Hotel Transylvania

Synopsis: In 1895, Dracula builds a resort in Transylvania, hidden from the humans, to raise his beloved daughter Mavis in a safe environment. In the present, the place is the Hotel Transylvania, where monsters bring their families to vacation far from the frightening humans. Dracula invites his friends - Frankenstein and his wife Eunice; Wayne and Wanda, the werewolves; Griffin, the invisible man; Murray, the mummy; Bigfoot, among others - to celebrate the 118th birthday of Mavis. When the party is ready to start, the 21-year-old Jonathan is walking through the forest and stumbles upon the hotel. Dracula sees Jonathan and disguises him as a monster to hide Jonathan from the guests. But Mavis also sees Jonathan and Dracula forces him to pose as a monster. Soon Mavis believes that Jonathan is the "zing" of her life despite the advice of her father about humans.
Director(s): Genndy Tartakovsky
Production: Sony Pictures
  Nominated for 1 Golden Globe. Another 2 wins & 14 nominations.
 
IMDB:
7.1
Metacritic:
47
Rotten Tomatoes:
44%
PG
Year:
2012
91 min
$148,280,635
Website
14,580 Views


1

Peek-a-boo!

No, no, no, no, no.

l didn't mean to startle you, my little baby.

Hush, little vampire, don't say a word

Papa's gonna bite the head off a bird

l vant to kiss your tush.

l vant to kiss your tush!

Nice, but maybe a little more square footage.

l want a lot of monsters here.

l'm gonna get you, little Mavis.

l'm gonna get you!

What out there?

We never go out there.

Ever.

"And then the monsters ran away

and were forced into hiding.

"But Harry the Human found them

and jumped out from under their bed."

-l'm scared!

-"And burned their clothes

"and bit their toes!

"And took their candy!"

Don't take my candy.

Babyclaws, you don't need to be frightened.

l promised your mommy

l would protect you forever.

My beautiful May-vay

Let me wipe all your poop away

Those humans are nas-tay

So with Daddy you wiII stay

And if a human tries to harm you

l'll simply say...

Because you're Daddy's girl

Daddy's girl

l'm your Vlad-y daddy...

Just bend the legs and push off.

Trust me, mouse.

l can fly! l can fly!

Look at you!

Faster, baby! Faster!

You got it, my little voodoo doll!

Excuse me, sir.

What? What?

l'm okay.

lt's ready.

Looks good.

Only monsters can get in?

Absolutely.

lt's hidden real nicely.

You got 400 acres

of haunted forest in front of you.

You got the Land of the Undead

on the perimeters.

Any humans daring to even look over there

will run away real quick.

But, of course, be smart.

No bonfires, no firework shows.

Yeah, yeah, no, no. No fire, l get it, l get it.

lt's time, my darling Martha.

The place we always talked about for Mavis.

No one will ever harm her here.

Yeah, it's a mess back there.

Welcome to Hotel Transylvania!

Human-free since 1 898.

Your safest destination.

Take an itinerary.

l have personally designed

a spectacular schedule of events,

all leading to my daughter's

birthday extravaganza tomorrow.

We always look forward

to coming every year, Count.

We enjoy the safety so much.

Of course. That's why we built it.

Yes, good evening.

Thank you, Marty.

You look pale, as well.

Sir, sir, sir!

We have an urgent plumbing issue.

Plumbing? On it.

Mr. Ghouligan!

There is a clogged toilet in room 348.

lt's okay.

We all get stomach aches, Mr. Bigfoot.

Hey, kids, reel it in.

You're only supposed to make

Mom and Dad miserable.

Now, now, is that any way to behave?

This is a hotel, not a cemetery.

Sorry, Uncle Drac.

Drac! How are ya?

Wayne, my old friend!

Couldn't wait for this weekend.

Always great to be out of

the shadows for a couple days.

The family looks beautiful.

Let me just clean up their filth.

