
Hurricane Bianca: From Russia with Hate
- Year:
- 2018
- 85 min
- 110 Views
1
[wolf howling]
(distant voices)
Deb or Deborah, never Debbie.
Leave the faggy ties
at home, okay?
I'm fuckin' this cat.
You just hold the legs.
Got it?
See you never, flame sauce.
[snoring]
She put the MILF
in Milford High.
Now, she's behind bars!
Debbie Ward, a former
Texas Teacher of the Year...
...tried to rig
last year's contest
Ow! Shit!
Yeah, she kidnapped
her daughter's main rival,
a Miss Bianca del Rio,
who I was shocked
to find out was a dude.
She basically
got our teacher fired
for just being gay!
That's when the notorious
New York homosexual
returned to Milford High as
Now she don't even
look like a woman!
What kind of unnatural woman?!
He's biting me!
(Reporter) A snake attack
at a local high school.
Did her breast implants
save her life?
[screaming]
Then Miss del Rio
got her revenge,
and it was so good.
This is not true!
This is a conspiracy!
exposed as
the infamous Miss First.
Taker of underaged
male virginities.
Okay, you don't have to push me.
That tampering Texas temptress,
Debbie Ward,
maintains her innocence.
And to this day insists that
Bianca del Rio, not she...
...is the one who should be
locked up in the County Jail.
Lock her up!
Lock her up!
Rise and shine, bitch!
[gasps]
What are you doin' here?
You wanted me punished?
Well, here I am.
Who'd have thought
they'd make us cellmates.
isn't it?
This can't be happenin'.
We're gonna eat together.
We're gonna sleep
in the same cell.
We're gonna watch
each other on the toilet.
Help! Someone get me
out of here!
We're gonna be together
a long time, you and I.
No hard feelings, Debbie.
I might even
give you a makeover.
You'd look really pretty bald.
[chuckles]
Now, make sure
no one's coming,
cause I've got to take
a huge dump,
and boy is it is gonna stink!
[screaming loudly]
Bianca!
One more night terror
for the road, I guess.
Lucky you.
Now get up.
Time for your release.
Take a seat.
We just have some forms
for you to fill out and, uh,
a little somethin' special
before you go.
I just want to thank you.
This whole experience has
been a revelation for me.
I'm a new woman.
Sure you are.
You know I was worried that
bein' in solitary for so long
that you might have missed out
on some of the pleasures
that prison life has to offer.
Oh, but I didn't.
with the cockroaches
crawling around my ears,
I didn't think
I was gonna make it.
But then, I saw him.
Saw who?
My Lord and Savior,
Jesus Christ.
I smashed a cockroach up against
the wall with my bare hands
and there he was
in the goo, the face of Jesus!
And right then,
I knew I was born again.
Again.
Okay, I don't think
that's a thing.
Oh, it is.
the toilet just to be sure.
And now that I'm gettin' out,
I'm gonna do the work
God intended me to do.
Charity shit or somethin'?
I'm gonna kill Bianca del Rio!
Excuse me?
With kindness.
I'm gonna kill her
with Christian kindness.
That's one crazy bitch.
She can't even spell.
Look at this shit.
[thunder rumbling]
Watch out, Bianca del Rio.
[smacks lips]
I'm comin' for ya!
Isn't anyone gonna pick me up?
Ow! No!
[maniacal laughter]
[school bell ringing]
No, no, Melanie.
I'm pretty sure
that the Earth is round.
- Hey, Mr. Martinez?
- Uh, yeah.
Can you tell me
about Sputnik again?
Oh, look at you,
taking interest in class.
Isn't Sputnik
Russian for potato?
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"Hurricane Bianca: From Russia with Hate" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 18 Jan. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/hurricane_bianca:_from_russia_with_hate_10406>.