Fletch Lives

Synopsis: Fletch is a reporter for a Los Angeles newspaper, but he acts more like a detective. When an obscure relative leaves him a Louisiana mansion in his will, Fletch is naturally curious. Arriving in Louisiana, events occur that make him suspect that all is not well, and there is more to the property than he has been led to believe.
Genre: Comedy, Crime, Mystery
Director(s): Michael Ritchie
Production: MCA Universal Home Video
Rotten Tomatoes:
95 min

Los Angeles late at night is much like

any big American city late at night.

At 2:
00 a.m. People are either

making a mess or cleaning it up.

Tonight's my night

to do the cleaning up.

My name, most of the time,

is Irwin Fletcher.

I write under the name of Jane

Doe. That's the kind of gal I am.

This is a Greek seafood house,

part of a very successful chain.

But, believe me,

it's not because of the food.


from basketball.

List it as codfish.

120,000 from

the Gonzalez fight.

That includes 60 from

our chain in the Valley.

Twenty from Long Beach.

120 total.

Put that

under halibut.


from the track.


We already got over two

million in scrod this month.

Scrod's making a comeback,

all right?

So how are you listing

my stake?


$ 75,000 worth of breakage?

We're Greeks! We dance,

we break plates, we're clumsy!

Cut the fighting. We gotta

be cross town in 30 minutes.

You wanna wash up?

Nah. My wife gets suspicious if I come

home and my hands don't smell like fish.

I got it.

You get the lights.

Where's Poppa?

In the back.

Tell him to snap it up. We'll meet him

in the car. Phil, I'll drop you off first.

You better.

- Hi.

- What's your name, little lady?

My name? Peggy Lee... Zorba.

Peggy Lee Zorba.

- You're cute!

- Do you mind if I freshen up a little bit?

Splash a little water

on my face.

Whatever makes you

feel sexy.


Just wait outside.

I'll be right out.

What the hell was that?

- Jesus.! If it's a cop, kill him.

- Hi. Mary Poppins!

If it's a reporter,

cripple him.

You're never driving again!

I just did what

you told me to do.

There's a new thing called

brakes.! Will you shut up.!

Good. Brilliant as usual, Fletch.

We'll run it in the next edition.

Great. See you

in two weeks.

Uh, Fletch, there's... "Uh, Fletch"?

Frank, I see a double-cross in your eyes.

You promised me a vacation and I'm

taking it. Right after the sewer story.

What are you talking about?

You can't do this to me.

I spent eight nights on my knees for you

dressed like Dolly Parton at a funeral.

I got felt up. I got

dishpan hands and sore knees!

Three guys tried to kill me.

And do you give a crap?

You promised me a vacation!

And you're gonna get a vacation.

As soon as you research and write the

sewer system expose. You owe me a vacation!

In July you're gonna have it!

That's two months away.

That's why you're such a great

reporter. You know the facts.

By the way, the new computer

disallowed your undocumented expenses.

- It'll come out of this week's pay.

- You can't do that.

There's nothing I can do about it. It's

amazing. It's all done automatically.

On top of everything else,

I think I'm getting my period.

No wonder I got a fumigation

alert. How'd you get in here?

The window was open.

I knocked, and I could swear

I heard you say, "Come in."

You really know how to cover your ass, Gillet.

Although those pants are a huge mistake.

You owe me $4,381

in back alimony.

What? I was married to you?

You're right. I've been foolishly

squandering my salary on food and heat.

You have one week to comply

with Judge Proctor's orders.

Payment in full.

Otherwise you go to jail.

Wendy doesn't need

the money.

I hear she's been... banging some

balding, wimpy lawyer who can't get it up.

- May I see that?

- Be my guest.

It's a nice briefcase.

Couldn't guess your weight?

Oh! I'm sorry.

I got it.

Never mind,

I'll take care of it.

Look at this. A note from

the Oakwood Potency Clinic.

"Sorry to inform you, our machines cannot

process sperm counts as low as yours."

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Gregory Mcdonald

Gregory Mcdonald was an American mystery writer best known for his creation of the character Irwin Maurice Fletcher, an investigative reporter who preferred the nickname "Fletch. more…

All Gregory Mcdonald scripts | Gregory Mcdonald Scripts

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Fletch Lives" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 15 May 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/fletch_lives_8316>.

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