How To Lose Friends & Alienate People

Synopsis: Sidney Young is a disillusioned intellectual who both adores and despises the world of celebrity, fame and glamor. His alternative magazine, "Post Modern Review", pokes fun at the media obsessed stars and bucks trends, and so when Young is offered a job at the diametrically opposed conservative New York based "Sharps" magazine it's something of a shock! It seems "Sharps" editor Clayton Harding is amused by Young's disruption of a post-BAFTA party with a pig posing as Babe. Thus begins Sidney's descent into success - his gradual move from derided outsider to confidante of starlet Sophie Maes. Initially helping him out at Sharps is colleague Alison Olsen, who has her own secret. Wither their friendship?
Director(s): Robert B. Weide
Production: MGM
Rotten Tomatoes:
110 min

: TheGhost ::..

Supposing Queen Elizabeth had been

misguided enough to marry an English Commoner.


I'm sorry Ms. Fox, I didn't quite hear.

Obviously you're immersed in problems of far

greater significant than Elizabeth's foreign policy.

When I was a kid, I used to think

there was a special place where

All the movie stars lived

A kind of Shangri La.

And if you could just get inside there,

You'd be happy.


All these years later,

I'm finally inside.

I've made it... to Shangri La.

My name is Sidney Young.

I am a celebrity correspondent.

A journalist, a friend to the stars.

Yeah... that... that isn't me.

This is me.

At the Apollo Film Awards

in L.A., this year.

That's my Armani tuxedo.

That's an Omega Speed Master Pro

watch I'm wearing.

That's the actress, Sophie Maes.

Last night she told me she'd let

me have sex with her if she won...

the best actress award.

Oh!... She just won the Best Actress Award

My life didn't used to be like this.

Only a year ago, my alternative magazine,

"The Post Modern Review", was on the ropes.

I needed a big celebrity scoop to save

me from bankruptcy and humiliation.

But there was just one problem.

To cross the thin red line

that separates the Lookie Loo's from the stars,

You had to be famous.


Babe 3 yeah..

But it hasn't got any ID...

How many pigs are coming tonight?

You want me to leave him with you?

No, no, no, you can not leave him here...

If you're positive you're supposed to...

Well, well... Sidney Young.

Well, well, clipboard Nazi type woman.

The pig doesn't get in.

What about me?

I was talking about you.

Plan B:
If you cannot crash

the awards ceremonies

You had to get in to one

of the after show parties.

Of these, the most exclusive,

was the Sharp's Magazine party.

Hosted by legendary editor

Clayton Harding.

Here the A-list could finally relax.

Safe in the knowledge that no Lookie Loo

would book a room in one of

London's most expensive hotels

just to be close to them.

OK Kevin, I want you in bed

by 10 o'clock, OK?

And no porn.

When I'm in L.A. I like to stay

at the Chateau, where else...

And then when I'm in London I also

like to stay here at the Haymarket.

It's got to the point where I don't

feel at home unless I'm in a hotel.

Do you know what I mean?

What is it you do?

I'm a writer, I'm a movie writer.




Is everything all right?

You have the most amazing cheekbones.

Have you had plastic surgery?

No, and you?

Me? No..

Penis reduction when I was a kid...

- You are too much!

- I am, aren't I?

What's your name again?

Clark, Clark Baxter.

How do you do?

Your... little... moustache...

Oh shit!

Sara, get security.

Sidney Young got in.

Who's Sidney Young?

Oh f*ck!

Plan C:
keep a low profile and leave

as unobtrusively as possible.

Can you get that?

Can you get the phone please?

The post modern review with an English

celebrity is a text to be deconstructed...

No we don't hate celebrities..

.. I am an internationally respected academic.

And prick.

You answer the phone,

What do I pay you for?

You don't pay me.

Answer the phone.

Hello, Post Modern Review.

If she doesn't apologize, I'm quitting.

You're going to have to apologize,

okay, George can't leave.

Why can't George leave?

Because he owns the Fax machine, that's why.


It's Sharp's magazine.

We're finished.

We're not finished.

If they sue we're finished...

It's going to be OK,

give me the phone...

Be quiet.

Sidney Young.

This is Clayton Harding,

editor of Sharp's Magazine.

Ah, Lord Vader.

I saw you at my party. Just before you

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Peter Straughan

Peter Straughan (born 1968) is a playwright and author, based in the north-east of England. He was writer-in-residence at Newcastle's Live Theatre Company. Whilst there, Live staged his plays, Bones and Noir. Both of these plays have displayed Straughan's talent for writing dark, twisted and witty stories. His first ambition was to be a professional musician and he achieved this while playing bass guitar with Newcastle-based band "The Honest Johns". He spent four years touring and recording with the band through the late 1980s and into the early 1990s before leaving to take up full-time education at Newcastle University. While Peter was a student he was also a member of the band Cactusman. Peter wrote the song "Killer", which appeared on the CD album North of London, a collection of music by North East bands released through Newcastle Arts. Straughan co-wrote the 2006 feature film, Mrs Ratcliffe's Revolution and adapted Toby Young's memoir How to Lose Friends & Alienate People. He is the writer of the 2009 film, The Men Who Stare at Goats, and co-writer of the 2011 film Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, for which he was nominated for the Academy Award for Adapted Screenplay, a screenplay he wrote in collaboration with his late wife Bridget O'Connor. O'Connor died of cancer, aged 49, in 2010, before the film was released. They were awarded a BAFTA for Best Adapted Screenplay. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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