Funeral Kings

Synopsis: Two altar boys decide to play hooky after serving at a series of funerals.
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Production: Freestyle Releasing
  1 nomination.
Rotten Tomatoes:
85 min


Sh*t, man, you've got to bring

up the book.

- What are you talking about?

- You've got to go man, I can't.

- Why not?

- I... can't.

Well sh*t man, neither can I.

How'd they find out?

You f***ing idiot!

What's the matter, Bobby?

Are they going

to tell my parents?

Dude, what's going on?

Nothing, take this!

Where are you going?

We're not going to hang?

I can't, alright?

What are we supposed to do?

I don't know, man.

I'm not your babysitter.

Just tell me what's going on!

- I can't!

- Why not?!

Because you're a little kid,


I'll see you tomorrow.

And she does this all the time?

Yeah, man.

The baby's got to eat.

So her tits are just

hanging out for anyone to see?

No, man.

Jesus Christ!

She wears something over it,

the baby just goes underneath.

Boy your dad did it right

this time.

I would give my left hand

to see your step mother's tits.

Come on, man!

What are you doing?

Mind your f***ing business,


What are you doing?

Who has time

to memorize 40 vocab words?


There's a test?

Clear your desks.

Take out your number 2 pencils.


Principal's office...

after the exam.


Mr. Thompson?

Can you send Andrew Gilmour down to

the office? He has to serve a funeral.

Be prepared to take the test

tomorrow, Andrew.

No problem!

What's going on, Bobby?

I've got to hide this

in your room!

You can't go in there.

My parents are going to wake up!


When are you going

to be back to pick it up?!

I don't know.

Don't open it...

...and don't tell Charlie.


Andy, what's going on?

Nothing, Charlie had to pick up

a text book.

Are you kidding me? No way,

you're like five-years-old.

Eat a dick, I'm fourteen!

Chill out, dude.

- Hey Rye!

- Hey what's going on?


Is Miss Nolan back yet?

I'm pretty sure she's out

for the next week.

- Awesome.

So you do the paper or what?

Hell no.

Good neither did I!

Don't be late for class.

Alright, we'll try.

See ya.

I would do awful awful things

to that girl.

- Why are you still here, man?

- Uh, I've got money.

- Make it twenty-five.

- Twenty.




Here you go.

Just stuff it in your pocket.

I don't want some teacher seeing me

selling to a f***ing kindergartener.

F*** you, man!

See ya later, man.

Dude, where were you?

You've got to start

reading the obits, dude.

I knew this lady died

three days ago.

I just came right here.


Bobby came over

to my house last night.

For what?

Where is he now?

I don't think he's coming in.

Well look at you boys.

Don't you look handsome

in your albs.

All dressed up for the funeral!

Mrs. Edward is probably looking down from

heaven now, saying, "What handsome boys

are serving my funeral!"

She's a lucky lady!

Thanks, sister.

This is David.

He'll be taking over for Robert.

What happened to Bobby?

Bobby has not made

the best choices, boys,

and now he's suffering

because of them.

Keep your prayers with him.

Did sister say

when Bobby was coming back?

Who's Bobby?

- The kid your filling in for.

- I think I'm replacing him.

For how long?

For like, forever.

No, he's coming back.

That's not what sister said.

How old are you?

- Thirteen.

- You smoke?

- Uh, no.

- You drink?

Should we be talking

on the altar?

Oh, Jesus...


What the hell happened

to Bobby?

I don't know. He called me at like

midnight, and dropped off this trunk.

It weighs like

a hundred pounds.

What's inside it?

- Where are you going?

- Uhhh.

We only have

a couple more hours in the day.

None of our teachers

expect us back.

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Kevin McManus

Kevin J. McManus (born November 3, 1978 in Kansas City, Missouri) is an American attorney and politician from the state of Missouri. He was elected the Missouri House of Representatives in 2010 and was re-elected in 2012 and 2014. In 2015, he was elected to the City Council of Kansas City, Missouri, where he presently serves . more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Funeral Kings" STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Web. 8 Feb. 2023. <>.

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