Hickey
- Year:
- 2016
- 85 min
- 44 Views
- Boo!
- Carly!
What are you doing here?
Are you a fan of Euclid?
Was Pythagoras into triangles?
Okay.
Um...
Uh.
What are you...
Damn it, Hercules.
Leave! Go, go, go, go.
Yup, that's my family, or was.
If all the world's a stage,
then my mom's the star.
Look, I know she means well,
I just wish her spotlight
- How did you do that?
- You're welcome.
I did not know
how to turn that on.
- Turn the knob, mom.
- Yeah, okay.
I thought you were gonna
Oh, yeah.
I'll get to it soon.
No big deal.
- Okay.
- Wait!
- Where you going?
- I'm late.
I made homemade jam.
CY Epstein here, owner of CY's.
Home of the greatest selection
of new and used car stereos
and old audio equipment
in all of Southern California.
From speakers to nad, Bluetooth
and even musical equipment.
If you can't find it at CY's,
you can't find it.
our Venice location.
Home of the one and only
consignment mountain.
Wow, I might be
the first guy in history
to ever stay home
for a not-girlfriend.
That's really...
That's really funny.
Jeremy, my best friend,
we met in fourth grade,
I was the brains
and he was the distribution.
We made $11 cash.
Is it the sex thing?
'Cause it's so not a big deal.
- Girls like virgins.
- Clearly.
I can only help so much.
Whatever your problem is, you're
behaving like a real vagina.
And how is that?
By giving birth?
Creating a pathway
for menstrual blood
of just self cleansing?
Vaginas are cool.
Oh, right, Carly.
She's smart, funny,
and a great musician,
even if she doesn't always
believe in herself.
that she's really pretty,
so, that too, I guess.
When your mom turns 40,
do you think you'll have
to stop jerking off to her?
You know that line
we talked about?
That's crossing it.
Good morning, teach.
Hey, morning, Ryan.
You know, black viper has 25...
350 watts, four to 3,000 hertz.
Mr. Ramsdell, my favorite
teacher of all time.
He's been here all summer
checking out the black viper,
late-life crisis, or something.
That's correct.
- Orientation's next week, right?
- Yes.
You're gonna love
Boston in the fall.
Jeannie went to grad school
there after we got married.
Did I mention that to you?
You did.
You did.
Okay.
Good talk.
Good talk.
Derek.
Until he came along
in ninth grade,
I was the undisputed heavy
weight champion of the nerds.
I kind of told him
that if I went to UCLA
we could be roommates.
I thought he wasn't listening.
He was.
Hickey!
Oh, Derek, what the hell!
- What are you doing?
- Gettin' my blade on, roomie.
By the time school starts,
I'm gonna be a master.
You're not really going
to m.I.T, are you?
You'd better tell me now,
or I'm gonna get totally hosed
on the roommate sitch, dude.
Please.
Do not f me, Ryan.
I will not f you, Derek.
I just want five bucks.
- Thank you.
- All right.
- Go!
- Hey.
- Good morning, Ryan.
- Hey, Gary, hey.
That's Gary, my boss.
He can fix toasters.
Not sure why, but he can.
4,589
divided by 16.
Henry, our security guard.
He was a champion prize fighter,
but a bad blow to the eye
sent him into early retirement.
He's been working
at the store for 30 years,
which is pretty much
the definition of bad luck.
Uh, 286.81.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Good morning, honey.
Ellen, she scares
the f*** out of me.
She wants to be a vet, I think,
but I wouldn't let her
anywhere near animals.
Or people.
I'd give you a hand job
with my eyes open
if it meant you never
speak to me again.
Throw in a warm moist towel,
and you've got a deal.
Okay, I'm done talking now.
You'll figure out who everyone else is.
I promise.
Wow, you really brought
your a-game today.
I'm not gonna lie,
it does feel good.
You've been practicing.
Oh, my god,
you have been practicing!
What, did you, like,
buy a book or something?
- You did!
- Oh, no. Oh, no.
- Oh, okay.
- Hi.
That is fantastic.
Hey, keep playing, Ryan.
We're dancing over here.
You know, he bought a book?
- Did he?
- Yeah.
He's getting so good.
Did you teach him?
Thanks... thanks
for lunch, mom.
Oh, have fun.
See you tonight.
- Bye.
- Bye Mrs. chess.
Oh, it's snusz now.
and then when I come back
he'll probably have
forgotten this, right?
- Unlikely.
- That's what I thought.
Don't forget your lunch.
Thanks, mom.
Why do they call him the hawk?
The dude is magic
with the ladies.
Met a girl at
a bachelorette party,
they ended up dating
for six months.
So?
The girl was the bachelorette.
Huh.
"Sale psych 101"?
- Did you read this?
- Carly did.
She swears by it.
Brady gave it to her
as a love present.
Girls like Carly don't get
with guys like Brady.
with a guy like Brady.
They can't help themselves.
It's the flight
or f*** response.
Isn't that right, sweetie?
Uh...
Thought I got something...
Thank you.
- Good friend, Jeremy.
- I know.
- Good friend.
- I know.
This program sucks!
Hi.
Thanks.
Oh. Sorry.
- I never get these.
- Huh?
I never get these.
It must be a lucky day for you.
You never know.
Can't be!
Brady, yes,
I received the package.
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"Hickey" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/hickey_9926>.
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