Deathgasm

Synopsis: Two teenage boys unwittingly summon an ancient evil entity known as The Blind One by delving into black magic while trying to escape their mundane lives.
Genre: Action, Comedy, Horror
Director(s): Jason Lei Howden
  13 wins & 10 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.3
Metacritic:
65
Rotten Tomatoes:
87%
NOT RATED
Year:
2015
86 min
30 Views

- You know that evil

Heavy Metal

that your parents hate

you listening to?

You know those lyrics

about hell and doom,

demons ripping you

new orifices to shit out of?

What if I told you

it's all reel?

I know...

I was there.

- But wait.

Lets start at the beginning.

It all started in Greypoint,

the middle of ass-fuck nowhere.

I had to shift here

after my mum

went on a massive meth bender,

and tried to suck off

a Santa Claus

in a crowded mall.

Mum got sent to a mental ward

and I got stuck with my uncle.

- My Uncle Albert

was balls deep into Jesus.

He thought Ricky Martin

was heavy.

He heard me cranking some

Disembowel/ed Corpse,

and he hasn't slept for days.

I brought about

the end of the world.

Biggest dick move ever.

- Stop struggling.

- Ow.

- It won't fit.

- Ow. Ow.

- Get up there. Oh...

- This is Dion.

- And that is probably the

least embarrassing orifice

that dice has been shoved into.

- Wait...

Yes, it's in!

- And this

is my dickhead cousin.

- Hey, David...

- He's hospitalized

more nerds than asthma.

- I saw Uncle Albert washing

your sheets this morning.

You shit the bed or something?

- Fuckin' devil-worshiper.

I can't wait until my dad

kicks you out on the streets

and you've got to blow

truck drivers for food

like your psycho mum.

His Mum is a psycho.

- Ow.

- You all right, man?

Here's your dice.

- It's actually a die.

Dice is plural.

Um, and it's a D10. But...

- Thanks.

- Jesus.

Who's that?

- Oh, Medina Darcy.

- Number one cause

of awkward boners in Greypoint.

- Ahhh... no, dude.

- What do you mean "no"?

- No way are you tapping that.

Chicks like that, they don't

go out with metalheads,

they bang apes

like your cousin.

Forget her, man.

At lunchtime,

do you want to do something

completely badass?

And that's...

...eight points

of non-lethal damage.

Exceeds your HP;

your cleric is unconscious.

- No fucking way.

How is it still breathing?

I cast a fireball.

- You cast it at a Fire Troll.

It's immune to fire.

- This is bullshit.

- Well, that's Giles.

He was once suspended

for violating the

CPR training dummy.

- I'm the DM, Giles.

What I say goes, okay?

I am the law.

- Yeah, this is

your problem, Dion.

- Okay, yeah.

- This is why no woman

will - will talk to you.

- Hey, do you know what?

A whole family of goblins

has just amassed around

your dead body.

And one of them

is humping your foot.

How do you like that?

- How - how...

Metal is the way

- Ah!

Hey.

- Fuckin' nerds.

- Oh Jesus.

It's piss.

- They - they sprayed us

with piss.

Again!

- Oh, the Player's Guide

is totally ruined.

- My friends are losers,

my uncle keeps trying

to christen me in my sleep,

and I'm drenched in my

cousin's bodily fluids.

- X minus one...

X plus one...

Good work, Brodie.

Nice technique.

Great shading on the

demon penises.

Ah.

Ha, is that me

having hot pokers

stuffed up my rectum

by skeletons?

- Yes, sir.

- Mmm.

Nice likeness.

Very detailed.

Two weeks detention.

- Silence!

- So, that's me, Brodie.

- Thus, X 6, X 5...

- Fuck my life.

- Fucking late again.

Oh, Christ, it's my

Satanist cousin Brodie.

Look at that ugly loner.

I'm gonna make his life

hell on earth.

- Wow.

That's really cool, David.

Can you please

take me home now?

- I thought we'd take

a drive or something.

- Okay,

It's hard to believe,

but talking about bullying

isn't really a turn on.

- There was only one

cool thing about Greypoint...

Alien Records.

Byron sold the sickest vinyl,

while his psychic girlfriend,

Abigail,

told fortunes to

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"Deathgasm" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 23 Jul 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/deathgasm_6606>.

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