Grandma's Boy

Synopsis: When his roommate spends the rent money on hookers, Alex, a 35 year old video game tester has to find a new place to live. After an "encounter" with his friend's mom, Alex is forced to move in with his grandmother. Trying to save face with his younger co-workers, Alex says that "a really cute chick said I could sleep with her and her two crazy girlfriends" (meaning his grandmother and her two roommates).
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Nicholaus Goossen
Production: 20th Century Fox
  1 nomination.
 
IMDB:
7.0
Metacritic:
33
Rotten Tomatoes:
16%
R
Year:
2006
94 min
$5,935,826
Website
391 Views

Oh, boy.

F*ck! Stop hitting me!

This is like if Tyson

fought an infant.

Ooh!

I can't wait to punch you in the face

while you're sleeping tonight.

Get up! Get up!

- Saved by the bell.

- Come on, let me get in a bong hit before round two.

Oh! Look at that ass.

Hey! Hey!

I spilled the bong! Stop!

Boom! Knocked you out!

Eat it, whore!

You cheated, you dick.

No, I didn't.

Oh! The bong water reeks.

Yeah, maybe if you cleaned it, it wouldn't

smell like your girlfriend's ass.

What's going on, fellas?

- What's up?

- How's it going?

Um, who are you and why

are you in my kitchen?

Oh, your landlord, he, uh, hired us

to pick up your stuff.

This is bullshit!

It's like Cypress Hill

concert in here.

I don't rent to

those kind of people.

Yuri, what the hell's going on?

- Alex, how are you?

- I'm good.

Hmm. Well, for last six months,

you no pay me rent.

So now, I no longer

let you stay here. Okay?

All right, my friends, pack up everything,

put on truck, okay?

No, no. That's impossible.

We've never missed a payment.

Every month, I giveJosh

hundreds of dollars of my money...

...and then he writes you

a rent check, right,Josh?

I love them so much.

You love who?

The girls at Madame Kamay's

Filipino Palace.

You've been spending

our rent money on Filipino hookers?

They're not hookers.

They're massage therapists.

They'll massage

your cock for money.

- There's a word for that. I think it's "hooker. "

- You're a hooker!

Whoa, wait.

Listen, Alex, I make you

special deal, huh?

I give you five minutes to pack up

all your shit you don't want thrown away.

And if you take one extra minute,

I have my two friends...

...they take your testicles

and remove them through your anus.

Deal? Nice man.

Okay, they got one minute

and then you- Okay?

I'm sorry, Alex.

I- I should have told you.

You can't whack it to Internet porn

like everyone else?

You know I don't have

a credit card.

So where you going?

I'll go to Dante's and see

if he'll let me stay there. What about you?

Madame Kamay said I could stay

at the Palace.

- You're sick.

- I know.

- Where's the bong?

- Alex!

You forgot smoking lamp.

I'm sorry.

Was that expensive piece?

That's your fault too.

Yo, Dante, pick up.

Josh is killing me.

Where are you?

I'm sick of talking to your machine.

Why aren't you home? I need you.

Hey, Alex.

Don't you answer your phone?

I've been calling for half an hour.

Oh, I'm sorry. I was putting up

my Christmas tree.

Dude, it's July.

- Get the f*ck out of here. It is?

- Yeah. And, uh...

...why are you naked?

Oh, my God.

I am naked! Come on in!

Dude, your ass is

tanner than my face.

That is pure f*cking insanity.

Yeah. I know.

He got addicted to hookers.

No, I'm talking about

the guy who threw your bong.

You should never

throw a bong, kid. Ever.

Yeah, well, anyway, I was wondering if maybe

I could crash here for awhile.

Whoa. I don't know, man.

I got a business to run.

This is like my office

as well as my home.

Plus, the lion comes

in a couple days.

- You're getting a lion?

- Yeah.

- Why?

- To protect my shit.

Never heard of a dog?

Dude, you can get past a dog.

Nobody f*cks with a lion.

Yeah, that's true.

So what kind of weed

do you want?

I got the Incredible Hulk, I got

some of the green monster, I got the bling.

Hey! We go through this

every time I come here.

I don't care what it's called.

I just want a bag of f*cking weed.

Whoa. Chill, bro. You know you can't raise

your voice like that when the lion's here.

Yeah. You know what? I got to bail

or I'm going to miss my cousin's wedding.

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