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Ladies and gentlemen...
live from the world-famous Apollo Theater...
in Harlem, New York.
Are you ready?
There's Brooklyn in the house.
Well, l'm from Brooklyn.
Shit, look at this.
White people are up top tonight.
You know, l was just in my hotel,
and l got in the elevator, right?
l'm getting in the elevator...
try to get on with me...
and l just dove off.
l said, ''Y'all ain't killing me!''
l am running for the hills.
shooting up the school?
They don't even wait till 3:00, either.
Killing people in the morning.
That ain't right.
The Trenchcoat Mafia.
''No one will play with us.
''We have no friends.
We're the Trenchcoat Mafia.''
Hey, l saw the yearbook pictures.
lt was six of them.
l didn't have six friends in high school.
l don't got six friends now.
Shit, that's three-on-three with a half court.
Come up to a school. Talk to the kids.''
l'm like, ''F*ck the kids!
''Do you got a vest?
Everybody wants to know
what the kids was listening to.
Or what kind of movies was they watching?
Who gives a f*ck what they was watching?
Whatever happened to crazy?
What happened to crazy?
What, you can't be crazy no more?
Did we eliminate ''crazy''
from the dictionary?
F*ck the records. F*ck the movies. Crazy!
When l was a kid, they used to separate
the crazy kids from everybody.
When l was a kid, the crazy kids
went to school in a little-ass bus.
They had a class at the end of the school...
and they used to get out of school at 2:30.
Just in case they went crazy...
And we was all safe.
We was all safe.
Damn, the world's coming to an end.
''l want to go to a black school
where it's safe.''
That's right, man.
got to get rid of the guns.
F*ck that. l like guns.
You got a gun, you don't have to work out.
l ain't working out. l ain't jogging.
You got pecs, l got Tecs.
F*ck that shit.
You don't need no gun control.
You know what you need?
We need some bullet control.
Man, we need to control the bullets,
$5,000 for a bullet. You know why?
there'd be no more innocent bystanders.
That'd be it.
be like, ''Damn, he must have did something.
''Shit, they put $50,000 worth of bullets
in his ass.''
''Man, l would blow your f*cking head off,
''and you're a dead man.
''You better hope
l can't get no bullets on layaway.''
So even if you get shot by a stray bullet...
you won't have to go to no doctor
to get it taken out.
Whoever shot you
''l believe you got my property.''
That's right, man.
as f*cking crazy.
Everybody wants to be mad at the kids
for shooting up the school.
What about the parents? The parents.
Their damn parents need to go to jail
for some of this f*cking shit, man.
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"Chris Rock: Bigger & Blacker" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 20 Oct. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/chris_rock%3A_bigger_%252526_blacker_5505>.