Grindhouse

Hold on, I gotta come up!

I've gotta take

the world's biggest f***ing piss.

We can't be late!

We won't!

Who's... who's holding?

If you 're not, then nobody.

We were kind of hoping you were.

- Yeah. How are you not holding?

- Jesus Christ, Shanna.

It is not my f***ing job to supply y'all

with weed when we go out.

Whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, little lady.

You 're gettin' angry kind of quick,

don't you think?

I was just teasin' you!

I'm not angry.

It just would be nice

if y'all didn't just count on me

all the f***ing time

and surprise me

every once in a while with pot.

Okay, mean girl

in a high school movie.

Are you through

having a tantrum?

I'm not having a tantrum.

Yes, you are. You 've been

in the car all of two seconds,

and you 're already cursing at me.

I am not cursing at you.

You said "Jesus Christ, Shanna,"

and then before

the sentence was over

you threw a "f***ing" in there

to emphasize your irritatedness.

Come on, don't fight.

I'll pay for it when we get some.

One, it is not about the money.

It is about the pain in the ass of scoring.

And two, we're not really fighting.

Arlene, you 've forgotten what

hanging out with Jungle Julia is like.

That wasn't a fight.

That was Julia

acting like a grumpy b*tch

and me calling her on it

and indulging her at the same time.

That's how we tolerate each other

after all these years.

Oh! Billboard!

So, what's the plan, man?

Margaritas and Mexican food at Guero's.

Did you call Rafael

and tell him we're coming?

- Of course.

- You 're so good.

I know.

Okay, is Christian Simonson

gonna be there?

You bet your ass he is...

with Jesse Letterman.

Christian Simonson,

the filmmaker, is in town.

He's got a big thing for Julia.

If he had a big thing for me,

he'd f***ing call me,

as opposed to disappearing

for six months,

and he'd get his ass down here

more often than he does.

And on my birthday

he'd give me a f***ing phone call.

Oh, billboard!

Yeah, but you get

those legs of yours around him,

and it's all over.

Yeah, well, when I'm redecorating

his house in the hills that I am also living in,

I'll let you know it worked.

So, margaritas

and Mexican food at Guero's,

touch base with Chris and Jesse,

tell them about later,

and make damn sure they come.

Those other guys'll be waiting for us

at the Texas Chili Parlor.

Oh, sh*t. Speaking of which...

what happened

with you and Nate last night?

Well, you know, not much.

We just f***ing met each other.

If you don't bust their balls a little bit,

they're never gonna respect you.

Okay, we're pretty clear

on what it is you didn 't do.

How about enlightening us

on what it is you did do?

Oh, nothing to write home about.

We just made out on the couch

for about 20 minutes.

Dressed, half-dressed, or naked?

Dressed. I said we made out.

We didn't do "the thing."

Oh, excuse me for living,

but what is "the thing"?

You know, it's everything but.

They call that "the thing"?

I call it "the thing."

Do guys like "the thing"?

They like it better than "no thing."

Okay, I wanna get back

to what it is you did do.

So you 're making out

on the couch with Nate, right?

Correct.

Whose couch?

His or the one in your hotel room?

What am I, stupid over here? Mine.

Were you making out

sitting up or lying down?

We started sitting up,

we worked our way to lying down.

Hmm. The plot thickens.

Who was on top?

I was straddling him.

What else?

That was it. So we made out

for a little while on the couch...

and I said, "Okay, I'm gonna go to bed now,

so it's time for you to leave."

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