Tales From Beyond the Pale, both of which were produced by frequent collaborator Larry Fessenden's Glass Eye Pix. He has also directed a segment of anthology horror film V/H/S. more…

All Glenn McQuaid scripts | Glenn McQuaid Scripts

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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