Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man

Synopsis: The tough biker Harley and his no less tough cowboy friend Marlboro learn that an old friend of theirs will lose his bar, because a bank wants to build a new complex there and demands 2.5 million dollars for a new contract in advance. Harley and Marlboro decide to help him by robbing the corrupt bank. They rob the Bank transport and get hold of an amount of a new synthetic drug. Now they are targeted by criminal bankers.
Genre: Action, Crime, Drama
Director(s): Simon Wincer
Production: MGM
  1 nomination.
Rotten Tomatoes:
98 min

Whoo, yeah! Whoo!

Well, that's about it.

That's about it for this Independence

Day as the clock rocks 12:00,

ladies and gentlemen, on July 5th, 1996.

And you know, fellow Americans,

we are now 220 years old.

We've just about, of course,

wiped out the ozone layer.

Uh-huh, we live under

a continual first-stage smog alert,

and there's a brand-new drug...

I don't know if you heard this by now.

Check this out. You ready for this?

There's a new drug out there

for the kids of America

to bury themselves with.

It's called Crystal Dream.

Can you believe it?

Now listen to this.

You don't drink it. You don't smoke it.

You don't snort it.

And you don't shoot it.

What do you do? I know you're asking.

What do you do with this thing?

Well, what you do

is you put it in your eyes,

and apparently it tells you lies,

all right?

I'll tell you, all this decadence, and we

still haven't nuked ourselves outta here.

It's amazing.

With a little luck

and a whole lot of hope,

I think maybe the human race might live

to see another 220 years.

And with that in mind...

happy birthday, America!

It's all the same

Only the names will change

Every day

It seems we're wasting away

Another place

Where the faces are so cold

I'd drive all night

Just to get back home

I'm a cowboy

On a steel horse I ride

I'm wanted

Dead or alive

I'm wanted

Dead or alive

Sometimes I sleep

Sometimes it's not for days

The people I meet

Always go their separate ways

Sometimes you tell the day

By the bottle that you drink

And times when you're alone

Well, all you do is think

I'm a cowboy

On a steel horse I ride

- I'm wanted

- Wanted

Dead or alive

- I'm wanted

- Wanted.

Dead or alive

Oh, I ride

I'm a cowboy

On a steel horse I ride

- I'm wanted

- Wanted

Dead or alive

And I walk these streets

A loaded six-string on my back

I play for keeps...

Give me the money!

Open the register and give me

the f***ing money now!

Don't hurt her, son.

Can I get, uh,

10 bucks on pump two, Suzie?

- Hit the floor, a**hole.

- Stay down!

You know, this really pisses me off.

Your store's got such nice,

clean, filtered fresh air and...

it just takes a couple

of scumbags to stink it up.

I said hit the floor, a**hole,

or I'm gonna blow your f***ing head off!

You know, if I had a nickel

for every time

some piece of sh*t pointed a gun at me,

I'd be a rich man.

I'm gonna cut you long,

wide and deep, motor head.

Pump all the gas you can hold.

That's not good business.

Hey, mister. Got a name?


Harley Davidson.

You know, my old man used to tell me,

before he left this shitty world,

there's five rules

when shooting a game of pool for cash.

Lesson number one.

Always shoot with a cigarette

hanging in your mouth.

Can't smoke with no fire, a**hole.

I quit.

Lesson two.

Always know the table before you shoot.

Lesson number three.

Make sure you chalk that stick

real good before each shot.

Lesson four.

Never make a bet...

if you can't pay the debt.

Lesson number five.

If you lose...

stand up straight and tall...

that corner...

and walk like a man.

I don't believe it. I don't believe it!

What up, cowboy?

School's out, boys.

You better get the hell out of town,

cowboy, before my cord snaps.

I'm good to go.

Soon as I got five big bills

in my pocket.

And your woman in my bed.

Well, I ain't got no $500, cowboy.

And there's no way in hell

you're bedding down my woman.

My old man said there'd be blue-bellied,

chicken-sh*t bastards like you.

You jumped on the wrong horse, cowboy.

Just in case you didn't notice,

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Don Michael Paul

Don Michael Paul (born April 17, 1963) is an actor, director, writer and producer.He starred in the films Heart of Dixie and Rich Girl with Jill Schoelen and appeared in Aloha Summer. He wrote the screenplay for Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man. He acted in the short-lived 1992 CBS detective series The Hat Squad. He played a prominent role in Models Inc. and Robot Wars. He has directed several films including Half Past Dead in 2002, Lake Placid: The Final Chapter (2012) and Tremors 5: Bloodlines. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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