Dream Lover

Hey, Ray. How's the wife?

Well, it...

How's the family?

The first case I see here

is Reardon vs. Reardon.

Will counsel please stand?

- We're petitioning. your honor.

- And for the respondent?

Mr. Reardon. I ask you again.

where is your counsel?

I fired him.

I no longer contest

any aspect of this divorce.

Mr. Reardon, this court was

prepared to render a judgment -

- quite favorable to your interests.

It was a mistake, your honor.

She can have whatever she wants.

- We were impossible.

We were like oil and water.

- I still love you.

- Me too.

That's what made it

so hard to leave.

- Till you hit me.

- I slapped you.

- I pushed your face -

- with your hand.

- Well, betrayal is not my best thing.

- Yeah, well, I know.

I'm not the only guy who gets upset

when he finds his wife sleeping...

I wasn't strong enough

to break away without it.

- He's a jerk.

- Of course he was a jerk.

It's not easy to find

someone like you.

Try harder.

Oh God. I'm already jealous.

I know you're going to find

the right person.

And when you do, she's gonna be

the luckiest woman alive.

- To a free man.

- Fresh meat on the market.

- Thank you.

- May you never sleep alone.

Thank you.

I told you not to marry her.

You two had absolutely

nothing in common.

Forget "in common" okay?

She wasn't his type.

Ray always went for brunettes.

You're telling me.

- You're Larry's wife.

- Picky, picky.

Plus, you're a lawyer.

That's right.

Ray likes artsy types.

He likes them thin

and dark and artistic.

Right. So are we talking

sex here or marriage or...

- What about love?

- Love?

But in the long term.

You're interested in a family, right?

I want everything-

The kids, the dog, the Volvo.

Whoa, slow down

on the family, sport.

First you get laid.

Then you get laid.

Exactly. There are many

many women out there.

- Lots of skinny women, even.

- Anorexics.

Yes. Dark angelic anorexics.

They're 33 years old.

Their biological clocks

are tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.

Come now! I'm ovulating!

I'm fertile today! Just today!

It kills me to say it.

but I'm going to agree

with Norman on this.

You are attractive, you are straight.

You are not overtly psychotic.

Oh, thank you.

Listen.

You just take your time.

And don't you be a slave

to your glandular reactions.

By the way, have I ever mentioned

that my family crest -

- is actually a big gland?

I rest my case.

I am down on my knees.

I am begging you.

All right.

This is humiliating.

Are you deaf?

I'm guaranteeing you

100% return in six months.

You're my friend, Norman.

Sure. That's why I'm

bringing you the deal.

I'm going to loan money once.

I'll do it again -

- sooner or later

I'm gonna lose a friend.

Great. Swell.

So... I'm floating facedown.

All right. Look.

I wanted to emphasize

the positive here.

The money's not just...

It would keep me alive

another 72 hours, okay?

would your friendship

allow you to do that?

I love this.

- How much?

- For the investment?

To save your life.

well, say 20 grand.

- I'll give you half.

- You'll save half my life?

This isn't good. Between friends -

Forget the whole thing.

No, I need the bucks.

It's just that I know you can

afford more. And I'm wondering...

This isn't my job to rescue you

from yourself, all right?

- You're going to regret this.

- What?

A year or two.

Fortunes could change.

You could come to me

wanting something.

See what happened here?

It's the same with girls.

A little friendly advice.

Remember the girls

I set you up with?

- Those women were...

- I'll do better.

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