I Do (But I Don't)

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Feast your eyes on a familiar setting:

The bride's room.

Recognize the usual suspects?

The attentive bridesmaids...

...the relieved mother of the bride,

the radiant bride and the flower girl...

...who dreams of the day when

she'll be holding the bouquet.

Then there's me. Who is this mystery

woman with a cushion full of pins?

I'm Lauren Crandell,

and I'm a junior wedding consultant...

... "junior" meaning that my boss

barks the orders while I do the work.

I'm a seamstress, a gofer, an assistant....

You name it. Whatever it takes...

...to make sure that everything

will be perfect on that big day.

And although you might not believe me,

everything typically does work out.

Well, most of the time.

-Are you okay?

-Yes.

Oh, no.

Weddings, by their very nature,

are fraught with peril.

That's why you need me.

On your big day, it's my job

to take care of anything that goes wrong.

I worry for you. I troubleshoot,

problem-solve...

...and on occasion, work miracles.

Okay, your turn. Don't forget to smile.

-You look so beautiful.

-Thank you.

All right. Dad?

Having helped to plan

in excess of 100 weddings...

...I've come to realize that

there are unspoken rules...

...that every wedding consultant

should know.

Rule number one:
Do the work

and never take the credit.

Let the bride and groom

feel responsible for their perfect day.

Helping them achieve their dream

makes it all worthwhile.

Hello? Oh, hi, yeah.

I called about booking a band

on October 10.

The bride and groom

would love someone...

...who could do both rock and polka.

Can you hang on one second? Okay.

Hello, Tying the Knot.

Oh, hi, Barbara.

Gosh, I'm so sorry

that you got in a fight...

...with your maid of honor.

But your wedding isn't until 2007.

So I'm sure you guys will

make up by then.

-Here you go, miss.

-I don't think you need a backup.

No. Okay, I'm gonna call you

as soon as I can.

All right. Thanks. Bye-bye.

Hi. Okay. Sorry about that.

Where were we?

Lauren, get in here.

Actually, I'm sorry to do this.

I have to call you back.

Alrighty. Bye-bye. Yes?

You're never gonna believe

what happened.

-What?

-We just landed Darla Tedanski's wedding.

Who's Darla Tedanski?

The Sausage King's daughter.

-That's great.

-No, it's not great.

It's monumental. It's gonna be

the most high-profile wedding in Chicago.

Do you know what that means?

Long workdays

and virtually no sleep?

It means a guaranteed cover story

in Bride's Day. Imagine the publicity.

Anyway, don't think I forgot about you.

If everything goes off without a hitch,

you'll get that promotion we talked about.

-Are you serious?

-Dead serious.

Lauren Crandell, senior consultant.

Your own accounts, your own assistant...

...and, of course, a raise.

I don't know what to say.

Don't say anything.

That interviewer will be here

in 10 minutes. You need to prepare.

-I'm on it.

-Bride's Day is my favorite magazine.

Especially when I'm profiled in it.

Oh, careful, dear. That china

is worth more than your salary.

Cranberry scone? I made them myself.

Didn't Mommy, Snickers?

You run a business and find time

to bake. I don't know how you do it.

-I do.

-What was that, dear?

Nothing, G.

I was thinking out loud...

...about the flowers

for the Hanscum wedding.

What's there to think about?

The bride wants gardenias.

But gardenias are out of season.

We could ship from California,

but then we'd go over budget.

I think lilies are a nice alternative.

-Are you a consultant too?

-Junior consultant.

She a little does planning here and there...

...but it wouldn't be a Gennifer Douglas

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