Down

Ok, showtime.

It's my quarter. Come on, I...

Oh boy, this is really something.

-Well, let me see.

Gimme another quarter. Thank the Lord

for making babies like this.

Is she nude?

-She's taking her bra off.

Ah, boy,

I'm gonna need a bigger telescope.

Come on, gimme another quarter.

-This is my last one.

She's taking her panties off.

Whoa, there's two of 'em.

What, two panties?

-Two women, you dumbhead.

They're getting down on him

both of them.

Oh, let me look, let me look.

-Ok, ok. Hurry up, it's gonna rain.

Where are they? F*ck!

-You moved the telescope.

To the left, to the left. Oh, oh,

I got 'em. I got 'em! Oh, f*ck!

Oh look, gimme a quarter.

-I don't have any quarters.

Oh, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck!

-That's right, use your imagination.

Six five, come in, please.

-Yeah? Six five, Andy, here. What's up?

What's your position, six five?

-On the observatory deck on the 86th.

We can't see you on the monitor.

Check the camera, will you?

Ah, oh yeah, I see what's wrong.

Some joker put a plastic bag over it.

Damn tourists.

Can you see me now?

-Yes, we can, thanks.

They were watching those hookers again.

-Must be Thursday then. How time flies.

God.

Next time bring more quarters.

-Next time I want to see that ass, too.

Whoa, that was a big one. Any damage?

-No, everything seems fine.

I hope you're right.

Next stop the sixty-sixth.

They've got a very interesting

collection of Swedish videos down there.

I'm not talking Ingmar Bergman either.

Well, who's Ingmar Bergman?

-An actor. Hey, wait here a minute.

I gotta take a piss.

-Yeah, he was in... ''Casablanca''.

Oh yeah, that's right.

Hey.

Stop it!

Oh. F*cking doors.

Ah, hey, if I tell you to stay open,

stay open!

What the f*ck did you do?

-I don't know, I...

Look at your flashlight.

-It was the elevator.

Oh no. Watch out.

-You watch out. You know,

one of these days I'm gonna poison

your donut. Are you coming or what?

Yeah, sure.

-Your mother sure ate a lot of red meat

when she was pregnant. The elevator

did it, how dumb can you get?

Hello?

Hey, Jeff.

-What the f*ck are you doing there?

You couldn't make it to the front door?

-They stole my keys.

Couldn't find them anywhere.

-Those with the Porsche key-ring?

Yeah, those.

-Here.

Now hurry up. We're late as it is.

-Where d'you find them? Oh my God,

you have no idea how long I was looking.

-I'm sure, I'm sure, Mark,

at least 2 minutes. Come on, move your

ass. The bus is leaving in 2 more.

I'm going,

I'll break the speed limit, man.

Hey, I'll be faster than lightning

on steroids, ok? Ok, be right there.

You look like shit. Smell it, too.

Must be my aftershave.

-So, the 2 of you have a fight again?

Who says, we're fighting all the time?

-Ah, just a hunch.

Where are we going?

-Village. Just routine check-ups today.

Exciting.

-Just be grateful I found you this job.

Hey, I am grateful. The first few months

aren't all that exciting, that's all.

I wouldn't complain if I were you.

-He says to me:
''You gotta move up

in the world, kid, you know, I'm gonna

help you out.'' I just didn't think

that meant riding elevators all days.

-If you don't like it, then quit. Ok?

All right.

-Go back to fixing Coke machines.

Ok, all right, my head is killing me.

I like this job. What makes you think I,

for real, don't like this job?

-My ass is on the line. Don't f*ck up.

I won't. I solemnly swear.

In fact, I'm gonna become elevator

mechanic of the year for you.

It's eight forty-five on WNYS.

Time for a news and weather update.

Flooding, caused by heavy rain showers,

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)