
I Do... Until I Don't
"For life."
No one wants anything
"for life."
It just reminds us
of our impending death.
I pledge allegiance...
The etymology of the word
"betroth" comes from
the word "pledge."
Americans pledge allegiance
a myriad of times
during their life
and then proceed
out the car window.
"Betroth" is a word
from the 1500s.
I mean, the bloody ming dynasty
was still around.
Our problem is,
we live too long.
I mean,
if we were all dying at 45,
then fine, yeah, of course.
Go get yourself
betrothed.
But now we insist on doing
pilates colonic retreats
and vitamin drips,
convicting ourselves
to a dreadfully long existence
with one partner
for half a bloody century.
What do we do,
collectively as a species?
Die younger or,
a far less painful fate,
rethink the system.
I choose life.
I hate that he died.
They were kind of
a cute couple.
Yeah.
You know?
At least one of them
got out of it alive.
Shh.
Thank you, Janet.
Who was that?
And now Hamish's
first and second wives
will read the lyrics
to "come away with me"
by Norah Jones.
Excuse me.
So, what is the point?
Children? Sure.
We marry to procreate.
are the very reason
for your marriage's demise.
Money? Of course.
It's cheaper
to conjoin funds,
tax breaks.
Yet still, finances
are the number-one culprit
for severed vows.
Cruel business.
What else then?
Definitely not the sex.
Companionship?
Boredom? Religion?
And then there's love.
We marry for love?
Don't be daft.
Love is not sustainable.
Nor is marriage.
Oh. Mel.
Somebody over there.
Hi.
Hello.
Um, I have two questions,
uh, for you.
Um--
speak up a little.
why did you choose
vero beach, uh,
to make your project?
Um, and "b" is, uh, I loved
your film tween jungle so much,
and I just, uh, admire that you
dedicated your life to the arts.
Both great questions.
Thank you.
Uh, why vero?
Well, my new project
will delve into
the social theorems
presented to amend
the architecture
of marriage,
that it should be
a seven-year contract
with an option to renew,
and that's what I'm gonna be
concentrating on
here in Florida,
the divorce capital
of America.
So, you proud inhabitants
of this swinging state,
I am going to get down
on one knee and propose,
will you accept
that marriage is dead?
I'm not actually going
to get down on one knee.
That was a sort of metaphor.
Oh, Noah, how can you
not remember?
It was the woman,
Vivian prudeck.
She's the one who did
that amazing documentary,
tween jungle.
And there was that one scene
with all those baboons
dancing all angsty
to nirvana.
Guess who jumped ship,
by the way?
Moses wolper,
my own goddamn godfather,
prefers crappy prefab bullshit
from rightnowblinds.Com.
Anyway,
it's just incredible--
unbelievable.
That she's coming
to vero.
Where's the loyalty?
You should've seen her speech.
She was so riveting.
Really. She commanded
this whole audience.
She was funny
and charismatic.
She's looking for couples
for her new--
I'm sorry. Who's doing what?
You are not serious, are you?
You're not listening to me
at all, are you?
Oh, dear.
But at least we get
ruining the goddamn carpet.
Why don't we just call
the sorensen's kid
to fix the roof?
We can't do that.
Why not?
He was 13
when he drove the lawn mower
into the river.
No, I forgave him for that.
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"I Do... Until I Don't" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 11 Dec. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/i_do..._until_i_don%27t_10476>.