Employee Of The Month

Yeah.

- Incoming.

- Here you go.

- Iqbal, order up!

- Hey!

Hey, did Humera get that promotion yet?

The boss is gonna think about it.

It's looking good.

Nice.

Lon. Lon. Lon!

Jimmy Buffett. Who?

Sleeping, buddy?

No, adjustmenting.

Crikey, is it time to close this b*tch

or what?

We got about another hour.

Lon, you ever thought about

getting the laser eye surgery?

They say only about one in 1,500 people

don't see results.

That's a risk I'm not willing to take.

See you.

- Mom, can I get this?

- No, honey, it's too expensive.

Please. But I really want this.

Actually that's 40% off. Open box policy.

- Today's your lucky day, buddy.

- Wow, tell him thank you.

Thank you.

- Hi, Zack.

- Hey. What's up, Semi?

My mom made you some blueberry muffins.

Oh, what a sweetheart.

That is where you get your charm from,

isn't it, Semi?

I guess so.

Damn it!

Not this month, Zack. Not this month.

Who's Anal?

It's anal, dumb-ass.

Anal? You do?

Since when are you in the business

of asking me questions?

This is cashier number one.

Tell Zack he's messed with the bull

one too many times.

The bull's in the china shop.

I am the bull, he is the china shop.

My uncle had a bull. Big cojones.

Jorge's uncle had a...

Do not speak to me when I am on-line.

Hey, man. Looks like you're in trouble, guy.

Let's just focus here, okay, Russell?

Let's look what we got here.

My dented deviled ham

for your crushed bread

and broken peanut-butter-and-jelly jars.

Wait a minute.

PB and J, that's like gold, man.

Deviled ham is almost a spiritual meal.

Okay, fine. You're on.

- Well, let's go then.

- Let's go.

- One, two, three!

- One, two, three!

- Paper covers rock! All me!

- Damn.

Cameron, bag up my stuff for me.

I'll take that.

- Now, that's not part of the deal, guy.

- Heads up.

It smells like ass.

He's so...

- Have you seen Zack?

- No?

Well, I bet if he were covered

in chocolate and had a nougat inside,

you'd know exactly where he were at.

- That your pen?

- I don't know.

- Well, where did you get it?

- I don't know.

- Who gave it to you?

- I don't know.

Is your name Semi because you're the size

of a huge Mack truck,

or because you're semi-retarded?

- I don't know.

- Idiot.

Attention Super Club shoppers.

We're closing in five minutes.

So if you could please

finish in five minutes, that would be great.

- There you are.

- You're in deep, homes.

- He does not do anal.

- That's too bad for you, Jorge.

Do you know what this is?

Yes. That is a 10-times-larger-than-life

replica of your penis.

Oh, that's hilarious.

I realize that you don't care about

your job, but I do.

And I want to thank you

for caring about my job, really.

My job, jerk-off.

You know, it's funny. For the past 10 years,

I've been climbing

the Super Club food chain, as planned.

But you, you haven't moved at all.

I'm almost at the top.

It goes manager, section manager,

head cashier, cashier, stocker,

clean-up crew, night clean-up guy,

and lastly, box boy.

- That's what you are.

- That's me.

Yeah. That's why you can't

come into the cashiers' lounge.

You know, after all this time,

you'd think you'd understand

that you're the lowest of the low.

Yeah, the lowest of the low.

Aren't you a box boy, too, Jorge?

Oh yeah, but he's my box boy.

Yeah, I'm his box boy.

Your love for him

concerns and confuses me.

You listen to me, jerk-off,

and you listen well.

- Chill, boss, it's Glen.

- Mr. Gary.

- Mr. Gary.

- Hey, what do you say, boss-man?

Good evening, gentlemen.

Meeting in 60 seconds,

and I've got big news.

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