Synopsis: Walt Koontz, a homophobic guy, ends up with paralyzed vocal cords because of an unfortunate stroke. His therapy includes receiving singing lessons from a neighbor who is not only openly flamboyant but also a pre-op transgenderist. Both of them are equally prejudiced; Koontz against homosexuals and the neighbor against close-minded straight people.
Genre: Comedy, Crime, Drama
Director(s): Joel Schumacher
Production: MGM
  3 wins & 4 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
112 min

What's up, Walt?

Get the rope! Up there!

How was the handball game today?

We won.

You always win, man.

Sh*t! I missed it again.

You gotta get that delivered.

I gotta get to that game.

Hey, Walt. How you doin'?

Hey, John.

- Walt, can I count on you for Thursday?

- Yeah.

Stop, motherf***er, or you will die!


Hey, Dolly. Love your hair.

We're here!

- Hey. What you got there?

- Love letters?

Looks more like a Dear John letter to me

Hey, everybody needs love, honey.

All I need is a John!

They are not girls. They are not boys.

They can't help it.

They was born like that.

Something in the throat.


Hey, Walt.

Hey, Pogo. How you doin'?

Not good.

What happened?

Remember Ashley, my girlfriend?


She f***in' left me, bro.

What do you want?

She looked like she was 14.

Hey! Hey! Shut the f***in' window

or shut the f*** up!

You shut your f***in' window!

F***in' faggots!

The gay community thanks you

for your support, f***er!

F*** you and the gay community!

F*** you and your Get married, have

kids and beat up the dog community!

F***in' demented f***in' fruitcakes.

Ah, sh*t! He's not there, the little f***.

Where the f*** is this motherf***er?

I don't trust him! I never did!

You 're looking sharp, Walt.

Save it for your payin' customers, babe.

- Hi, Amber.

- Listen.


Hi, sweetheart. I was in bed last night

and I saw a rat run across my rug.

No, I'm sure you're mistaken.

You 're not listening to me.

I was in bed last night.

I saw a rat run across the rug. OK?

Rat? We have no rats here.

Could you send Jaime to check

my apartment tomorrow, please?

I'm late for work.

Come on, Amber. Come here. Hurry up!

Thanks, Cristal.

Get in here.

I can't!

We're safe.

How you doin' there?


Hey, Walt. How ya doin'?

Remember Sally?


Hi, Walt.

Hey, baby. What are you doin'?

Comfy? Are you two comfy?

Well, welcome everybody.

You all look fabulous. You look f***ing

great... except for this table over here.

Who's from Brooklyn here?

Any guys from Brooklyn?

Oh, hey, sweetie. You guys

like guy... girls with big fat asses?

Big ol' tits, right?

Why don't you come up here?

Just stand right there

except don't come any closer.

Guys like you beat my ass once I leave

the club. You know what I'm saying?

You love me when I'm here, and when

I leave you beat the sh*t out of me.

All right.

Get your f***ing hand off my shoulder.

I was trying to get your ass.

Oh, my God. Are you gay?

A little bit.

Only a little bit?

And I'm a little bit of a girl, too, sweetie.

You're all woman.

All right. I want you to bend over now.

I want you to kiss my ass.

Kiss my ass. Think of me

as a present and it's Christmas.

All right.

Have a seat. Look at you. Jesus Christ!

All right, honies, I'm gonna invite

my first pretty little number on the stage.

And she's wonderful.

Amazing Grace, thank you.

How come you never aks me

to dance, huh, Walt?

How come always Karen?

Cos Karen's a lady and you ain't.

You're a whore.

How many times I tell you?

I don't go with whores.

I'm not a whore, Walt.

You're not? OK.

I'm ready.


I hate to aks you, but I'm...

running kind of short on my rent again.

That enough?

Thank you, baby.

What a man.

What a woman.

See you next week.

I'll count the days.

That's a good boy, Leonard.

Escucha bien.

Just gimme my money.

Why'd you f***ers shoot? F*** you!

Relax! Relax!

You want another one, motherf***er?

You shot her! You motherf***er!

Why'd you shoot her?

You f***in' killed her, man!

Sir, can you hear me?

He's coming round.

Rate this script:(4.00 / 1 vote)

Joel Schumacher

Joel T. Schumacher (born August 29, 1939) is an American film director, screenwriter, and producer. Schumacher rose to fame after directing hit films of his decade St. Elmo's Fire (1985), The Lost Boys (1987) and Flatliners (1990). He later went on to direct John Grisham adaptations The Client (1994) and A Time to Kill (1996). His films Falling Down (1993) and 8mm (1999) competed for Palme d'Or and Golden Bear respectively. In 1993, he signed on to direct the next installments of the Batman film series. Schumacher-directed Batman films Batman Forever (1995) and Batman & Robin (1997) received mixed-to-negative reactions from both critics and the public. After the Batman films, Schumacher pulled back from blockbusters and returned to making minimalist films such as Tigerland (2000) and Phone Booth (2002), both earning positive reviews. He also directed The Phantom of the Opera (2004), The Number 23 (2007) and two episodes of House of Cards. Known for casting young actors, Schumacher helped actors like Colin Farrell, Kiefer Sutherland, and Matthew McConaughey to launch careers. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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