Chronically Metropolitan

Synopsis: Full of wry wit, Chronically Metropolitan, is a cynical family drama about a young writer, Fenton, who is forced home to help the family cope when his larger than life father, Christopher, gets into a car accident with a truck full of crabs.
Genre: Comedy, Drama
90 min


"I whispered, 'I'm too young, '

"And then 'I am old enough.'

"Wherefore I threw a brown penny

to find out if I might love."

Who is that?

That is Yeats.

Who the f*** is Yeats?

Oh, just a minor Irish poet.

Whoever the f*** that is.

Your ignorance is so infectious.

Oh, wait a minute.

Oh, my dear Lord.

Oh, Hannah, my love, well done.

Keep going.

I want to hear the rest of it.

"Love is the wicked thing."

"There is no one wise

enough to find it out.

"For he would be

thinking of love

"Till the stars had

run from the sky."


Hot as balls.

Here, you want some of this?

Well, I'll try anything twice.

Here you go.

Keep the change.

Thank you, sir.


Fenton Dillane, my man!

Irving, how are you?


How's the family?

Baby Lou?


Baby Lou ain't a baby no more.

She's a three-year-old

wrecking ball.

That Cali sun got you soft.

It's not that sunny in San Francisco.


Don't tell me

you're a Nets fan now.

Come on, man, Knicks for life.

I gotta give Phil

some time to build.

Man, it's really great

seeing you.

Hey, man, good seeing you, too.

Don't be away so long, okay?

I got it from here.

You sure?



It's very pungent.

That means it's good.

That'll be the usual.

How much do you have?

How much you need?

Week's worth?


All right.


This is a surprise.

Um... Wasn't expecting...

You're home!

Yeah, new me.

What's up, buddy?


Thank you, John.

Didn't think I wanted to

be home for the latest?

I wasn't, uh, sure.

Oh, shoot.

The sea bass.

Um, if someone's near the

oven, would you shut it off?

What's good, man?

Things good in San Fran?

I haven't seen you

in what, a year?

Yeah, I guess.


Were you just selling

my mom weed?

Oh, strictly at cost.

She smokes weed?

Oh, yeah.

No. Not a lot.


Uh, listen, The Georgian's having

people over tomorrow night.

Good ol' Georgian party.


Fenton, come

say hi to your sister.

And there's someone

I want you to meet.

Be right there.

Well, well, well.


Welcome home, brother.

Fenton, this is my friend Ahmed.

Nice to meet you.

Uh, okay.Hello.

Layla, would you be a dear and,

um, open another bottle of wine?

Mmm-mmm. Oh, yeah.

I'm on it.

Layla, let me give you

a hand with that.

I can...

What is going on?


I mean, who is he?

He's a friend of Mom's.

They met at a Studies of the

Far East Group at the Met.

And so, what?

They go to museums,

they look at ceramics

from the Khyber Pass?

If his presence is

so offensive to you,

just give notice the next

time you feel like visiting.

Wow. Are they, like...


Jesus, Layla.

I hope so.

But Mom's not Dad,

so I wouldn't count on it.

It's big of you

to come home for this.

Back for what?

You tell me.

What, back for Dad?

I wrote something I'm not

sure I wanna publish.

What's going on, Fenton?

It doesn't work like that.

You don't get to leave

the way you did,

and then come back and expect

everything to be okay.

Because you just left,

for a long time!

Yeah, you would too, if every New

York a**hole with a blog or a column

was comparing you to bags of

douche or Alec f***ing Baldwin.

They were just reacting

to the what, Fenton.

Not the who.


If you ever leave

like that again,

I'm gonna kill you.

Seriously, I'm gonna kill you.


Never again.


Layla, what are you,

uh, studying in college?

Um, uh...

Lots of stuff.

It's really just a

four-year delay to my unemployment.

Layla, are you still dating that

guy with the, uh, red hair?

What was his name? Dick?

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    "Chronically Metropolitan" STANDS4 LLC, 2022. Web. 25 Jan. 2022. <>.

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