East Meets West

Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Jeffrey Lau
  1 nomination.
100 min

In 2011, a scientist from

the University of Cambridge

William Tunstall-Pendoe

input over 3 hundred million pieces of data

into a supercomputer

in order to determine the precise date

of the single least meaningful day of

the last century

it was a peaceful day, with not much

happening of international import

except that by some strange coincidence

I managed to be born

I've been spending over 30 years

ignorantly passing through this tunnel called life

I see the same people every time when I get drunk

they tell me to get out of this tunnel

as soon as possible

and go to see the outside world

I'm Sammi

I do makeup for the dead


Fortunately modern Chinese culture

still has room for shrimp dumplings and shaomai

When I see them together, inseparable

I can't help but think of Romeo and Juliet

Iove and hate mixing together

So powerful!

Well here's a discounted package for you then

It's a set menu. Night Lovers For Two

When shrimp dumplings meets shaomai

on this honeymoon banana split

the original price was 26.8

now it's only 20 for you

because fate had us meet here

I didn't ask for a banana split

Miss, this banana is mine

Please get a new bag of shaomai for this lady

It's quarter to midnight

only 1 5 minutes to March 1st

that's when these shaomai expire

fate doesn't have to be decided by god

it's managed by our company mostly

"Table for 6"

it's a speed dating service specially

designed for singles

keep changing till you find the right one,

no 10% service charge

You shut up

Hey Miss, don't leave yet

You really need our service

You know why?.

take a look, according to our database

the women who come to convenience stores

at this time of night...

...are sad, why?.

They must be workaholics

- Of course not

- Well, even worse

no boyfriends taking care of you

it's ok to refuse me

but don't refuse fate

My first name is Seven

Last name is Eleven

Then I'm Circle K

- Hey Hey!

- don't follow me

You're a pro, perfect!

don't move! freeze!

What are you doing?.

Let me check you out first

I just want to see if it's love at first sight

According to the theory of

the psychologist professor Pandora from Harvard

the first time two people meet

if one's body temperature stays

a constant 38.6 degrees Centigrade

there is an 80% probability of love at first sight


I don't believe in either love or marriage

Well said

Having sex without love,

living together without marriage

Either is ok with me


Hello? what's wrong dad?

Huh? Shenzhen?

What are you doing in Shenzhen?

Just watching her move

I can tell she's no ordinary woman

what's more she absolutely is no ordinary woman

"1 980's pop sensation"

"the Wynners"

"Kenny Bee as the Zombie""

Look at your dead looking face,

goofing around your whole life

What goofing around?.

It's my job to be a zombie

You called me urgently yesterday

I called back but your phone was off

I called your home and no one answered

Have a little common sense

I'm up to my ears in debt,

how can I turn on my cellphone?

You're kidding me?. you're in debt again?

Not me this time, it's your mother

I'm sorry, it's stepmother

We broke up seven times within two years

It's getting hard to keep her in line

Harder than raising a daughter

You deserve it

She is the most vain of all my classmates

and you picked her?

if you hadn't called her up to fix the computer

how was I supposed to make her your mom?

I didn't call her

I called her boyfriend Tommy

and she invited herself

What are you reading uncle?

Horse Racing Tips

Those tips are a scam

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Jeffrey Lau

Jeffrey Lau Chun-Wai (simplified Chinese: 刘镇伟; traditional Chinese: 劉鎮偉; pinyin: Liú Zhènwěi; born 2 August 1952) is a Hong Kong film director, screenwriter, actor and producer. Lau is famous for writing and directing "mo lei tau" comedies. His comedies include A Chinese Odyssey (with Stephen Chow) and Chinese Odyssey 2002, the latter which was voted Best 2002 Film by the Hong Kong Film Critics Society. more…

All Jeffrey Lau scripts | Jeffrey Lau Scripts

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "East Meets West" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Web. 5 Jun 2023. <https://www.scripts.com/script/east_meets_west_7410>.

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