I Am Not a Hipster

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(Clearing throat)

How's it going?

I, uhh...

I can't believe

you guys showed up

considering how much

of an a**hole I am.

Uhh, I want to thank Joel

and Darla for helping me out,

and Tim for letting me play.

So, feels like

it's been a while.

I hope I don't screw this up.

Feed me, make yourself proud

Fill my mouth up

until I drown

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh

You pulled me onto dry land

Shoved me out with the same

two hands, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Ah, ah, ah, ah

Ah, ah, ah, ah

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

We dive in, never come back

And each of us has to

learn from scratch

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

F***!

Uhh...

I think Tim might have given me

one too many whiskey shots.

I think I might have to

go gag myself in the bathroom.

WOMAN:

Woo!

Uhh...

Yeah, just give me a second.

Sorry.

Just a second.

Screw around for a little bit.

(Retching)

(Spitting)

(Groaning)

(Speaking Japanese)

Oh!

(Phone ringing)

WOMAN:

Brook?

Are you there?

Pick up the phone.

I hope you know we're staying

with you for three days.

We're excited to see you.

WOMAN 2:

Tell him I say hi.

WOMAN:

Mez says hi.

Umm, sorry, I didn't want to

leave this on your machine.

But I don't know, I just don't

want you to be surprised.

Dad's coming so...

Just... Will you call me

if you get this? I love you.

Okay, bye.

(Phone ringing)

What's up, Clarke?

You answered the phone!

What's up, man?

It's me, Clarke.

I know.

Hi, man.

Well, I just wanted to, uhh...

to let you know that,

today, I woke up.

And I felt very inspired

and motivated to, like,

push our career

into, like,

another level, dude.

It's going to be awesome, man.

Umm, anyways, so I wanted to

go over some bullet points

for today's radio interview,

dude.

Oh, sh*t, that's today?

Yeah.

You know I hate doing

this kind of stuff.

I really don't see the point.

Well, as your manager,

I think you should really

take advantage of

this opportunity, dude.

Clarke.

Yeah?

I don't need a manager, man.

Oh.

I'll just work on some stuff.

And then I'll meet you there.

Oh my God,

thank you so much, Brook.

It's going to be awesome,

I'm telling you.

All right, okay. So, I'll see

you there, all right?

Okay, cool. Umm, so I'll see

you at the radio interview.

And just call me

if you can't make it

'cause this guy's really,

really looking forward

to meeting you. And that's it.

And I know I'm talking a lot.

Sorry, Brook.

That's okay.

Okay, man. Umm...

I'll see you later.

I love you.

(Beeping)

Oh

Ah

Shivering

I am looking in at

People that I

call my friends

Just a silhouette

With a cigarette

No idea who I am

There was soul in these eyes

But now they're gone,

if only I

Held a light in

Ah

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Flashing teeth

They are smiling so

Happy to burn their time

And I don't know when

But I lost the will

to save her mind

Ah!

Hey, fuckhead! What's this?

A f***ing bike lane, isn't it?

Have you got

a f***ing green light?

Have you got a green light, man?

Oh, look, it's still here,

still... Oh, ho!

See? That was, like, 35 seconds.

So, did you listen to

that new Paper Ted album

I sent you this morning?

Nope.

You got to check

your email more.

This guy is blowing my mind.

He's, like, New Wave-ish,

kind of like the Nimbles

in the early '90s.

And this guy has a Master's

in Electrical Engineering

or something like that.

He makes his own sounds, like...

(Beatboxing)

It's sick.

I can't even explain it.

Look, I really got to piss.

How much time do I have?

Five minutes.

All right.

Hey, I was going to ask you,

think you could perform at

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