Cinderella: Once Upon A Time... In The West


( crickets chirping )

( hawk squawking )

( distant howling )

( birds twittering )

( loud squawking )

( distant howling )

( squawking )

( hawk squawks )

Our beloved ancestors

had given us a beautiful home,

a place of amazing

naturaI wonders.

The rocks, the sand,

the cactus.

( chuckles )

Nothing was better.

And then one day,

Felicity arrived here.

And she built Felicity City.

At first glance,

it's a town like most others--

its sheriff constantly

on the lookout for evildoers,

his senses like a puma.

( bell tolling )

And like all respectable towns,

FeIicity City

has its very own church.

Except here in this town,

if you see folks hurrying around

earIy Sunday morning...

it's because they are

on their way

to give their respects

to Felicity.

You see, my friends, it's not called

FeIicity City for nothing.

Heh! What is this,

some kind of jug?

No, not at all.

Very ancient, Ming Dynasty.

Very expensive.

Very ancient?

You gotta be kiddin' me.

After aII I've done for you,

you come here with an old jug?

You know, I think

l'm going to take a pass

on the oId jug,

if you don't mind.

Ming Dynasty.

Very expensive. Very ancient.

l think this idiot

actually believes it.

He's so darn cute

when he says "Ming Dynasty."

So true.

( laughs )

Yeah! Ha!

He's cute, all right.

Next time don't bring me no jug.

Get out.

- Who's next?

- Aha.

Ha ha, my darling Felicity.

( chuckIes )

( rattling )

Personally, l would have preferred

Iiving on the prairie

like my ancestors. But...

- ( coins rattIing )

- ...l made a promise long ago

that has kept me

tied to this place--

a promise

to watch over someone.

- ( slaps )

- Ugh!

- ( thumps )

- Uhh!


Let go of poor Bob McDonagan

this instant.

- What do you think you're doing?

- Sorry, but l had no choice.

These two had to learn to remove

their hats when seeing a lady

and not to spit.

Oh, no, no, no, don't you

look at me like that, Cinderella.

( chuckles )

You're straying down a crooked path,

- so stop your grinning.

- ( ostrich grunts )

( grunts )

lt's incredible.

There's not a single guy

in this miserabIe town

who demonstrates

the least bit of chivalry.


Okay, so we're not in Mrs. Blah Blah's

lofty circle or anything,

but who cares? l mean, really,

can't they see l'm a girl?

I was just sitting there thinking

that if l answered her question,

she wouId most sureIy

punch me right in the nose,

when suddenIy, something

completely unexpected happened

that would finally allow me

to keep my promise.

A teIegram!

An actual telegram !

( panting )

- lt's for your mother.

- Stepmother.

Oh, that's right. I'm sorry.

Would you mind bringing it to her?

- l mean, l don't dare.

- ( spits )

You see, l have no gift

to bring her.

- ( sighs )

- Dogs:
And with this axe,

chopping very hard for--

- for your grace and beauty--

- Yeah.

- --we makes--

- Uh, make-- this lovely beaver.

( girl laughing )

Well, it's something, l suppose.

Very pretty.

But I'm not about to give

my daughters' hands to just anyone.

You two are poor,

and this ain't the lottery.

- Oh, yeah, but--

- Felicity:

l ain't bartering my little angels

for a worthIess piece of wood.

- Right, darIings?

- Yeah, that's right, fellas.

l guess you ain't really

suited for us.

Yeah, that's too bad, boys.

( laughs )

Better luck to you next time.

( dog moans )

So that's it, huh?

A town of ingrates.

l've taken

everything from them

and now they've got

nothing left to give.

What the heck am l going

to do now for fun?

- l'm exhausted.

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