Happy New Year, Charlie Brown

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CHARLIE:

Oh, boy.

Only one more minute

until Christmas vacation starts...

...and the teacher hasn't given us

any assignments over the holidays.

[WOMAN MUMBLING]

Oh, no.

I can't believe it.

I've just had my whole vacation ruined,

Linus.

We're supposed to read War and Peace

by Leo Tolstoy...

...and then write a book report about it.

What a way to ruin a vacation.

How are you doing with War and Peace,

Charlie Brown?

I just finished reading the dust jacket.

Many is the book report

that has been written...

...by just reading the dust jacket.

But it's such a long book, Linus.

Look, it's 1136 pages long.

I bet it weighs more than I do.

When Leo Tolstoy

was writing War and Peace...

...his wife, Sonya,

copied it for him seven times.

And she did it by candleIight

and with a dip pen.

And sometimes

she had to use a magnifying glass...

...to make out what he had written.

Linus, I really...

She had to do it

after their child had been put to bed...

...and the servants

had gone to their garrets...

...and it was quiet in the house.

Just think, Charlie Brown...

...she wrote the book seven times

with a dip pen.

And you're telling me

you can't even read it once?

[PHONE RINGING]

Hello?

Hi, Chuck. This is Peppermint Patty.

Oh, hi.

Great news, Chuck.

Marcie and I are gonna throw

a New Year's party.

You know, ring out the old

and bring in the new?

Well, I don't think I can...

It's gonna be great, Chuck.

Games and dancing and everything.

But I don't dance.

And besides,

I have to read War and Peace.

This is your chance

to ask the girI of your choice, Chuck.

And I guess we know who that will be,

huh, Chuck, you sly dog?

But you don't understand.

Like I said, I can't do anything

over vacation because...

I know you're a little nervous, Chuck...

...being it's your first reaI date.

Call me later, Chuck.

Boy, we were just with Marcie.

There's gonna be

a great New Year's party.

It's boy-ask-girI.

And I just know

my Sweet Baboo will ask me.

I am not your Sweet Baboo!

And I wouldn't invite you

to a chicken race.

Isn't he the cutest thing?

And I expect

a certain piano player to ask me.

But I've got this book report to do.

I'm enrolling us in a dance class.

A New Year's party is not a party

without lots of dancing.

I'll never be able

to read that book, Linus.

What are you going to do, Charlie Brown?

Pardon me, but do you have

a comic book called War and Peace?

[MAN MUMBLES]

No?

Do you have a record of War and Peace?

[MAN MUMBLES]

No?

How about a tape or a cassette?

[MAN MUMBLES]

No?

Well, thanks, anyway.

How about a computer game

about War and Peace?

[MAN MUMBLES]

No?

Hmm.

You didn't ask about filmstrips,

Charlie Brown.

No, they don't have it

on filmstrips either.

[SIGHS]

CHARLIE:
"Well, prince,

Genoa and Lucca are now no more...

...than private estates

of the Bonaparte family.

No, I warn you that if you do not

tell me we are at war...

...if you again allow yourself

to palliate all the infamies and atrocities... "

Well, here I am reading War and Peace...

...and everybody else

is at dance class having fun.

Maybe I should go over to the class

and just look in.

See what they're all doing.

[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]

Come on, Chuck.

We're learning to foxtrot.

But I have to read my book.

WOMAN [SINGING ON RECORD]:

Slow, slow, quick, quick

Move across the floor

Slow, slow, quick, quick

I'm only on Page 5 of my book.

WOMAN:

Shoulders back, stomach in

Take a deep breath

Now let's begin

Again

Slow, slow, quick, quick

It's really lots of fun

Just follow the footprints on the floor

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