Dark Horse

Synopsis: Abe Wertheimer - an odious, purposeless, self-centered 35-year-old living parasitically with his parents (by choice) and working in his dismayed father's business office (avoiding work while scoping eBay for collectible toys) - meets Miranda, an equally pathetic but self-loathing social dropout who, having given up on life, masochistically accepts Abe's sudden proposal of marriage for a knowingly grim future she won't fight against. Along with projecting his own faults onto his father, his own jealousy for lack of success and accomplishment onto his younger brother, and wallowing in the blind support of his mother, it's just another aspect of Abe's unsatisfying life that he just can't see to improve. A long-overdue decision finally spins his insignificant life out of control.
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Director(s): Todd Solondz
Production: Vitagraph Films
  3 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
86 min

[electric volts]

Hi, I'm kid sister and I'm

stackin' money drinkin' all night

got you feelin' right, better

get your right hand high

yo, girl, ain't out the gutter

but your girl about to snap

D... D... D... did I stutter? About

to bounce and break your bed

that boy you got a problem,

holler at Dr. Phil

I put a little hurtin' on you,

and I'll do it some heels

over and over I'm rocking

pull it to the club,

but the sun was popping

got a little land

around the block

and ain't no stopping now,

'cause I ain't

so buddy, buddy,

ain't gonna lie

I gotta, gotta it all night

say, aw, Sookie, Sookie now

gotta get that hand up

Hi, I'm kid sister

and I'm stackin' money

drinkin' all night,

got you feeling right

better get your

right hand high

I'm kid sister, and I'm stacking

money drinking all night

got you feelin' right, better

get your right hand high

I never dance.

Where you from? West Side!

everybody from the best side I'm

rippin' the midwest, right?

Just not my thing.

Gotta keep that hand up high

you know I keep

these nails nice

if you hear me, holler,

I gotta get that hand up

Hi, I'm kid sister, and I'm

stackin' money drinkin' all night,

got you feelin' right, better

get your right hand high

I'm kid sister, and I'm stackin'

money, drinkin' all night

got you feelin' right

better get your right hand ...

oh, sorry. Excuse me.

Um, excuse me?

Sorry. Excuse me.


Well, it was really

nice to meet you.

Oh. Yeah.

Um, do you think that

I could call you?


- I mean...

- Do you have a pen?

Oh, sorry.

Oh, hey. Actually, I could just

punch it directly into my cell.

Oh, great.

Go ahead.

I, I can give you

my work number.

That's cool.


home is fine, too. Or cell phone.

I mean, either way.

Um, well...

It's okay. Go ahead.

I'm ready.

Uh, nine...




You know what? I'll give

you my home number.

Home number. Okay.



One sec.


Six, five, one,

six. Seven...

right, cinco, uno, seis.

So much could happen

on a night like this

we can make the memory

of our first...

[Car alarm chirps]

Hi, Abe.

Did you have a nice time?

[Woman on TV] You said

you wanted me to look sexier.

Here you go.

Thanks, Justin.

Did you finish

the spreadsheets?

I'm on top of it, dad.

I need them done

by Monday morning.

I know. I said,

"I'm on top of it."

[Telephone rings]

- Need a hand?

- Thanks, Marie.

But, really, I can deal

with this on my own.

- How's it going, cuz?

- Fine.

Are you going to

see Tron Legacy?

The trailer looks pretty good.

Where are you going?

I have a meeting.


Reach out for more

and make it better

than it's been before

today is gonna be

the perfect day

to step into your life

and make anything change

you can be who you want

you can be ...

[car alarm chirps]

Excuse me.

Oh, hi.

Can I help you?

Yes, I'd like to make a return.

Was there something

wrong with the item?

Well, I bought it here last

week, and when I opened it,

I saw that it had

a scratch mark on it.

Ugh... you opened it.


Sorry. Once you've opened a sealed

item, it's no longer returnable.

But it had a scratch mark on it.

I'm sorry. You opened it.

Can I speak to the manager?

He's not here right now.

Well, then,

when will he be back?

Oh, gee, I don't know.

He's on break.

I want his name

and his telephone number.

Well, I'm sure if you wait

just a few minutes...

I have no time for this sh*t!

You'll be hearing

from my attorney.

[Dice rattling]


Oh! Do you

know what? Um...

I gotta go to the

Rate this script:(5.00 / 1 vote)

Todd Solondz

Todd Solondz (born October 15, 1959) is an American independent film screenwriter and director known for his style of dark, thought-provoking, socially conscious satire. Solondz has been critically acclaimed for his examination of the "dark underbelly of middle class American suburbia," a reflection of his own background in New Jersey.[1] His work includes Welcome to the Dollhouse (1995), Happiness (1998), Storytelling (2001), Palindromes (2004), Life During Wartime (2009), and Dark Horse (2012). more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Dark Horse" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2022. Web. 9 Dec. 2022. <https://www.scripts.com/script/dark_horse_6338>.

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