Freebie and the Bean

1

[meowing]

[meowing]

[dog barking]

[baby crying]

[engine revving]

(Freebie)

'Stinks, I'm telling you'

'it's rotten, alright?'

(Bean)

'It's not that bad.'

How do you know?

If it tastes good, then, uh

that's all

you need to worry about.

(Freebie)

'Johnny's,

it's a terrible restaurant.'

Here, come on.

You do it for a while.

Come on,

you did it for 8 seconds.

I did it for 7 minutes exactly.

Say it was 1 1 :
38, it's 11 :45.

That's 7 minutes.

It's a $200 watch.

That's wholesale.

Come on, it's getting

on my jacket, anyway.

Last week, it was your pants.

No, you're wrong.

Last week, last week,

it happened to be my shoes.

- Oh, Jesus!

- Jesus Christ!

There's a cat in there.

Get him out of there.

Get Out!

Out!

Here.

- Here, hold the flashlight.

- 'Huh?'

Oh, I hate this.

What's that?

It's a baby bottle.

Red Meyers doesn't have a baby.

His fag dog had puppies.

- 'Here.'

- What?

Something for you, play with it.

Oh, now, this is nice.

This is nice,

in the last 1 4 months

this is the nicest thing

you've ever given me.

Cuteness.

Look at this.

He ate the crotch right

out of her panties.

Huh, she must have a cute ass.

North side, 78,600.

Look at that!

Look at that!

Receipts and everything.

There's got to be more.

(Bean)

'Careful, careful, careful.'

- 'Everything's got salad oil--'

- 'There's more here.'

Yeah, that's it, man.

We got Red Meyers' ass.

- 'Here, wait, what?'

- 'Here's another piece.'

Here's another piece.

Come on, let's get his ass

out of bed.

Let's bust the son

of a b*tch, come on!

Wait, we gotta get Motley.

We need Motley!

Motley the witness, let's go.

Come on!

[instrumental music]

You and me babe

We go together

Just like peaches and cream

Two peas in a pod

Birds of a feather

You and me

You and me babe

Got something going

There ain't nothing

we can't do

Like honey and bees

We go together

Me and you

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

[music continues]

Hey, Freebie!

Hi, sweetheart.

(female #1 )

'Come on back!

I owe you one.'

[indistinct chattering]

Hey, Mongo, how are you?

Bean, how are you?

What's doing?

- Want a burrito?

- Yeah.

No, no, no, no,

we got some business to tend to.

Seen Motley, or what?

I haven't seen Motley

in 1 4 years.

14 years, huh?

(male #1 )

'Hey, Mongo!

You got a hot dog bun?'

'I'm gonna need one

to make a sandwich.'

Hey, Mongo, give us a break.

Get ahold of Whitey.

I think they got

something going.

Thanks a lot.

(female #2)

'And I think

you all have my masters!'

'Huh, and I can teach us 1 2!'

You're a very, very bad man.

Get that, will ya, Bean?

I don't want to get dirty.

Lieutenant.

Call me lieutenant, start

learning how to salute because

a cop that puts away Red Meyers

is gonna make lieutenant.

Vice Squad.

We retire in three years.

We have five apartment buildings

and every hooker in town.

- Still going with vice squad?

- What's wrong with vice squad?

- Something wrong with that?

- Nothing's wrong!

You don't wanna live

in a nice house?

Huh, wear nice clothes?

Drive a nice car?

- Something wrong with that?

- Do whatever you wanna do.

That's what I wanna do.

I want you to have it, too.

You're my friend, I love you,

something wrong with that?

- I want you to be rich.

- I wanna be a cop.

You wanna be a shakedown artist.

And you know,

you really are stupid.

(Freebie)

'I wanna be lieutenant!

You know, you're right.'

Because $806 a month

is not a bad life

for a spic that swam across

the Rio Grande at age of 1 0.

And you're gonna go miss me,

aren't you?

'You can't get along

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