Frankie Boyle: Live

Synopsis: Frankie Boyle live at his first ever stand up show with his razor sharp humour
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Brian Klein
90 min

I think he's the best thing

on the BBC at the moment,

so I'm really looking forward

to seeing him tonight.

He's the best and funniest thing

about Mock The Week.

I love him on Mock The Week.

I think he's brilliant.

I would like to say that I think

Frankie Boyle is an incredibly funny man.

He is f*cking hilarious.

- He's obnoxious and hilarious.

- And he's a funny bastard.

If he's good on Mock The Week,

he has to be good live.

- He swears a lot.

- Yeah, and he's Scottish.

Ladies and gentlemen,

please welcome to the stage

the blackest man in show business,

Mr Frankie Boyle!

Well, hello, Hackney.

I had a wee look round Hackney today.

Looks like a f*cking holding pen

for the Jeremy Kyle show.

How are you doing, little fella?

You've made a f*cking effort.

Looks like someone shaved a monkey

and kicked it through Top Man.

You've gone for it with the hair here,

haven't you?

You look like

a moderately powerfuI Pokemon.

Why is he a giant version of you?

You're like f*cking Russian dolls there.

How you doing, big fella?

How's life been since you played Mongo

in the Blazing Saddles movie?

- What d'you do, big man?

- IT.

IT. And you said that in a sort of,

"And my souI is dying

"every time I sit in front of

the computer screen. "

What about you, Frodo?

What's your story?

Don't know why I called you Frodo.

Cos you look like you've had

your ring destroyed. I don't know.

- What d'you do, man?

- Photographer.

- You're a what?

- Photographer.

You're a photographer.

You're a trainee paedophile, sir.

- We got Scottish people?

- Yay!

I love that cheer

Scottish people do

when they think

there's a lot more Scottish people in.

"Yay! Ooh, we're surrounded. "

- Where are yous from, Scottish people?

- Glasgow.

- Same f*cking...

- Paisley.

Oh, Paisley. He's topped you

in Shit Town Top Trumps there.

Sorry, we've had a higher bid.

What's brought you down from Paisley?

- Drugs.

- A raft made from turnips?

Although I quite liked your answer -

"Drugs. "

I suspect that's your answer

to a lot of questions.

"What time is it?" "Drugs!"

- Fife.

- Fife? Who's from Fife?

The kingdom of Fife.

- Whereabouts in Fife are you from?

- Kirkcaldy.

Kirkcaldy. I'll have to explain this

to them now.

Basically, Kirkcaldy... The town's pride

took a bit of a knock recently,

when they found out

that the people of Ethiopia

were holding a rock concert for them.

- So, what are you doing in London?

- Working.

"Working. "

There's a dour Scottish answer.

You're just going to bleed the information

out gradually, aren't you?

You're a f*cking human riddle

from Kirkcaldy.

My first is in "windmill"

but not in "canal".

"I work, but what do I work at?

Guess again. "

- What d'you work at?

- I'm a consultant.

Consultant. D'you want to go

any deeper into the explanation

- or are we just...

- Management consulting.

Management consulting.

What are they managing?

Not very much.

Are they managing to find you

quite an annoying cunt?

Is that how you've managed

to stay in the business so long?

Just by giving one-word answers?

"What should we do about the staff?"

"More. "

"More staff?" "Maybe. "

What about you? A hat.

Not everyone can carry off a hat

in the front row of a comedy club.

Why are you in disguise tonight?

Is there a particular reason?

- What do you do for a living?

- I'm a fundraiser.

- You're a fundraiser. For charity?

- Yeah.

Rather than just... yourself.

"I'd like you to sponsor me

because I'm f*cking skint. "

- What's the charity?

- It's for disabled children.

Disabled children.

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Frankie Boyle

Francis Martin Patrick Boyle (born 16 August 1972) is a Scottish comedian and writer, well known for his pessimistic and often controversial sense of humour.He was a permanent panellist on the comedy panel show Mock the Week from its beginning in June 2005 until his departure in September 2009 and since then has made guest appearances on several other panel shows, as well as writing for Jimmy Carr's Distraction and Sean Lock's TV Heaven, Telly Hell. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018


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