Dear Dumb Diary

Synopsis: Based on the best selling series "Dear Dumb Diary" by Jim Benton. Follow Jamie Kelly, as she navigates Mackeral Middle School with the help of her best friend Isabella, her nemesis Angeline and the boy of her dreams, Hudson.
Genre: Family
Director(s): Kristin Hanggi
Production: Triple D Productions
84 min

My name is Jamie Kelly.

I'm an artist and a writer

and an expert on all things beautiful.

Inner beauty, outer beauty-

you name it.

I go to Mackerel Middle School.

Hey, you'd think

they named it after a fish

because so many of the kids

are working below a "C" level.

Okay, bad joke.

Forget I ever said that.

My best friend is Isabella.

Isabella is probably one

of the nicest people you'll ever meet,

even though you can't tell

by looking at her

or meeting her

or knowing her your whole life.

Okay, Isabella

is my second-best friend.

My best friend is...

well, my best friend is someone

I can tell anything to,

even the really weird things

that keep happening to me.

Is it just me,

or is it possible that everything

in middle school is a weird thing?

To answer that question,

I need to figure out

the meaning of life.

But until then,

my best friend is my diary,

my dear dumb diary.

# Yada yah yah yah yah yah yah S

# Yada yah yah yah yah #

If I didn't give you

permission to read this diary,

you better stop reading right now.

If you are my parents, then yes,

I know I'm not allowed

to call people idiots and tools

and trolls and all that.

But this is a diary.

And I didn't actually

call them anything,

I wrote it.

And if you punish me for it,

then I will know that you read my diary,

which you did not

have permission to do.

Now by the power vested in me,

I do promise that everything

in this diary is true.

Or, at least as true

as I think it needs be.

# Are you sure you're supposed to be #

# Reading someone else's diary? S

# It might be time to stop and think #

# 'Cause I wrote this down

in poison ink #

Poisoning somehow seems wrong.

# If you read a little secret

about Isabella #

# You really shouldn't know it,

so just don't tell her S

# Just let your mind flip

into a comfortable numbness #

# But never underestimate

your own dumbness #

# Idiots and fools and goons

and half-wits #

# It's not my fault I know everything #

# Information is revealed

on a need-to-know basis #

# It's all in my dear dumb diary #

# Read it in my dear dumb diary #

# If this is you, freaky beauty queen #

# Otherwise known as Angeline #

# Don't you dare take another peek #

# 'Cause I won't turn the other... #

# Idiots and fools and goons

and half-wits #

# It's not my fault I know everything #

# Information is revealed

on a need-to-know basis #

# It's all in my dear dumb diary #

# Read it in my dear dumb diary #

# Yada yah yah yah yah yah yah S

# Yada yah yah yah yah #

J' Yada yah yah yah yah yah yah J'

# Yada yah yah yah yah. #

I know, I pretty much rock.

That's why all the dudes

are crazy about me.

Dudes like Hudson Rivers.

He knows I got it.

Hey, Jamie, check it out.

New dance I'm working on.

It's called the Choke.

Did you say something, Hudson?

Yeah, the box you made me

for my birthday, for my arthropods...

I was up all night labeling.

Doesn't it look cool?

I'm sorry.

Here, let me help you with that.

I've dropped things before and I know

how much trouble droppage can be.

Bugs don't bother you?

Each of these beautiful invertebrates

has their own special role

in nature, you know?

Every creature has its place.

And my place... it's next to you.

We're like two Swallowtail butterflies

meant to flap their wings together,

side by side.

Yep, two Swallowtail butterflies

with their pet unicorn

who has his own pet,

which is a koala.


I said I thought I had more beetles.

Did you see any more of them?

No. You know, Hudson,

I've been thinking...

- Hey, Angeline.

- See, dumb diary,

Rate this script:(4.00 / 3 votes)

Jim Benton

Jim K. Benton (born October 31, 1960) is an American illustrator and writer. Licensed properties he has created include Dear Dumb Diary, Dog of Glee, Franny K. Stein, Just Jimmy, Just Plain Mean, Sweetypuss, The Misters, Meany Doodles, Vampy Doodles, Kissy Doodles, and the jOkObo project, but he is probably most known for his creation It's Happy Bunny. more…

All Jim Benton scripts | Jim Benton Scripts

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Submitted on August 05, 2018


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"Dear Dumb Diary" STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 28 Jan. 2020. <>.

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