Copenhagen

1

You want to grab it

and hold it back

It's okay

When it's you and me

Against the world

- Got a cigarette?

- I ain't got a cigarette.

She's f***ing stuck up.

She thinks she's better

than she is, you know?

Especially with her f***ing

British... ha ha... accent.

I mean, like...

Cigarettes?

And you know, if he'd just

manned the f*** up and cut...

cut her loose...

...we could've enjoyed

this trip, you know.

Like tonight, for example,

you know?

We could have helped out your...

What was her name?

Marie? Maria? You know...

We could've had a good time,

like the four of us.

What does it say?

Can't you read it?

It's Danish.

We're in Berlin.

We speak German here.

Don't you guys speak five

languages and all that sh*t?

My boyfriend knows some Danish.

We can ask him.

I think we should keep

your boyfriend out of this.

Like it's you and me

Against the world

F***!

Wait! Hon...

Why do you have to be

such an a**hole?

Look at this place.

We should be in a hostel with

dreadlocked Austrian girls.

I'm in the middle here, okay?

Jen?

She says that the three of us

aren't working together.

What? Seriously?

So I'm the f***ing problem now?

No, no, no. Look, I...

I appreciate your openness to

Jen coming in the first place,

but don't you want to do

this trip alone anyway?

Alone? Why the f***

would I want to do it alone?

If I wanted to do it alone,

I would've done it 10 years ago.

I would've stayed

in a hostel, not a hotel.

And I would've met

plenty of people.

And by people,

I mean f***ing hot girls.

But that wasn't the plan.

The plan was to do this

together.

You gotta put yourself

in my position.

What would you do?

- No.

- What do you mean, no?

No, I'm not putting myself

in your position

'cause I would never have

brought a girlfriend

on a guys' trip.

Why do you listen to her anyway?

I mean, you broke up with her

already.

No, we broke up last Christmas

for three days.

Do you remember Jason with Penny

and all that back-and-forth

back-and-forth sh*t

and they still got married?

How did that turn out?

You're comparing Jen and me

to Penny and anal beads?

It's not the beads.

It's what the beads represent.

Can I help you?

I need a map.

Look at the size of the bed.

I'm ready and waiting.

It's bouncy?

- That's sexy.

- Yeah!

That is really f***ing sexy.

I know it's sexy.

There's a bar next door.

I was gonna grab a beer.

You wanna come?

Go away!

You guys took long enough.

Jeremy's not coming.

So are you tracking down

your family tomorrow?

That's why we're here, isn't it?

I want to apologize.

I honestly thought

it would be okay,

me coming on this trip, but...

But what?

It was obviously a bad idea.

Yeah.

I agree.

This was a guys' trip.

You have no idea how lucky you

are to have Jeremy as a friend.

You think this is funny?

We have love.

We have each other.

I'm just worried because I think

you're gonna be

so f***ing alone.

- Shut up!

- Excuse me?

What the f***

do you want from me?

This was a mistake.

Sit.

Please.

There's something you and me

need to acknowledge.

And what's that?

The night you met Jeremy,

you wanted to f*** me first.

And then Prague?

Now, I know you were drunk,

but still...

You are the most pathetic guy

I have ever met.

Even now...

I bet you wouldn't mind

just a little quickie

in the bathroom.

All right.

Whoa!

All right!

Yeah!

Okay?

Just, let's make some noise.

- Like what?

- Just moan loud.

Yeah, that's right.

- I need you to moan loud.

- Yeah!

Yeah, that's right.

Louder, like this.

- Yeah!

- Yeah!

Come on, you can do it, that's it.

Yeah!

- All right.

- Okay. Okay!

Yeah!

Sh*t, yeah!

All right!

Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah!

Hey! What the f***?

We're going to London

to get married.

Jeremy proposed last night.

He wrote you a note.

It's all in there.

Where is he?

I'm sorry it couldn't work out.

Look, I wanna talk to him.

Just let us go.

You wanna get some breakfast?

I have to go to work.

Call in sick.

F***ing grammar, retard.

You dropped this.

You keep it.

Can you help me with this,

please?

- You speak Danish, right?

- Yeah.

Yeah, right.

What does this say?

F***!

- Sh*t. The address!

- Sorry!

No, no, read it.

What's the address?

- You didn't make a copy?

- Idiot!

What? English!

I said it was your fault.

No. The truth is

you suck at your job.

- This isn't even my job.

- Good!

Don't make a career out of it.

I'm not going to tell you

the address.

Really? You read it?

You didn't read it.

Forhbningsholms Alle,

number 49.

Wait. Can you write that down?

Where is it on the map?

It's here.

You're welcome.

Hi. Hey, can you...

Do you know where I am on this?

All right, which way is north?

Got it.

It's that way, right?

Stroger, Stroger, Stroger.

Stroger?

F*** off, man.

Cool hostel?

Yeah.

Do you know

where this address is?

I've been looking all day.

I'm not from here.

Sorry.

Right. Me neither.

Where you from?

Canada. You?

New York.

Me too.

But you just said

you're from Canada.

Isn't that what we're supposed

to tell people?

I think it's okay

to be American again.

- Okay.

- Shh.

So where in New York

are you from?

Jersey.

Jersey.

- What are you doing here?

- Um...

I have family here.

I'm looking for them.

What about you?

I'm here with a friend

doing like a tour thing.

So what should I do?

Where should I go?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes