How Much Does the Trojan Horse Weigh?

Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Juliusz Machulski
Production: Monolith Films
  2 wins & 1 nomination.
117 min

present, co-funded by

the Polish Institute of Film Art,

a Juliusz Machulski film




Passenger Zosia Radecka...

- Where's Ticket Office 10?

- Ticket-Sales Point 3.

Repeat Passenger Radecka, age 40...

It's me.

- Excuse me?

- They're paging my name.

Age 40?

- Excuse me?

- Are you 40?

- None of your business.

- Today's your birthday!

A surprise for you

on behalf of the airport.

Blow them out, please.

You kidding?

May she live

to be a hundred...

Costume Designer




Edited by

Production Managers


Executive Producer

Florka? Kuba!


Director of Photography


To be quite blunt?

It's no good.

I can't take it any more.

We must change the bedroom

or move out altogether.

May she live

to be a hundred...

We made a deal:

not this birthday!

- Mom...

- Thank you.


No need to make breakfast.

- Well then...

- What?

- Is it different?

- From what?

- Yesterday.

- No, it's not.

But let's not talk

about it, please.

Not about my age.

When I was your age, today's seemed ancient.

- And it's not?

No. Every day in every way

mom's getting better and better.

When I turned 20, I promised myself

to go to Paris on this birthday,

and jump off the Eiffel Tower.

But then I jump after you,

and take you to the restaurant

on the top floor.

- That's where James Bond landed?

- Exactly.

And what's its name?

- Jules Verne.

- Jules Verne.

- You couldn't've managed.

- Me?

You have to book a table

there half a year earlier.

I know the matre d'.

He'd squeeze us in.

- What's his name?

- Jules Verne.

You local idiot,

the local moron said,

would you like to see

a blockbuster with me?

The local cretin replied,

With pleasure,

since I'm in love with

you in some measure.

- I can't stand it. Stop or I'll puke.

- You hate the poet Tuwim.

Dad, how much did

the Trojan horse weigh?

- Empty or with the crew inside?

- Oh, gosh...

That's what we need.

Gerberas? I never like

them or trucks either.

It's no truck

but a Hummer.


I got to hang up.

I'm happy to have found you.

Zosia, many happy

returns of the day.

What a murderous memory?

I wish you... since

you've found happiness...

...good health,

which guarantees everything.

- Thank you.

- Here you are.

Hi, Kuba!

How pale you are.

You should go out

and get suntanned.

- Sure. Hi, Darek.

- Hi, Dad.

A bit in a hurry...

Thanks for the flowers.

You shouldn't have bothered

so early in the morn.

I've just come to take her.

Where's hello to Daddy?

Grandma's dying to see you.

You'll even stay overnight.

Can't Grandma put that off?

I can't tomorrow -

going hunting.

I put the hunt off especially

to give you best wishes.

How lucky I am.


You can always call

me to make a date.

A permission for an audience.

I misbehaved as usual.

I'll drive with Dad,

but you'll collect me, yes?


- And I'll tell him...

- No. It's not the right time.

By the way can I take

the antlers back?

Great. They're ready.

I'll fetch them.

- Well, how's school?

- It's holidays.

Got good grades? The 5th grade

is no piece of cake.

- I'm in the 6th.

- How time flies...


- Zosia, how about a comeback?

- Excuse me?

We make such a beautiful family.

Would you like Dad to remarry Mom?

- Mom's has a husband already.

- You've made a nest in my house.

Excuse me?

A nest in your house?

- Kuba and I paid you off long ago.

- Yes, you did to build a nest.

Thanks. They're changing

the mains. High time.

- So... let's go.

- Good bye.

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Juliusz Machulski

Juliusz Machulski (born 10 March 1955 in Olsztyn) is a Polish film director and screenplay writer. Son of noted actor Jan Machulski, Juliusz became notable for his comedies ridiculing the life in communist-ruled Poland of the 1970s and 1980s. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "How Much Does the Trojan Horse Weigh?" STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Web. 7 Jun 2023. <>.

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