Clown

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Hey, you guys, you can't

play in there, Jack.

It's dangerous, there's nails and stuff.

Should've dumped them all

of at Chuck E. Cheese

Well, that place is a nightmare.

I hate clowns.

Yeah, well, it's what he wanted.

He's seven.

Well, when I was seven,

I thought clowns were creepy.

Oh, you can tell that to the

clown when he gets here.

Okay, you need a drink.

No, I can't.

Why not?

Meg?

You're not?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

You can't say anything to Kent, okay?

It's a total surprise.

Huh?

What surprise?

Hey, Dad.

He is... he is coming isn't he?

Yes, he's just running a little late.

Just checking.

Uh, Denise, pour me a

beer there will ya?

Hello?

Are you kidding?

Is there somebody else

you could sent?

Yes, Sir.

Oh no, it's no problem at all.

Oh, it's my pleasure.

Okay, bye.

Okay. I'm coming, I'm coming.

Hey, honey.

I'm headed out the door.

Is Jack excited?

Yeah, go ahead.

The Party Emporium

people screwed up, and...

there's no clown coming.

I thought you had a backup.

Who double-books a clown?

Listen, just...just hurry up

and get home, okay babe?

Kent?

Okay, listen, it's... everything is

gonna be fine. I'll be home soon.

Hello?

Hey everybody.

Where's daddy?

He's gonna miss the clown.

Listen...

It seems like there was a little

bit of a goof-up, all right?

Ladies and gentlemen, may I

have your attention, please?

He's here!

Gather around, one and all,

for the wacky...

The Wonderful, Dummo,

the clown.

Let's get this party started, huh?

Where is the number one

birthday boy, huh?

We give it up for Jack.

Let's make this

the best birthday ever.

Okay, Jack.

I've gotta go back to the circus,

time for bed.

I know it's you dad.

No, my name is Dummo.

I hear your dad is a

pretty great guy though.

Go, go, go, go!

Oh, God.

I forgot I was a clown.

You were perfect.

Jack loved it.

Where did you find that thing?

Where's the zipper.

It slipped right on.

I have big news for you.

Oh yeah.

Didn't know it was my birthday.

What?

This might be just all to weird

Come on!

Make a little...

make a little clown baby.

- Huh?

- Yeah.

You can go watch TV.

I'm gonna go take a shower first.

You take that thing off,

I'll give you your present.

Kent.

There better not be clown

marks on the couch, sweety

Yes, still a clown.

What time is it?

I think this wig is stuck.

Yeah, you shouldn't have slept in it maybe

Hey guess what.

The clown is driving

you to school today.

- Cool!

- Yeah, cool!

- No, wait, honey, I have a crew...

- You gotta hurry 'cause Jack's late for school.

- I have a crew waiting for me.

I have to get changed.

Love you.

Love you.

Hurry up and eat, come on.

- Dad, hurry, I'm gonna be late.

- Coming.

- Bye.

- Bye.

Jack, your lunch.

Jack, your lunch.

Thanks, Dummo.

Hey guys, sorry I'm late.

It's uh... It's just tearing the

carpet out on the first floor.

They won't talk about the hard wood.

Who are you?

I'm Kent, the realtor.

I talked... to Miguel. I'm sorry,

are you Miguel?

Why are you dressed like a clown?

You guys have kids?

Aah! F***!

F***! F***! F***!

Stupid f***ing clown.

Can I use this?

What are you doing in there?

You need some help?

No, no, no, no, no. I got it.

It's a... it's looking great by the way.

This is a bad idea.

Oh, Dad.

What are you doing?

I wanted to surprise to

Jack with a swing set.

You scared the crap out of me.

Well, I wanted to surprise you too.

Dad, Kent was gonna do this.

Yeah, well. Uh...

I'm just trying to help.

Yeah, right. It's freezing.

Let's go inside, I'm making dinner.

Damn instructions are in Chinese.

Hey babe, you just missed Dad.

I thought we were having

family dinner, but...

Jack, just went down. So if wanna go

upstairs you can probably say goodnight.

Shadow, lie down.

You went to work like that?

You don't understand.

I, uh..., I can't get if off.

Why not?

Because I can't.

I've-I broke a handsaw

I cut my wrist open.

And-and I really...

really, really have to pee.

Okay, okay, okay babe.

Kent, just calm down.

Sweetheart, I physically can not get if off.

I've been trying all day.

Okay, so... so it's-it's stuck.

It's suffocating me.

I-I'm serious. This is...

- All right.

- Ow! Ow!

It's not. It doesn't,

it's not gonna come off.

Why-Why are you laughing at me?

So dumb! Now I know why

they call you Dummo.

All right.

Here we go.

Relax, okay?

This is what I do.

And if you're really good

I'll get you a lollipop.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- 1....

- Ow, Ow.

- 2...

- Ow!

O-okay, okay. Okay.

All right.

Alright, I'm just gonna do this.

Are you serious?

Like a bandage, okay?

1....

2...

3!

Shadow, bad dog!

Sweety, what did you do to yourself?

Did you dye your hair?

It's a wig.

No, it's not.

Did you dye and perm your hair?

- I didn't dye my hair. What the...

- Daddy.

Oh, Jack, sweety.

Let's get you to bed, all right, honey?

- C'mon

- What's Shadow eating?

Daddy's okay.

You're just gonna have to

let the adhesive dissolve.

You definitely don't wanna

take any more skin off.

Just take some warm showers.

There wasn't any adhesive,

I'm not an idiot.

Maybe someone is playing a prank on you.

Who would do that?

What happened to your wrist?

Oh, I, uh...

I cut myself.

By accident.

Mr. McCoy, If you need to speak with someone,

we have counselors that can help you.

Funny, uh, no.

You don't understand!

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