Housekeeping!

Frankie, my boy! Look at you!

Still traveling by mail, Mr. Cheapo, huh?

lt's not a money thing.

l have a plane phobia, okay?

l mean, at any moment,

those engines could catch...

Fire! Yeah, yeah.

"Fire bad."

We know.

Augustus, Porridge Head, come on!

Does that look like Frankenstein's head?

Hey, Drac, buddy, what's

going on with your cape there?

What do you mean?

Who pinched me?

Guilty. You're irresistible.

Yes, very amusing, lnvisible Man.

Hello. Great to "see" you.

Never gets old.

Missed me.

Missed me, missed me, missed me.

Okay, you win. Hold this bacon.

Why am l holding bacon...

No! Get 'em off!

Here comes the party!

Hello, Murray!

Drac, what's up, buddy?

The sand, Murray, the sand!

Always with the sand.

Wolfie! Wanda! Frank!

l love this guy.

He always bringing it full tilt.

You're looking skinny, too.

Now that you're just a head.

Okay, you'll pay for that.

So what's up, Drac?

The hotel is looking off the hook.

Hey, guys, watch this.

By the way, you were right

about those directions.

Oh, good, good.

Yeah, l took the Tigris

through the Nile, and there

was absolutely no traffic.

You're kidding me.

Right in my lobby?

Drac, l swear, man, l don't run like that.

Housekeeping!

l was not the cause of that.

We're ready!

lf only Martha were here to see this.

She's always here, Wanda.

Okay, friends,

l am so glad you are here to celebrate.

Another birthday for my sweet little Mavis,

and another successful year

of refuge from them!

These are recent human images

our surveillance has uncovered.

They are getting fatter so as to overpower us.

And they are wearing less clothing,

allowing more movement to strangle us

or cut open our heads and put candy in them.

But they will never

find us here.

Evil villain, you will never win!

Okie doke. The fun starts in 30 minutes.

Right now, l have to see my little girl.

She's not so little anymore!

Yes, she is!

What's going on out there?

Are we at the hotel?

Frank, did you book us

for a tandem massage?

Did you get us a table at Hunchback's?

Did you do anything?

You're welcome.

What's going on?

Dad, you said that

when l turned 1 1 8,

l could go out into the world

like every other adult that gets

to come and go from this hotel.

"But, Mavey Wavey, it's not safe.

Bleh, bleh-bleh."

Dad, 30 years ago, you promised.

l remember, we were both eating mice,

and you specifically said

that you gave me your word.

Do not disturb.

-Do not disturb.

-Do not disturb.

Do not disturb.

-Do not disturb.

-Do not disturb.

-Do not disturb.

-Good morning, Your Eminence.

Maid, clean up this room!

lt's you. Glad you could make it.

-ls she up yet?

-She's up.

She's ready to go. And by "go," l mean go.

As in, go check the world out.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote

Peter Baynham

Peter Baynham (born 28 June 1963) is a Welsh comedian, screenwriter, and performer. Baynham often collaborates with Armando Iannucci, Chris Morris and Steve Coogan and has worked with Stewart Lee and Richard Herring. He was first heard on Morris's early radio DJ slots, often reporting from outside the studio. Other works include the "comic book in radio format" series The Harpoon, and animated sitcom I Am Not an Animal. He has appeared on the stand-up circuit as Mr Buckstead, the psychotic poet, and played the "Too Gorgeous" man in a series of mid-1990s Pot Noodle adverts, a campaign he co-wrote with Iannucci, and the role of Peter in the TV series Fist of Fun with Lee and Herring. In 2006 Baynham co-wrote the film Borat together with star Sacha Baron Cohen, Anthony Hines and Dan Mazer, for which they received a 2007 Oscar nomination for Best Adapted Screenplay. Baynham graduated from Fleetwood nautical college, and served in the Merchant Navy in his teenage years. He is licensed to pilot a supertanker. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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