Et soudain tout le monde me manque

---

Ill have a Frappuccino coffee

and a Chai Tea Latte

with soy milk... Venti.

Frappuccino and soy Chai Latte, Venti!

What name?

Your name?

Why?

Thats the system.

We label your cup.

We call you when its ready.

That way theres no mix-up.

But Im the only one here.

No name, no drink.

THE DAY I SAW YOUR HEAR Ju...

Ju, darling...

Tell her no more squatting here.

Were having a baby.

Theres no room for Auntie.

Baby, shes my sister.

I cant put her on the street.

Half-sister.

And that makes it okay?

Yeah, sort of, I think.

Hurry, its the shrink!

- Morning, Ju!

- You okay?

- Having problems?

- The adoption shrink.

- The b*tch is early.

- Why didnt you say?

Wait... How do I look?

- So-so.

- Hold on! Ill get a scrunchie.

Hello. Come in...

This is our little home.

This is the living room.

Better?

With... this poor forsaken soul.

She broke up with her boyfriend

so we took her in.

Thats how we are.

- Shes my wifes sister.

- Half-sister.

Those are the feet.

And the heart.

And the sex?

Let me see...

No, its too soon to say.

Maybe next time.

I promised him a boy.

He already has two girls.

Is this your first baby?

Theres a 50% chance its a girl.

- And heres the head.

- Fascinating!

A little gel, a mouse

and you see everything.

- And in 3D!

- Dont touch.

Isnt that beautiful?

Yes, having a baby is beautiful,

Mr Dhrey. Its a miracle.

Especially at your age.

Not the baby, the machine.

Technology, modernity...

Amazing!

Here.

- Shall I gift-wrap it?

- Yes, please.

Quick.

Youre the only one

in a rush to get there.

Im coming!

I really wish we didnt have to go.

Whats your present?

Monogrammed golf balls.

Why?

Thats a weird idea,

isnt it, my sweet?

Happy birthday to you!

I cant stand this!

Daddy!

I told you not to, Suzanne!

I hate this.

Ill make some coffee.

They have a Nespresso machine.

Top class!

Wheres Atom?

Why didnt he come?

Because its over between us.

Why? Why is it over with Atom?

- Why do you always...

- Dad, stop.

You see, Suzanne?

That makes five in one year.

So, shall we tell them?

- If you like.

- What?

- Getting divorced?

- No!

- Building a porch?

- Stop!

Its just that Suzanne is pregnant.

Were having a baby.

Thats great.

Boy, that guys good!

I made Ristretto and Livanto,

for those who like it strong.

And for those who like...

Did you want Vivalto?

We went to Barcelona for the IVF.

- IVF?

- In vitro fertilisation.

- Suzanne, how could you?

- Justine, calm down!

Letting my father raise another child?

Its thoughtless!

- Justine, youre exaggerating.

- Am I?

Remember how my teacher hated me

after he likened her to Goebbels?

True. It was scary!

Or how he defended the girl

who slapped me at the zoo?

The poor thing had a glass eye.

Or how he told me

he bought a toy store?

I did that?

You promised me

an elephant and a giraffe.

I told the whole school!

A good Jewish father

preparing you for disappointment!

Good father? You were never there.

You dont know us!

- Doms right, its a bit overboard.

- Dad, how do I make a living?

Ill ask you the same question, Justine.

What are you doing with your life?

See, that went well, didnt it?

Oh, how dumb.

You didnt even give him his gift!

What do you care?

I wont be the baby anymore.

Your arm like that...

Shoulder...

- Itll hurt a little.

- I know.

There.

They found a lump.

Dont worry.

Dont move!

So, Miss Diagnosis,

what do we have here?

How is it?

Lets look at it in my office.

- Mahboob, where are those clogs from?

- How are you, Mr Eli?

- Im going to be a father.

- Great!

- Mazel tov!

- Hold on.

Youre like my sons-in-law.

You saw what I did to Justine.

Want someone else

to have the same fate?

No.

You know how they ask

for your name at Starbucks?

- Isnt that a bit weird?

- No.

- As if theyre dying to know it.

- What do you care?

- Just say your names Sylvie!

- Yeah.

How about a girls night out?

Well chat up some guys...

Know what? Lets go clubbing!

Whats the matter? Hey?

Do you want my photo or what?

- He gets on my wick.

- Everything does!

Girls night out, cocktails...

- Fatboy Slim songs?

- You think its still 2001?

Eli, you may be a different father

with this child.

You may be more mature.

Or maybe not!

Like grandparents

with their grandkids, see?

No, I dont see.

For example, my grandpa Ren.

Always cool with me.

Always the opposite with my mother.

What are you trying to say?

Im too old to be a dad

but Id make a good grandpa?

Thats right.

Right.

- Leaving now?

- I have things to do.

- Bye, Harry.

- Bye, Eli.

I dont want to be a good grandpa,

I want to be a good golfer!

That changes everything.

I got dumped.

She left, after seven months.

Just like that, with no warning.

Then you realise

your lifes about to change.

Breaking up is tough.

Have any of you broken up recently?

Or never got over one?

A break-up you never get over...

That happens, too.

It still hurts, since Year 10.

Now youre 47

and youre like That b*tch!

Atom, your fathers at the bar.

My father?

Eli?

I loved it!

- Thanks.

- No, really great!

- What brings you here, Mr Dhrey?

- Call me Eli.

- What brings you here, Eli?

- Like a drink?

Its free for the... for us.

Whats up?

I warm them up, she makes

three speed-dating jokes

and they think shes a riot.

Women arent funny.

We all know that.

Unless theyre fat.

Rate this script:4.0 / 1 vote