High Society

ARMSTRONG:

End of song, beginning of story.

Man, dig that crazy rehearsal hall.

BANDMEMBER:

What a powerful pile of rock.

I can't go in there.

ARMSTRONG:

Why can't you go in there?

BANDMEMBER:

I ain't got my library card.

ARMSTRONG:

Dig you.

BUTLER:

Are you the musicians?

ARMSTRONG:

That's what the man said.

BUTLER:

What name shall I say?

ARMSTRONG:

Tell Dex old Satchelmouth.

BUTLER:

Will you please follow me,

Mr. Satchelmouth?

ARMSTRONG:

Wipe your feet, boys. Something

tells me we've got a long walk ahead.

BING:

Hey, pops! How's the chops?

ARMSTRONG:

Good to see you, boy!

BING:

Hey, fellas!

How's everything?

You've been all over

Europe since I saw you.

Go to Sweden?

ARMSTRONG:

Yes.

BING:

Skol.

ARMSTRONG:

I was the skol-est cat ever.

BING:

I bet you were. Here it is, fellas.

Just lay it out here.

ARMSTRONG:

I never thought you lived

in a big house.

BING:

Shows what happens when your

grandfather's a robber baron.

ARMSTRONG:

You can play football in here.

BING:

But can you rehearse?

ARMSTRONG:

Is the chandelier tied tight?

BING:

If it swings, put a mute in your horn.

BUTLER:

Pardon me.

The ladies are waiting in the library.

BING:

Vamp a little, will you?

ARMSTRONG:

Okay, Dex.

BING:

All right.

-

Ladies?

RUTH:

Dexter.

BING:

Hello, Ruth.

RUTH:

Thanks for letting the

musicians rehearse here.

BING:

Tickled to death.

RUTH:

You saved the festival.

BING:

As long as I can save you.

Hello, Helen.

HELEN:

Save us?

BING:

You know you might lose

your billing in the blue book?

Jazz is considered very unchic.

RUTH:

Oh, I'm sure we'll love it.

HELEN:

Let us know if we can help.

BING:

I will. Thanks a lot for coming by.

RUTH:

Thank you.

HELEN:

We'll keep in touch.

BING:

You bet. Bye.

RUTH:

Bye.

-

BING:

Hello?

CAROLINE:

Hello, Dexter?

This is Caroline.

BING:

Hello, beautiful.

CAROLINE:

Any time now.

-

CAROLINE:

Where's Tracy?

I've been yelling for her.

MOTHER:

You don't yell, Caroline.

You call a person.

You yell if you're in pain.

CAROLINE:

Well, this wedding gives me a pain.

I think Tracy was awful

mean to divorce Dexter.

Can I have this?

MOTHER:

Oh, and take those presents

over to the other table.

CAROLINE:

Mother, Tracy's sort of hard, isn't she?

Not hard. None of my children are

that, I hope. The goblets too.

Tracy's just exceptionally

strong-minded.

And very wonderful always.

CAROLINE:

I wish something would

happen around here.

Nothing definitely ever happens here.

TRACY:

Out of the way, angel.

You'll get stepped on.

So far, I've received 24 nut dishes

and 16 silver ice picks.

CAROLINE:

That should give you an idea of what

people think of your next husband.

TRACY:

Mother, don't you think Caroline's old

enough to go to a good military school?

CAROLINE:

What's this?

MOTHER:

I haven't the faintest idea.

CAROLINE:

It stinks.

MOTHER:

Don't say stinks, darling.

If absolutely necessary, "smells,"

but only if absolutely necessary.

TRACY:

If you put this picture in my

wedding presents once more

I'm going to personally

chain you to your bed.

MOTHER:

Why, what is it, dear?

He was handsome.

CAROLINE:

Don't talk of him as if he were dead.

TRACY:

Well, he is dead to me.

And if that picture turns up once more,

It's going right in the ashcan.

Well, look at this.

CAROLINE:

Wow. Jewels.

TRACY:

From Father.

MOTHER:

Isn't it pretty?

TRACY:

His girlfriend probably turned it down.

MOTHER:

That's not fair to your father.

TRACY:

How can you defend him?

A common chorus girl.

MOTHER:

She's not a chorus girl.

She's quite a talented ballet dancer.

CAROLINE:

Isn't it stinking of Tracy

not to invite Father to the wedding?

MOTHER:

Yes, Caroline. Just between us,

it's good and stinking.

CAROLINE:

Me too.

TRACY:

Oh, darling, why don't you

face facts squarely as I did?

MOTHER:

We might face the fact that neither

of us has been a great success as a wife.

TRACY:

We both took the only stand a woman

could take and keep her self-respect.

MOTHER:

Yes, dear.

TRACY:

The Hammonds.

MOTHER:

And now I have my self-respect

and no husband.

TRACY:

Oh, we're both better off. Believe me.

MOTHER:

Yes, dear.

TRACY:

And we're both happier.

MOTHER:

Yes, dear.

TRACY:

Oh, isn't George an angel?

MOTHER:

Yes, George is an angel.

TRACY:

Now, is he handsome, or is he not?

MOTHER:

George is handsome.

TRACY:

Golly Moses, I'm a lucky girl.

CAROLINE:

Tracy, that's your song.

Dexter must be home.

TRACY:

Mother, has Dexter come back?

MITHER:

Well, we knew Dexter was giving

his house over to this festival.

I suppose he might have come back.

TRACY:

He's back. No one but Dexter

would play that song.

That wretched, cheap, vulgar song.

CAROLINE:

That beautiful, wonderful song

he wrote especially for her.

That's gratitude.

-

ARMSTRONG:

He's gonna get nowhere

with that kind of music.

Good for the feet,

nothing for the heart.

BING:

Hello, Sam.

TRACY:

I'd like to talk to you privately.

BING:

Well, now, I consider that

right neighborly.

You lost a little weight,

haven't you, Sam?

Oh, no, you're slipping.

That used to scare me.

The withering glance of the goddess.

TRACY:

I just want to know what you are

doing here the day before my wedding.

BING:

Business. I've become a

distinguished composer --

TRACY:

Oh, distinguished.

BING:

They needed help here,

so I heeded the call of duty.

TRACY:

Don't pretend with me, Dexter.

You deliberately planned this

Festival to conflict with my wedding.

It's a shabby, vindictive gesture.

BING:

Harsh words. Well, let's be honest.

I'll admit it. I'm still in love with you.

I don't want you to get married.

You can still be a wonderful woman.

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