Encino Man

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[ Screaming ]

[ Screaming ]

- [ Car Alarms Wailing ]

- [ Dogs Barking ]

[ Panting ]

l hate those things.

Oh.

# Ooo-ooo

Ooo-ooo #

# Ooo-ooo

Ooo-ooo #

# Reality used to be

a friend of mine #

# Reality used to be

a friend of mine #

# May be why the question

that's on your mind #

# But reality used to be

a friend of mine #

-# Reality used to be a friend of mine #

-[ Barking ]

# Reality used to be

a friend of mine #

# Please don't ask me

'cause l don't know why #

# But reality used to be

a friend of mine #

# l used to be friends with reality #

# She used to be a pal

real close to me #

# But she tried to hide from me

what was in store #

[ Howling ]

[ Woman ] Stanley, is that--

Will you put that back ?

- Ummm.

- Put that back !

Hey, l just washed all this stuff.

- lt's my gear.

- Sorry, man.

- lt's okay.

- What's my mom screaming about ?

She's bummed

'cause l snaked your last bagel.

- Grab a shovel, man.

- No, l just wanna munch.

You don't wanna help,

that's just fine.

- [ Stoney ] Uh-huh.

- This is a total waste of time.

Dave, be more of a geek.

There's no way you're going to the prom.

- [ Girl ] You're a disease.

- Ahh.

- And no one will ever swim

in this stupid pool.

- Hey !

Later.

Look, David, please do me a favour

and stress less, bro.

High school is over, buddy.

Get into it.

We're losers.

l've decided something, Stoney. l wanna

look back on my high school career,

and think that l started slowly

but l finished strong, you know ?

High school's almost over and

l don't have anything to show for it.

l know, me neither.

You should be stoked though, buddy.

You got through the last four years

without the full-on melon tweekage.

lt's not enough. l mean,

l want my own page in the yearbook.

Jump off the gym, splatter on the street

and go for the co-ver.

lt's not funny. l'm not goin' down

as this geek kid from Encino.

When l finish this pool, l'm gonna

have the killer party after the prom.

l'm gonna be the prom king !

And l'm gonna graduate a legend.

[ Stoney ]

Well, what about me ?

Oh, well, you'll be there too.

Thanks, but Robyn Sweeney, she's not

goin' to the prom with you, man.

-l wish she would but she's not.

-What are you talkin' about ?

Robyn Sweeney is mine.

She's become a major babe

and she loves me.

- She finds you crusty, Dave.

- l'll convince her.

- She'll see the truth.

- Truth is...

life's about greasin' the do-back,

buddy, and weasin' on the buffest.

High school was interesting, right,

but it was kind of

like a harsh ride. O-o-o-ow.

We're goin' on to bigger

and better things, buddy.

Stoney, l am on to

bigger and better things.

Count on it !

[ Stoney Yelling ]

[ Stoney ] Oh, wow !

Hey, what's up ?

- # l'm a stoney crusty dude #

Did you know that ?

- Get out, dude.

- [ Stoney ] # l got a mop on top #

- Watch out !

Excuse me. Could you move. Me and

my friend, David, are comin' through.

- Hey, there's Robyn.

- Hey, Robyn. O-o-o-ow !

Four-wheelin' over the ferns.

Look, Dave, you're gonna have to mellow

out, bro, on this whole Robyn thing.

- She always shines ya.

- You don't understand. We have history.

You had pre-freshman history.

You could've had her back then.

She hadn't hit ""babehood"" yet.

Milk does a body good.

Check her.

[ Stoney ]

She's clean, buddy,

and he's got her.

[ Chuckles ]

Matt Wilson ?

What a jerk.

What does she see in him anyway ?

[ Stoney ] He's got the buff spikes

chillin' on top of his melon.

Dude, he's checkin' her cheeks. Ohh !

He's got the serious beak, his own

personal... oh ! holding company,

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