Cottage Country

Synopsis: Todd (Labine) wants everything to be just perfect at the family cottage where he plans to propose to Cammie (Akerman). But things go awry with the arrival of Todd's slacker brother Salinger (Petronijevic) and his free-spirited girlfriend Masha (Punch). When Todd accidentally dispatches his irksome sibling with an axe, Cammie is determined not to let murder stand in the way of their happiness.
Genre: Comedy, Crime, Horror
Director(s): Peter Wellington
  2 nominations.
91 min

- Hello.

- Hey, snuskebasse.

- Are you still at work?

- Yes, Shawn and Debbie made a mess.

And you save them as usual.

You work too hard, Todd.

- Do not to pack my bags.

- Of course not.

I mean it, Cammie.

Do not touch the bag.

I do not like the idea

you unpack it as a servant.

- We drive to the cabin as soon as possible.

- I can hardly wait.

The same here, Cammie.


- I love you.

- No, I love you.


16 hours later

We have lost a whole day. Your boss

can not treat you like this.

- We should have run six hours before.

- What should I have done.

If you do not say from

will never improve.

I know that. I could stand just not

a confrontation at the time.

I just thought:
"Get it over with,

and came out to the lake."

"Come down to the lake, look at the water,

and then it all washed away."

It deserves you. But you must do

something about it. We can make a plan.

Can we not talk

the work the rest of the trip?

Sorry, I...

I would only think

on two things this week: Cottage and you.

Nothing more.

I think it will be

the best trip to the cottage ever.

Just wait till we get there.


- Todd!

- Damn!

Who is it?


Let me see you.

You are an angel.

- I love you.

- No, I love you.

- What?

- It is Sal.

What? What's he doing here?

- It's not his turn.

- Booked you on the website?

I already made the website!

It's my turn.

Hello, Toddie.

- Good to see you. What are you doing here?

- I have booked the cottage all week.

- Cammie, taxes.

- Salinger.

- Mom said here was empty all week.

- She knows nothing. Check the page.

- I have booked the entire week.

- Well, the website. Pis. Sorry.

- Do not turn it on in here.

- I open the door.

Do not, Sal.


Can you carry the bags up, Masha.

Thank you.

It is God damn country.

He is almost done.

I'm sure.

- Breakfast is ready. Tea?

- Yes, a little bit.

- I thought it was over between them.

- She shows up occasionally.

Maybe it's not so bad that they

is here. We can be out on the lake.

- We can row out to the island.

- No. Not while they are here.

It is not intended,

they have to be part of this.

Toodles. Our time together.

It gives me chills,

they lurk around.

- I get them to leave.

- And everything will be perfect.

- You can rely on.

- You get them to leave?

And now...

What about having breakfast, Miss?

- Okay.

- It was John Wayne right there.

Masha learned the secret

behind the perfect caesar salad -

- On a small lortebar in Thailand

where there was kickboxing matches.

What is the secret then, Masha?

- What?

- Horseradish.


If it does not burn,

do it wrong.

That's what she said.

- That's what she said.

- How's the painting?

You know what. I do not paint anymore.

It is too insipid yuppie fools

which will have something to hang up -

- In their small,

arid occasions.

It is the 21st century.

The only real art... is virtual.

- Really?

- I get enough arts... a cool website and Masha

must complete the application forms.

- What is it about?

- Masha gathers strangers up.

So she gennempuler them

with a compressed air driven hammer f***.

- If you get arts funding for the kind of?

- Not to anyone. Come on.

- It sounds like porn.

- That's not porn. It is art.

It is ten billion times more genuine,

than what the hell you than doing.

- I can never remember. What are you doing?

- I'm working.

- I work 60-70 hours a week.

- Cool.

I fistfucker life

with a nuclear-powered f*** hammer -

60-70 hours per week.

Who is the fool now?

First fistfucker he lives,

and so he fistfucker me.

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    "Cottage Country" STANDS4 LLC, 2022. Web. 1 Jul 2022. <>.

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