Garage Sale Mystery: All That Glitters

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THANK YOU.

[DOOR LOCK BUZZES OPEN]

MAY I HELP YOU?

YES.

WE'RE LOOKING FOR

AN ENGAGEMENT RING.

[GIGGLING NERVOUSLY]

CONGRATULATIONS.

ANYTHING PARTICULAR IN MIND?

WELL, I REALLY LIKE

KATE MIDDLETON'S.

REAL, OR FAUX?

WE DON'T SELL FAUX JEWELRY HERE.

REAL.

[GIGGLING]

WELL, KATE'S RING

IS A 12-KARAT SAPPHIRE

SURROUNDED BY:

14 EXQUISITE DIAMONDS.

THAT WOULD BE:

A SPECIAL ORDER.

OKAY.

MAY I BE OF ASSISTANCE?

[CHUCKLING]

YES, YOU MAY.

[SCREAMS]

LET'S GO TO THE BACK.

NOW!

[DOORBELL BUZZES]

COURIER.

JUST A SEC.

-INSIDE!

-MOVE!

GOT IT!

WHOO! [LAUGHING AND

CHEERING]

YES!

OKAY...

AH--

WHAT? I JUST WANT TO

LOOK AT THEM.

BROOKS WILL NOT BE HAPPY

IF YOU OPEN THAT.

TOO BAD.

HE'S STILL GONNA GET THEM ALL.

[GASPS]

OH, WOW...

SO PRETTY...

DON'T EVEN

THINK ABOUT IT.

HE SEEMED NORMAL.

WE ORDERED FOOD,

THEN HE SAID,

"DO YOU HAVE ANY PHOBIAS?"

OH, NO...

UH-HUH.

BUT WAIT,

THERE'S MORE.

EW...

STORAGE?

YEAH.

WHO BOUGHT A BARREL MUG?

YOU DID.

RIGHT.

ANYWAY.

SO, THEN HE SAYS,

"I KEEP SPIDERS AS PETS."

WHAT, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

WHAT DID YOU DO?

WELL, I SAID,

"WHY DIDN'T YOU

PUT THAT IN HIS PROFILE?"

HE SAID:

'CAUSE NO ONE WOULD DATE HIM.

WHAT A WEIRDO.

WELCOME TO THE WORLD

OF ONLINE DATING.

THERE WE GO.

IS THAT IT?

YES, FOR NOW, THAT IS IT.

-ALL RIGHT, I GOT IT.

-YOU GOT IT?

YEAH, THERE WE GO.

-ALL RIGHT.

-THERE WE GO.

-I GOT IT.

-OH, I SEE THAT YOU GOT IT.

PHEW!

YEAH, YOU GOT IT REAL GOOD.

-PHEW!

-YEAH, MM-HMM.

EITHER YOU LEARN

THE SOFTWARE, OR I DO.

OH, YOU.

I HATE BOOKKEEPING,

AND YOU'RE THE ONE

WHO ALWAYS SAYS:

WE HAVE TO BE:

MORE "BUSINESS-LIKE".

WELL, AS OPPOSED

TO SAYING:

WE SHOULD:

"MANIFEST SUCCESS".

IT'S CALLED

"THE SECRET".

OH, DID YOU JUS MANIFEST THAT?

NO... NO!

WE'RE ON OUR WAY

TO OUR STORAGE UNIT,

WE'RE LOADED.

I THINK WE GOT A LITTLE ROOM.

YEAH, WHY NOT?

THANK YOU.

I CAN'T HELP IT,

IT SCREAMED "BUY ME".

I DIDN'T HEAR IT.

SOMETIMES, THESE OLD BATS

ARE WORTH A LOT.

AND SOMETIMES?

GOTTA TRUST YOUR GUT,

AND I HAVE A PRETTY

GOOD BATTING AVERAGE.

[LAUGHS IN TRIUMPH]

YOU SEE WHA I DID THERE?

YEAH. YEAH,

HARD TO MISS IT.

[LAUGHING]

WOW.

I THINK WE MIGHT NEED

ANOTHER STORAGE UNIT.

WELL, YEAH, MAYBE

A SMALL ONE.

I'LL TALK TO MARTIN.

MAYBE THERE'S ONE

SOMETHING NEAR HERE.

I'M GOING TO LOOK FOR

THE BOX WITH THE REPOUSSE.

OKAY, LOOK FOR THE ONE

THAT SAYS "REPOUSSE"

ON THE OUTSIDE.

UH-HUH.

[CHUCKLING]

ARE YOU SURE?

OH, NO,

THANK YOU.

AH.

ANYWAY,

I OWNED THIS PLACE

BEFORE WE MET,

AND NOW SHE WANTS HALF.

NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

I'M SORRY ABOU THE DIVORCE, MARTIN.

I ONLY MET LOUISE

A COUPLE TIMES,

BUT IT'S ROUGH ANYTIME

SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPENS.

WE'RE STILL LIVING TOGETHER.

ROOMMATES.

AND NOW SHE WANTS THE HOUSE.

IT'S GOING TO BE

A REAL BATTLE.

WE NEED TO TALK, NOW.

YOU THINK:

I'M GOING TO TAKE THIS?

YOU GOING TO DO SOMETHING?

DON'T PUSH ME.

OH, YEAH?

THEN, WHAT?

HUH?

LET'S TAKE IT OUTSIDE.

SURE, LET'S GO.

WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM, PAL?

[SHOUTING ANGRILY]

I'M SO SORRY

YOU HAD TO SEE THAT.

ARE YOU OKAY?

I'M A 64 YEAR-OLD

MARINE CORPS VET.

I DON'T BACK DOWN.

WHAT WAS HE:

SO UPSET ABOUT?

GUY LOST HIS STORAGE UNI SOMETIME BACK,

SEEMS HE JUST FOUND OUT.

YOU DON'T PAY YOUR BILL,

YOU LOSE OWNERSHIP.

WE AUCTION IT OFF

SO WE CAN TRY TO MAKE

SOME OF THE MONEY BACK.

AND YOU MUST HAVE GIVEN NOTICE.

YEAH, YEAH.

WE WAIT UNTIL:

IT'S THREE MONTHS OVERDUE.

WE SEND OUT LETTERS, WE

PHONE.

WE PUT A NOTICE:

IN THE PAPER.

YOU KNOW...

THERE'S AN AUCTION

THIS SATURDAY.

YOU SHOULD COME.

IT'S LIKE THE BEST GARAGE SALE

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