Dara O Briain: Craic Dealer

Synopsis: Stand-up comedian Dara O Briain at full speed in Edinburgh.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Tom Poole
95 min

This programme contains strong language and adult humour.

Ladies and gentlemen, please, put your hands together

and welcome on stage Dara O Briain.

Good evening. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

How are you? Hello, hello, hello.

You're very good.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome.

- How are you? Are you in good form?


Course you are - it's Edinburgh, it's spectacularly warm,

it's almost unnaturally warm in Edinburgh.

The glow off the heads of the lot of you is insane.

Welcome to the show, ladies and gentlemen.

We're five months into the tour at this stage

and, generally, in relatively good health under the circumstances.

Even the throat is holding up.

Right at the start of the tour we were in Dublin, I felt

a tickle in the throat and you're going,

"Oh, Jesus. Don't lose the voice now."

And I went into a Boots and I said, "I'm about to do

"a lot of talking, and a lot of roaring, do you have anything?"

This is the pharmacy counter. "Do you have some...?"

Practically leaning in and kind of,

"Not the shite you sell these fecking eejits behind me.

"The good stuff."

And the woman goes, "I have just the thing," and stepped out from

behind the counter, walked to the throat section,

picked these things up and said, "These are very good.

"Because not only can you suck them, but on the inside, there's honey."


I went, "I'm sorry? Are you explaining Lockets to me?"


"Cos they've been on the market for some time now, pet,

"we've mastered that technology.

"Tell me, how do Rolos work?"

Now, the joy about it is, I'll be doing a lot of the talking,

but you'll be throwing things in. That changes the show.

It's one of the joys of doing live stand up.

If you do a TV show and something goes weird or wrong,

they make you do it again.

Do another take of that, right. If you were doing a stage play,

you've got a script and you've got to stick to that.

This stuff, if something changes, or you say something weird,

or someone runs naked across the stage or whatever, right, you've got to go with it.

You've got to commit to it.

There are very few things in the arts in which you have to commit...

There are very few things in life you just have to absolutely go for.

One thing. One thing.

When you rent a car in a foreign country where they

drive on the other side of the road,

and you're fucked if you're taking any instruction from the kid

who gives you the keys,

cos you've been driving longer than he's been alive.

"So get into the car, Mary and let's go."

And the first road you drive on is a roundabout to a motorway

and you don't even know which way round the roundabout they drive...

But you're going to go for it. Let's get into gear.

Oh, Jesus, where's the gear stick? Why is the window going down?

What? What the f*ck is the gear stick doing here?

What are you doing here? Get off the roundabout.

Any turn, any turn. Which one is that one?

- Oh, Jesus, it's the airport, it's your man. Head down, head down.


You've just got to commit to it.

There's one event that sums up perfectly for me,

that kind of - boom, and here we go.

One event that occurred last November which some of you will

know about, because it occurred in a small Scottish town called Oban.

Right. Now.

Oban, you'll be familiar with here.

Oban, for those that are joining us that are not from Scotland -

beautiful little ferry/fisheries town.

You take the boat there to visit the Mull of Kintyre

and the Highlands and Islands.

There's a distillery, lovely part of the world. Beautiful community.

And last November,

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"Dara O Briain: Craic Dealer" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 20 Sep. 2020. <https://www.scripts.com/script/dara_o_briain%3A_craic_dealer_6310>.

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