I Love You, Alice B. Toklas!

Synopsis: Peter Sellers stars as Harold Fine, a self-described square--a 35-year-old Los Angeles Lawyer who is not looking forward to middle age and his upcoming wedding. His life changes, however, when he falls in love with Nancy, a free-spirited, innocent, and beautiful young hippie. After Harold and his family enjoy some of her "groovy" brownies, he decides to "drop out" with her and become a hippie too. But can he return to his old life when he discovers that the hippie lifestyle is just a little too independent and irresponsible for his tastes?
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): Hy Averback
  Nominated for 1 Golden Globe. Another 4 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
92 min

Flower in the crannied wall

I pluck you out of the crannies

I hold you here, root and all, in my hand

Little flower...

But if I could understand

What you are, root and all, and all in all

I should know what God and man is.

- Beautiful. Is that Ginsberg?

- No, Tennyson.

But if I could understand

What you are, root and all, and all in all

I should know what God and man is.

So to know God, to know man...

...you first have to know

what a flower is.

A flower.

But how can you know

what a flower is...

...unless you know who you are?

Who are you?

Do you know who you are?

We must find a way...

...to send our love messages

to them...

...before it's too late.

We must turn them on to love.

Send them love flowers.

Turn them into love junkies.

We must hug and kiss them

in the streets...

... in their houses, in their offices,

in their minds.


Do you know

what happened this time?

- What?

- The earth moved for me.

Like in Hemingway.

Did the earth move for you?

No, I don't think so.

I didn't satisfy you?

Of course you satisfied me.

It was just that the earth

didn't move this time, that's all.

But it has moved in the past?

Oh, Joyce, you know,

many times, many times.

- When?

- Well...

You know, a couple

of weeks ago, it moved.

We must psychedelicize

their impoverished dreams.

Teach them how to live again.

Make them stop playing

the ego game.

Teach them how to die

so that they can be born again.

So that they can become

a flower again.


Is your asthma bothering you?

I have a little tickle right now, yeah.


- Do you wanna get married or not?

- Sure.

Well, then let's name a date.

I gave you an area.

An area is certainly not a date.

I know what an area is,

and I know what a date is...

...and an area is not a date.

- All right.

- I'll tell you something.

You've given me

enough areas in my life...

...but I have yet

to get a date from you.

I know from areas,

but what I want is a date.

Okay, when do you wanna

get married?

How about Thanksgiving?

Hey, look at that.

- What is that?

- Somebody...

Whose car is that?

I'm pinned in here. I can't get out.

Oh, my goodness.

Who would do a dumb thing like that?

- Well, that's stupid.

- Terrible.

You could maybe try to get out,

do you think, Harold?

- Harold?

- Help me back up.

- Sure, I will, darling.

- Because I'll never make it.

You know, Harold, my parents

were married on Thanksgiving.

I thought maybe

it would make them happy...

...if we had the same anniversary.

Go right, Harold. Try to go right.

- Yeah, okay.

- Turn to the right.

- Gee, I don't think you're gonna make it.

- I'll try.

- Well, try. Yes.

- Well, I can get right up close to it.

All right, keep going to the right.

- What?

- Harold, come on, now.

You're gonna hit that car.

Where is that son of a b*tch?

Look at that. I'm pinned in.

Harold, what about Thanksgiving?

- For what?

- For what? For our wedding.

Can you imagine somebody...

...leaving a car like that

in a situation like this?

Boy, that is really smart.

Boy, that is really a clever way

to change the subject.

Don't be paranoid, Joyce.

I didn't make this situation.

Are you crazy or something?

Take me home.

- Oh, that's great. That's great.

- What?

I'm pinned in. I can't move.

Take her home. Where are you?

Harold, you could move

if you wanted to move...

...because man is the master

of his own existence.

You're afraid.

You are afraid to move, Harold.

Now, look, Harold.

Harold, I have made

my commitment to you.

I have given you my mind...

...and my body.

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)

Paul Mazursky

Irwin Lawrence "Paul" Mazursky (April 25, 1930 – June 30, 2014) was an American film director, screenwriter, and actor. Known for his dramatic comedies that often dealt with modern social issues, he was nominated for five Academy Awards: three times for Best Original Screenplay, once for Best Adapted Screenplay, and once for Best Picture for An Unmarried Woman (1978). Other films written and directed by Mazursky include Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice (1969), Blume in Love (1973), Harry and Tonto (1974), Moscow on the Hudson (1984), and Down and Out in Beverly Hills (1986). more…

All Paul Mazursky scripts | Paul Mazursky Scripts

(0 fans)

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:



    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)


    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:


    "I Love You, Alice B. Toklas!" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2022. Web. 27 Sep. 2022. <https://www.scripts.com/script/i_love_you,_alice_b._toklas!_10503>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    Watch the movie trailer

    I Love You, Alice B. Toklas!

    The Marketplace:

    Sell your Script !

    Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!

    Browse Scripts.com

    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.