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Do you recognize who this stud is

in the blue shorts right here?

That's me

the summer I got out of college.

Wow, Dad, you used to have muscles.

Well, I still got a few.

Where?

They're hibernating.

Who's that girl?

That's Mommy.

No, the young one standing next to you.

That's Mommy.

How come Mommy

doesn't wear a bikini anymore?

Is it because of her fat ass?

Yeah. I guess.

What? No.

Who said Mommy has a fat ass?

Mommy did.

Words hurt, Gunnar.

Hey, honey. We better get a move on. We

gotta meet up with Fred and Grace soon.

No, I know, I know. I'm trying.

How long do you think you're gonna be?

Uh, 45 minutes?

Less, if you help with the kids.

No, 45 minutes is good.

And this photograph is of me

in high school.

I'm kidding. A joke. Come on.

Okay, come on. Bath time. Time to scrub

some backs and clean some cracks.

I miss going out with you

on Saturday nights.

I wanna have a new policy of going out

six nights a week without the kids.

I think it would be good for us

to go out one night a week...

- ...where it's just you and me. It would be--

- You gotta be kidding.

- What?

- You just checked out that girl's butt.

- Who did?

- You did. And it's rude.

- What? Do you think she noticed?

- I noticed.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I'm just spacy tonight, honey, I'm sorry.

Hey, guys, come on. We're late.

- Hey.

- Hi.

- Hey, Rick.

- How you doing?

- What's wrong?

- Nothing.

Grace, let me ask you a question.

Does Fred ever check out other women

in front of you?

No, no. Fred's not a gawker.

He's a good boy. Ha, ha.

- Hmm.

- Come on, let's go say hi to Dr. Lucy.

- Let's go get a beer.

- Yeah.

- Hey.

- Hi.

- Congratulations.

- Thank you, thank you.

Our first friend to win an award.

Oh, stop it.

Listen, I don't deserve this thing.

- Oh. Come on. Yes, you do. Yes, you do.

- Oh, come on.

- The whole thing is just embarrassing.

- Stop it.

What is this, amateur hour?

How does your wife catch you

checking out another girl?

She walked by and I glanced back

for like half a second.

- Two beers, please.

- You got it.

Hey, Quagmire, you don't wait for the girl

to walk past and glance back at her.

You spot her from 15 feet away, turn, then

wait for her to walk into your line of vision.

- What do you mean?

- Don't you get it?

You can't help if her butt walks

where you're looking.

Where you're looking.

It was your air space.

- What could you do?

- Exactly.

- Is that an original?

- No.

- Who?

- Coakley.

- Coakley? He did.

- Hey, guys.

Hey, Missy.

Drink up, guys.

Let's get this party started.

- Yes.

- Whoo!

- Whoo! Ha, ha.

- Whoo! OW.

Missy sure is looking chipper for

someone going through a divorce.

Yeah. God.

You know what I love about divorces?

They love sex.

- Is that true?

- I don't know.

- I like to think so, though. Ha, ha.

- You would like to think it was true.

God.

Look at those meatheads

checking out Missy.

- Do they think, they're invisible?

- I know.

Hey, I thought you said Fred

isn't a gawker.

He was standing right there.

I can't let him know I know.

- it'll take all the fun out of it.

- Ha, ha.

Oh, God, he has this stupid move

where he looks back...

...and he waits for the girl to pass...

...so that it seems like he couldn't

help but notice her ass. it's pathetic.

You wanna hear a great idea?

Why don't you go upstairs

and slip into something uncomfortable...

...while I give the babysitter a ride home?

I want to, honey. I really do.

It's after midnight

and I gotta get up early with the kids.

No, I'll get up with the kids.

I'll take them to the park.

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