Fakkah Fuzz: Almost Banned

Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Michael McKay
Actors: Fakkah Fuzz
60 min


[theme music]

[crowd cheering]

[emcee] Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to Fakkah Fuzz: Almost Banned.

Now, please welcome to stage,

Fakkah Fuzz!


[upbeat music playing]

[audience cheering]

What is up?


[Fuzz] Whoo!

Wow, wow, wow, wow.

How many non-Malays in the house?

Make some noise.

[audience cheering]

How many Malays in the house?

Make some noise.

[loud cheer]

All right, all right, all right,

we gotta be nice.

Because this is an international filming,

so there's white people over here.

They gotta know who we are, all right?

So, hello. Hi.

Sir, you're obviously not from Singapore.

My name is Fuzz.

I am a Malay from Singapore.

If you are wondering what this is,

this is what a Singaporean

was supposed to look like. Okay?

[audience laughing]


Oh, man.

It's hard, isn't it, man?

We tried to travel the world

and try to tell people that we are Malay,

but we cannot do that, because why?

Every country you go to,

there is a race

that looks like you, right?

Right, you cannot be exotic

if you are a Malay. You know, huh?

If you go to the Philippines,

you're Filipino, right?

If you go to Thailand, you're Thai, right?

If you go to the U.S., you are deported.

Do you know what I'm saying?

[all laughing]

Any Malaysians in the house?

-[man #1] Yeah!

-[Fuzz] Yeah!

[in Malay] Oh, you guys are up there!

What am I going on about?


Malaysia, man. You know... Malaysia is a great place, okay?

But there are some things in Malaysia

that they are good at,

that we are not good at.

We have to admit that, all right?

And this... Whenever I come to Singapore,

no, whenever they come to Singapore,

right, and I go to Malaysia,

I can see the differences.

For example,


We are not very good in crime, okay?

Give that to the Malaysians, right?


[Fuzz chuckles]

They're good, they're good.

They're very good at it.

I give you the same crime...

[audience chuckling]

First of all, I didn't know

how dangerous Malaysia was.

I didn't know, okay? I didn't know.

My friends told me, they said, "Fuzz,

don't walk down the streets

of Bukit Bintang at night,

it is dangerous."

I said, "Bro, I am Malay.

Bro, if I ever get robbed,

I can get my money back.

It's probably my cousin. No problem."


I got robbed at knifepoint, you know, huh.

And they all say, "Don't walk down here,

it's quite dangerous.

Don't walk down here,

it's quite dangerous," right?

And I got robbed at knifepoint.

And it's not the fact that I got robbed

that was weird,

it's after the guy robbed me.

He said, "You better be careful over here,

quite dangerous." I'm like...

[audience laughing]

Crime can't work in Malaysia, man.

It cannot.

It cannot work in Malaysia

the same way it works in Singapore.

It can't. I give you the same crime.

Both in Singapore,

and Malaysia, and I'll tell you

why it doesn't work, right.

What is the crime that's very common?

Snatch theft by motorcycle, okay?

Snatch theft by motorcycle.

This is if it's in Malaysia.

There is a pillion, there's a rider,

and there's an unsuspecting woman.

[in Malay]

"Okay, bro. Are you ready, bro?"

I just assumed he's Malay. I assumed.

[audience laughing]

Based on general headlines, okay?

[in Malay]

"Okay, bro. Are you ready, bro?"

"Okay, bro, get the bitch's purse, bro.

Get the bitch's purse."

"Go, go, go!"

[imitates whooshing]

You will never see

that person ever again, right?

In Singapore, it's a bit different.

Pillion, rider, girl.

"Okay, bro, get the bitch's purse, bro.

Get the bitch's purse."

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Fakkah Fuzz

Muhammad Fadzri Abd Rashid (born 19 September 1986), generally known by his stage name Fakkah Fuzz, is a Singapore stand-up comedian and television personality. more…

All Fakkah Fuzz scripts | Fakkah Fuzz Scripts

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Submitted on August 05, 2018


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"Fakkah Fuzz: Almost Banned" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 17 Oct. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/fakkah_fuzz%3A_almost_banned_7959>.

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