HAPPY VALLEY SERIES TWO. EPISODE ONE. GREEN SCRIPT. 1.

1 INT/EXT. CATHERINE’S HOUSE, CONSERVATORY. DAY 1. 17.30 1

Sunshine. Evening.

CATHERINE’s not long in from work, she’s still in half-

uniform. She’s with CLARE. They’re both sipping tea and

smoking cigarettes with their sun glasses on. CLARE’s sitting

on the doorstep and CATHERINE’s on one of the plastic chairs.

CLARE:

Sheep rustling?

(CATHERINE:
yup)

Sheep rustling?

(CATHERINE:
still yup)

As in...

(a bit embarrassed, but

she goes for it anyway)

yee-hah! ?

CATHERINE:

No. No, there were no cowboys

involved.

CLARE:

No. Good point. That’d have been

cattle rustling.

CATHERINE:

This was sheep rustling North

Halifax style, so there’s just the

one sheep. And three lads off their

heads on acid.

CUT TO:

2 EXT. LOCAL HOUSING ESTATE. DAY 1. 12.30 2

Three lads off their heads on acid.

One’s got his hand over his mouth, the other over his eyes,

the other over his ears/head. Their cunning plan (to steal

one sheep) has just gone wrong, just this second. A pack of

four feral mongrels (ranging from something a bit like a

German Shepherd to something a bit like a Yorkshire Terrier)

chases the panic stricken sheep up the road.

LAD 1

F[uck]!

LAD 2

Shit!

Because they’re off their heads, they’re no doubt finding it

funny as well as annoying.

CUT TO:

HAPPY VALLEY SERIES TWO. EPISODE ONE. GREEN SCRIPT. 2.

3 EXT. GARDEN. DAY 1. 13.10 3

Forty minutes later.

CATHERINE’s in a small back garden with a LITTLE OLD LADY

whose house is half way between the housing estate and the

lush green hills above (where, presumably, the sheep was

nicked from in the first place). On the ground, between

CATHERINE and the LITTLE OLD LADY, lies the sheep, which has

been mauled by the dogs. It’s breath is laboured and painful.

LITTLE OLD LADY:

I managed to shoo ‘em off. The

dogs. I said “Shoo!” see, then I

got our Andrew round. And he said

to call you.

(CATHERINE takes it in.

She’s worried. She knows

chances are she’s going

to have to put this sheep

out of its misery)

Would you like some tea?

CATHERINE:

Yes. Tea. Perfect. Thank you.

The LITTLE OLD LADY goes inside. CATHERINE looks around for

something with which to put the sheep out of its misery. Her

eyes light on a sharp-edged coping stone. She struggles to

pull the stone from the top of the dry stone wall, then she

feels its weight in both hands.

CUT TO:

4 INT/EXT. CATHERINE’S HOUSE, CONSERVATORY. DAY 1. 17.32 4

CATHERINE and CLARE, as before.

CLARE:

You didn’t.

CATHERINE:

They’d mauled it. The dogs had. I

had to. There was no way it was

going to survive and it was

obviously in distress.

CUT TO:

5 EXT. GARDEN. DAY 1. 13.11 5

CATHERINE - struggling with the coping stone - is on her

radio one last desperate time to SHAF.

HAPPY VALLEY SERIES TWO. EPISODE ONE. GREEN SCRIPT. 3.

CATHERINE:

Can you really not find me a vet?

In the whole of f[ucking]

Calderdale?

CUT TO:

6 INT. NORLAND ROAD POLICE STATION, MAIN OFFICE. DAY 1. 6

13.12

SHAF:

I’ve rung seven. Your best bet is

Mr. Baxter up Bolton Brow. He says

he can get there by half four, but

he’s got wall-to-wall surgery most

of this aft.

We cut back to a glimpse of CATHERINE again, thinking “Jesus

fucking Christ”.

CUT TO:

7 INT/EXT. CATHERINE’S HOUSE, CONSERVATORY. DAY 1. 17.34 7

CLARE:

So...? You did it.

CATHERINE:

Well that was the plan.

CUT TO:

8 EXT. GARDEN. DAY 1. 13.13 8

CATHERINE’s got the coping stone raised above her head, just

about to dash the sheep’s brains out with one terrible blow,

when the LITTLE OLD LADY comes out of her house again.

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