Honey, I Shrunk the Kids

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Good morning, Quark.

I couldn't believe it. Lisa told

Janet that Paul asked Barbara...

to ask me if I had

a date to the dance.

No, they broke up for

religious differences.

She thought she was God

and he disagreed.

Yeah, this afternoon around 5:00.

I'm meeting him at the mall.

I don't know.

Maybe. Yeah.

Oh, I can't. I've got to hang around

a while and keep an eye on Nick.

He likes to take things apart.

Well, that's why I watch it at your

house. Things'll cool off after today.

Dad has his big

show-and-tell at the lab.

Zap!

- It works! L-It really works!

- Nick, get real.

The subject has disappeared.

No, no, it's not that.

No. Mom and Dad had

an argument last night...

and Mom spent the night

at Grandma's.

I think she just needed a rest.

Right, her and me both.

Yeah, okay. Okay. Bye.

Amy, when's Mom coming home?

She's working, Nick.

She'll be home this afternoon.

If only Dad could get

that machine to work.

Breakfast.

I need a couple minutes here.

"I'll be down in five minutes."

Typing with his gloves on again.

Oh, no, not again!

Who does he think he is,

Mister Wizard?

Szalinski, give it a rest!

It's Saturday!

It's construction, honey. You of

all people should understand that.

Yeah, but I want some sleep.

We've got a four-hour drive ahead of us.

And I think he should have

consideration for other people.

Mm, give the guy a break.

I'll give him a break.

I'll break his arm!

Honey!

Szalinski!

But, honey, you are

much bigger than he is.

Szalinski!

- Honey, can't...

- Hold it, Dad.

- Don't move.

- Ron, what are you doing?

- Defending the backyard, Dad.

- That's my fishing rod!

Stop! Dad!

- Am I bleeding?

- Honey, it's rubber.

- Dad, I told you not to move.

- What's on this thing?

- Super Glue.

- Super Glue?

- Gotta mark those trespassers, Dad.

- I'm not a trespasser. I'm your father!

- Let me wash it off quick, hon.

- Ah, it's taking the skin off.

- I'll talk to you later.

- What's with this kid?

- He's 12.

- Attila the Hun was

12 once, too, you know.

- Oh, come on.

He's sounding.

Weird family.

Dad?

Look, I finished mine.

Looks just like yours, huh?

- That's great, Nick.

- You know, Dad, I was calculating.

- If you took all the

molecules in this house...

- Listen, Nick, I gotta get

this working before I leave.

Why don't you go help your sister?

Stay back, boy.

This thing works...

this'll put us up there with

the invention of electricity...

first man in space.

First dog in space.

Come on! Shrink!

Shrink!

Please, please, shrink.

Please, shrink.

On the other hand, we've come up with an

interesting way of making applesauce.

- You got it, honey.

- Sure?

- Positive.

You're wiping away brain cells,

and there aren't many to spare.

- Everybody in my family's a comedian.

- Everybody except you.

Darn right.

Well, look who's decided to

join the land of the living.

And is Russell ready

for his big fishing trip?

- Not really, Dad.

- Not really?

There's a big fish out there

with your name on it.

Fishing's your thing,

Dad, not mine.

What's the matter with him?

What do you mean, shush?

There... I see nothing wrong

with wanting to take my son fishing.

Russell, I shouldn't be telling

you this, but he was cut from

the football team yesterday.

- What?

- Honey, please. What he doesn't

need right now is to hear from you.

- He needs something.

When I was his age, I was capt...

- Captain of the team.

And if my father'd wanted me to go on

a fishing trip, I would've been gra...

You'd been grateful.

Russ, he is too small for football.

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