Coyote Ugly

Why don't you, like,|ever realize the truth, Vince?

I ate nine pies and a meatball hero|in one hour. That's a record.

It wasn't nine pies.|It was eight.

You left two slices of mushroom|on the last tray.

- Violet?|- You guys, it was six pies. No hero.

I had to call the paramedics|to pump your stomach, and it was three and a half years ago.

When are you guys gonna talk|about something else?

When someone comes through|that door and breaks the record,

then we'll stop talkin'|about the subject.

Enjoy your pie, guys.

- It's the last one I'll ever serve.|- Aren't you forgetting something?

Quit it, Pete.|I'm not doin' that.

It's a tradition.|Sign the card.

I got it, folks.|I got the first autograph.

- Hey, Violet. All right!|- Violet's on her way to the wall.

That's 20 years|of girls leaving town.

That wall is jinxed.|I won't sit near that wall.

Let's hope you have better luck|than they did.

- Ladies and gentlemen.

As you all know, my best friend,|Violet Sanford,

has decided--

has decided to leave|South Amboy tomorrow...

and travel the 42 miles|to New York City.

So-- Okay, come on.|Bring her up here, girls.

- Come on, Violet.

Come on, Vi.|Come on, everyone.

Hey, Violet, come on.|Come up here.

- Come on, honey.|- You guys!

Now, I think it's only fair|that tonight, on her last night with us in Jersey,

she grace us|with a little tune.

No way!

At first I was afraid I was petrified

live without you by my side

thinking how you did me wrong

and I knew how to get along

No, not I

I will survive

I know how to love I know I'll be alive

I got all my love to give

I will survive

Look at this!

Four people killed last night|in New York.

No reason at all.

Police have no leads.

- Tragic.|- Dad, what're you doin?

I guess four out|of seven million ain't so bad.

Headlines should read,|"Millions Survive Night in New York."

Dad, stop. I get the point.|Here. Eatyour eggs.

They're not eggs. They're egg whites.|And I'd rather eat the carton.

You've already lost six pounds.|You're staying on this diet. No fast food. No sausage.

Oh, and I bought you some|of those Lean Cuisine meals, and I put 'em in the freezer.

- My mouth is watering already.|- And I lined your vitamins up on the counter.

- I don't take vitamins.|- You do now. Just take them.

Oh, and I put fresh batteries|in the TV remote and set the V.C.R. timer so--

Excuse me. Excuse me.|Am I missing something here?

I'm the parent. You're the child|running away to live by herself.

I should be tellin' you|how to live.

Fine. How should I live?

- Simple. Don't go.

I got that Irish Spring you like.|Oh. And Dad, what ever you do--

- Don't do the laundry.|- Don't do the laundry.

Just leave it by the dryer and I'll|do it when I come home every Sunday.

Ah, this is interesting.

They say the handrails|on the subway system could one day lead to an outbreak of plague.

Dad. Look.

You said I could be|whatever I wanna be.

I never said songwriter|in New York City. That's the exception.

You said anything,|and I believed you, so--

I'm not leavin' this house|without your support.

- That's Gloria. What's it gonna be?

Violet, I saw how hard it was|for your mother when she didn't make it.

But if she was here,|she'd tell me to shutup,

wish you luck|and give you a big hug.

I'm not gonna give you a big hug,|and I'm not gonna wish you luck, but...

I am gonna shut up, sit here|with my coffee and pretend to be mad.

Is that okay?

This is the last of it.

- Honey, are you okay with that?|- Yeah, I got it.

I got it. Wait.

Allright.|That's everything.

- Let's hit it.|- Good luck.

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