Hit and Run

Synopsis: HIT AND RUN is a comedy about a young couple ('Kristen Bell' and 'Dax Shepard') that risks it all when they leave their small town life and embark on a road trip that may lead them towards the opportunity of a lifetime. Their fast-paced road trip grows awkwardly complicated and hilarious when they are chased by a friend from the past ('Bradley Cooper'), a federal marshal ('Tom Arnold') and a band of misfits.
Production: Open Road Films
  1 win.
Rotten Tomatoes:
100 min

You're not

concentrating. I can tell.

You're thinking

about e-mails or text

messages or handbags.

You don't know that.

You don't know what

I'm thinking about.


Okay, I might not

know the specifics

but I know it's some

kind of useless racket

that's keeping you

from concentrating.

I could be

thinking about

the cure for cancer.

In fact,

I may have

just cracked it.

And now you're trying

to get me to erase it

from my hard drive.

You couldn't

cure a UTI

if you owned

a cranberry farm.


Hey! I have never had

an infected urinary tract.

Oh, really?

No, I have not.

And you've never

had HPV either?


All right.

No human papillomavirus?

Watch your mouth!


Watch your mouth.

I smack too.

I was vaccinated.

I was vaccinated.

'Cause, unlike you,

I was born after

the polio vaccine.

What are you talking about?

I am five years

older than you.

How do I know that?

I see no

documentation of that.

For all I know you're 45.

Listen to me!

I am 35 years old. Okay?

You're 45! You're gray!

Ow! Ow! Ow!

Buddy, don't grab my hair.

It's thin.

I don't like when

you pull my hair.

Then let go of my wrist.


On three.

Truce? Okay.

Three, two, one.

One, two, three.

Okay. Don't grab my

hair again, okay?

Okay. Well, then

don't hold me down.

It makes me self-conscious.

That's my only way

to defend myself.

I'm being serious though.

Will you please concentrate?



That's it.

Take three deep breaths.


This is the only moment

you need to be worried about.

There's no yesterday.

There's no tomorrow.

There's just right now.

You're not

late for anything.

And you're not

gonna miss anything.

You're exactly where

you're supposed to be.

And you're exactly who

you're supposed to be.

You're absolutely perfect.

And whatever happens today

is exactly what's

supposed to happen.

And if you want

I'll spend

every moment with you

for the rest of your life.

Okay, I want.

You're gonna have

a wonderful day today.

You don't have to be

nervous about anything.

Okay, I'm not.

You promise?

Yeah. Thanks, buddy.

You're so

terrible on the eyes.

I don't know why

I share a bed with you!

You're disgusting!

That's a lot!

That's a lot of space.

Forget it. I've got a friend.

Hey, you!

Is Charlie awake yet?

'Cause I've got to

pick him up. We've got

a meeting in town.

I thought I'd

swing by and grab him.

Yeah, he's inside.


You doing all right?


Yeah, good!

Are you okay, Randy?

No. No. Why?

Why? What's wrong?

You're just a little sweaty.

But it's not a big deal.

Okay, well, I'm sorry.

That happens.

I hate it.

You don't need to apologize.



Bye, Randy.

You too!

Yes. I'll do that. I'll...

Someone's calling.

Hold on, hold on.

Just a second.

God damn it!

Son of a b*tch.

Damn it!

Damn it!

Oh, sh*t! F***!

Hey. Hey. No!

F***! No! No!

Oh! Oh! No! Kids!


Oh, God!


What the f***!


Oh, no! Kids!




When I tell you

to stay in park

you f***ing stay in park!

You stay in park

or I will break you!

Hear me?


What are you doing?

What the f*** are

you doing, Randy?


What do you mean nothing?

I look out my window

and you're

ghost riding your van

in the backyard, man!

You're blasting

holes in everything!

Shut the f*** up, Charlie!

Shut the f*** up!

I'm sorry, ma'am.

Wait! Let me get

my badge! Don't worry!

No! Don't go anywhere!

I got my badge!

This car is malfunctioning!


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Dax Shepard

Daximus ‘Dax’ Randall Shepard (born January 2, 1975) is an American actor, writer and director. He is best known for his work in the feature films Without a Paddle (2004), Zathura: A Space Adventure (2005), Employee of the Month (2006), Idiocracy (2006), Let's Go to Prison (2006), Hit and Run (2012), and CHiPs (2017), the last pair of which he also wrote and directed, and the MTV practical joke reality series Punk'd (2003). He portrayed Crosby Braverman in the NBC comedy-drama series Parenthood from 2010 to 2015. more…

All Dax Shepard scripts | Dax Shepard Scripts

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Hit and Run" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Web. 8 Dec. 2023. <https://www.scripts.com/script/hit_and_run_10013>.

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