Connie and Carla

Synopsis: After accidentally witnessing a mafia hit in the Windy City, gal pals Connie and Carla skip town for L.A., where they go way undercover as singers working the city's dinner theater circuit ... as drag queens. Now, it's not enough that they become big hits on the scene; things get extra-weird when Connie meets Jeff -- a guy she'd like to be a woman with.
Genre: Comedy, Crime, Music
Director(s): Michael Lembeck
Production: Universal Pictures
  1 win.
Rotten Tomatoes:
98 min

Hey, check it out.

Look at those two losers.

Hi, everyone. We're Connie.

And Carla.


Attention, please.

The yearbook committee

will meet today at 3.40 in the library.

Good crowd.

Connie, are you sure we should?

Don't forget the harmony

in the second verse, okay?


This is going to work, Carla.

We just have to stick to

my plan. Right. The plan.

We're gonna be huge.


All students registered

for the planetarium feld trip...

should now be on the bus.

Get off the stage.

Oklahoma where the wind comes

sweeping down the plain

And the waving wheat can sure

smell sweet They're freaks.

Where the wind comes

right behind the rain

Oklahoma every night

my honey lamb and I

We sit alone and talk

and watch a hawk

Making lazy circles in the sky


- 31-B.

- Jesus Christ


Do you think you're

What they say you are

Papa, can you hear me

Papa, are you near me

Papa, how I miss you

Kissing me

Good night


- Thank you. You've been a great crowd.

- All of you.


All alone in the moonlight

I can smile at the-

And the greatest thing

about that car show is...

you can sit in any car you want

for as long as you want.

Yeah, I remember that

from last year.

- Cut it out, Al.

- You know, Carla. Me and Al just got this new job.

- We're loading stuff in this warehouse. It's great.

- Oh, that's great!

- What's your problem?

- I'm trying to eat, okay?

What are you doing here anyway?

I told you we broke up.

- Again?

- Let's go, Carla.

Where you going?

Mikey, the second show.

Yeah, Mikey, the second show.

Have some respect.

Don't you realize we're in the

presence of the great waitresses?

- Al, shut it.

- No, you shut it, Connie.

You and that stupid show.

You're like sad, you know.

After all these years, just face the

fact, it's not gonna happen and give up.

- What?

- What's your problem?

What is wrong with you?

Why can't you just be normal?

Al, I only have one life.

I want it to be a happy one.

Let's get outta here.

Come on, Carla.

Carla, please? Let's go.

You're a dreamer, Connie.

Wake up.

I told you that layover from Madison

would bring people in.

Connie. Carla.

Oh, we're gonna be able

to pay you back soon, Frank.

Frank, we needed more wigs than we

thought, and we have to do some advertising.

Good show.


You girls are great!

- I gotta go see about a delivery.

- Thanks, Frank.

Hey, Frank.

Rudy's looking for you.

- Carla-

- Dinner theater will be so in again.

Yeah, Debbie Reynolds

defnitely knew what she was doing.

Debbie Reynolds? Darling. Darling.

Chins up, b*obs out!

It's showtime!

Oh. Actually,

the show's over. Sorry.

If you're flying through, come back in

a month when the show will be huge. Huge!

We're Connie.

And Carla.

- Do you like musicals?

Stop talking, strange women.

I can tell by your lovely accent you're

a visitor to this country, and welcome.

- Where is fat man?

- He has a gland problem.

- Ooh!

- Ooh!

Where's Frank?

Uh, he just left, Rudy.

- Where does he park?

- On the rooftop.

Tibor, let's go.

Nice to meet you, Connie. Carla.

We gotta warn Frank.

Let's go.

The shipment is short...


I didn't take anything, Rudy.

You were the only one

who handled the transport.

So now I have to kill ya.

Let's go get security.

Okay. Look.

You know, Frank, I'm always the one.

How long's this been going on?

- Look. Just in time.

- How long?

No! No!

Offcer, look. These guys

are big-time coke dealers.

You take me in, I'll tell you

anything you wanna know, okay?

I left the stuff back at the

Traveler's Lounge with some girls.

Rate this script:4.0 / 1 vote

Nia Vardalos

Antonia Eugenia "Nia" Vardalos is a Canadian-American actress, screenwriter, director, and producer of Greek descent. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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