Don't Be a Menace to South Central

Synopsis: "Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking your Juice in the Hood" is a parody of several U.S. films about being in the 'Hood', for instance "Boyz n the Hood", "South Central", "Menace II Society", "Higher Learning" and "Juice". We follow Ashtray as he returns to the place he grew up in and meet his father and his basket-case friends. Crazy stuff happens. For example, Ashtray is older than his father and his best friend Loc Dog's grandmother is a trigger-happy old lady who blames her eccentric-looking kid for not being tough enough.
Genre: Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Paris Barclay
Production: Miramax
  1 nomination.
 
IMDB:
6.6
Rotten Tomatoes:
32%
R
Year:
1996
89 min
Website
1,193 Views

What up, y'all?

Yo. I'm fixin' to tell you

how it is in the hood.

- See, 'cause in the hood,

everybody's a target.

No, it ain't like that.

I'm goin' tell you the real deal

what it goes on in the hood.

See, in the hood, most of us

won't reach the age of 21.

Happy birthday, homie

- For me?

- Yeah. Happy birthday, homeboy

- For me?

- Yeah. Make a wish.

- Agh!

No, Lord! No, Lord! Not my baby!

I know You didn't do me wrong, Lord!

No! He done--

Oh, my Junior!

I nursed him with these!

Lord, why?

- Not my baby!

- Yo. Yo!

- Yo, yo! This ain't your baby.

This ain't your baby.

Mmm? Ah. Ain't that some shit.

I'm outta here.

I'm gonna tell you what

it's really like livin' in the hood.

I moved back into my father's

house after livin' with my moms

for most of my life.

Tray, I don't want you

hangin' out in the streets.

I want you to finish school,

'cause without an education the only

work you're gonna get is sellin' drugs,

pimpin' women or workin'

security for Eddie Murphy.

Now, I've done all I can.

I got my education;

I worked two jobs to support you.

But I can't teach you

how to be a man.

Only your father

can do that.

Now gimme a kiss

and be a good boy.

- I love you, Tray.

- Love you too, Mom.

So, will I see you again?

Sorry, baby.

You know there ain't no positive

black females in these movies.

- Sorry.

My father tried

his best to give me advice.

The problem was, he was only

a couple of years older than me.

Fool, I told you I don't

want no damn Watchtower!

Hey, what's up, n*gger?

- What's up, Pops?

- Oh, how you doin', man?

- How you doin', man?

- How's it goin'?

- Oh, man!

- Look at you. It's goin' be on!

- Look at you, man!

Look, you got big, man!

- Oh, you know.

Last time I seen you,

you was about this tall.

They wouldn't even let you on

the rides at the amusement park.

Had to take you to kiddie land.

- Remember that?

- Yeah, but it's all good.

- I was just about to eat

breakfast. You hungry?

- No, I'm full, man.

- I had some Red Hots.

- Oh, is that right?

Cool. Hey, man, come on in.

Oh, please allow me.

You're the guest in my house, man.

Make yourself at home.

Hey, are those your Bo's?

- Yeah.

- Hey, I'm gonna be sportin' them, man.

It's good to have you

up in it too.

- I'm gonna finish gettin' my

swollen on right. Have a seat.

- All right. Cool.

Hey! Make sure your

ass is on that plastic.

Look, Tray.

So we're not bumpin' heads.

Man, if you gon' be stayin' here,

you gon' have to follow some rules.

No smokin' my shit.

Don't let me catch you drinkin' my shit.

And if you bring any of them ho's up

in here, make sure I f*ck 'em first.

And, uh... you gon'

have some chores.

- Chores?

- That's right. Chores.

N*gger, this ain't gon'

be no free ride!

Uh, you gon' have to

keep track of my Matchbox cars.

You got to organize the damn

Sega Genesis cartridges.

Do my homework, since you want

to be such a smart ass.

After that, in the nighttime,

cut the hair on my balls.

- Can I ask you a question, Pop?

- Yeah.

What you gon' be doin'?

Hey! Look, n*gger, I ain't got

to do nothin'. My mama take care of me.

-I know you think I'm bein' hard on you.

What the hell. I guess I'm tryin'

to teach you some responsibility.

- You right, Pop.

- No shit.

Hey, could you do me a favor?

Could you line me up in the back?

That's gon' run you

about $13.

Thirteen dollars?

Come on, man. The Spanish dude

down the block only charges six.

- Well, take your ass to him

and let him f*ck your head up.

- Nah, I'll let you cut me up.

Hey, Tray, let me

ask you a question, man.

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Shawn Wayans

Shawn Mathis Wayans (born January 19, 1971) is an American actor, DJ, producer, writer and comedian who starred in In Living Color, The Wayans Bros., and White Chicks. He is the brother of Keenen Ivory, Damon Sr., Marlon, Kim, Elvira, and Nadia Wayans. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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"Don't Be a Menace to South Central" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 23 Aug. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/don%27t_be_a_menace_to_south_central_7097>.

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