Synopsis: Les, a small-time celebrity photographer desperate to make it big, befriends Toby, a homeless young man with no direction except a vague desire to become an actor. When by chance Toby becomes romantically involved with K'Harma Leeds, the hottest pop star of the moment, Les grows jealous and plots revenge.
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Romance
Director(s): Tom DiCillo
Production: Peace Arch Films
  5 wins & 1 nomination.
Rotten Tomatoes:
107 min

Hey, Les.

- Hey, Ricco. What've we got?

- K'harma's inside.

- Is Jace with her?

- Yeah, they're eating lunch.

Hey, what's going on in there?

Get the f*** out of here, kid.

We're working.

Alright guys, forget it.

She's not coming out. Okay?

Come on, Mitchell, one shot.

No. Now I need

you all to step back at least

Okay? Please. Thank you.

You're in my spot, man!

Yeah? I don't see

douchebag written on it.

Hey, man.

That's his f***in' spot, man.

Get your hands off me,

you f***in' paparazzi!

Rule number one... the bigger

the ass the bigger the a**hole.

- Yeah. He's got a big ass!

- You f***in' pig.

- I'm a licensed professional too.

- Chill out, bro'.

He ain't worth it.

The fat f***in' pig.

I can't believe

he just took your spot.

Welcome to my world, kid.

- I want a coffee. who wants coffee?

- I'll take one.

I could use a coffee.

Who's going?

I'll go.

- Yeah, send the kid.

- Send him.

Yeah, I could get coffee.

You want coffee?

- Get three regulars. Alright?

- No problem. Three regulars.

You better

come back with my change.

I'm coming right back.

Three regulars.

One, two three.

Be right back.

- Light and sweet.

- Make mine black. Dark black.

Great idea, send

a crackhead to go get coffee.


How did they even know

I was here? Did you tell them?

I'd never do such a thing, Miss

Leeds. If you just bear with me...

I've got something to tell you, man.

My burger wasn't even done.

My personal apologies, sir.

Come back as my guest any time.

I'm just saying, it was like

all red and sh*t. I hate that.

Hold on a second.

Let me check something.

Hey. I don't want them taking

my picture. I just want to leave.

You know, I can do things.

I'm good.

I could work for free.

I could get you coffee.

Hey you, do me a favor.

Look down there.

Are they looking?

Yeah, they're looking.

- We can't do it.

- Oh, sh*t.

Back up.

- Ten feet.

- Okay.

I lost my shades.

- Let me have yours.

- No.

Come on.

The light's f***in' up my eyes.

Everyone knows

it's you anyway. K'harma.

Or sometimes known as

Instant K'harma.

- Don't say that.

- I'm just kidding, babe.

How about now?

Are they looking?

Hold it. Hold it.

- Ok, come on. You can go.

- Go. Quickly.



Go, go, go, go!


What the f*** is wrong with you?!



- What the f*** are you doing, man!

- Sorry, man.

Don't f***in' sneak up on me

like that! You following me?

No. Do you remember me?

I was...

- I got coffee for you guys.

- So?

There was change left.

I didn't want you

to think I was stiffing you

on the change. You know? 23 cents.

Jesus. Just keep it.

Keep it? Thanks. Thanks, man.

It's going to help.

Hey, do you think

I could crash here?


I'm f***in' freezing, man.

Do you think maybe I could crash?

I'll be out in the morning.

Just on your floor or something?

On your stairwell.

What am I, a f***in' hotel?


Go to a flophouse. Find yourself

a cardboard box or something.

What the f*** you want from me?


Hey man, I really

appreciate this.

It's a nice spot.

You been here awhile?

- Are you gay?

- No. I mean...

Look, I don't give a sh*t.

It's just that I got a lot of chicks

coming over and I don't want

to give them the wrong idea.

No, I'm not gay.

Whatever. I go with

the flow, that's my motto.

Otherwise you snap

like a toothpick.

- You know what I'm saying?

- Yeah.

- It ain't the Ramada Inn. Okay?

- It's great.

What'd you say your name was?


These are nice pictures.

Nice? They're f***in' great.

I got that from 75 feet away.

Elvis Costello.

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Tom DiCillo

Thomas A. "Tom" DiCillo (born August 14, 1953) is an American film director, screenwriter and cinematographer. more…

All Tom DiCillo scripts | Tom DiCillo Scripts

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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