Chaplin

---

Come on, Charlie. Stop messing

about. We have to get down to it.

I just hope our friendship survives.

George, don't be so melodramatic.

It's your autobiography, Charlie.

And as your editor...

...I have to tell you

that parts of the manuscript...

...are vague, at best.

For instance, your mother.

When did she first lose control?

We need to know those facts.

It's hard to say.

She could be so wonderful.

On her good days.

You are my honey, honeysuckle.

I'd like to sip the honey

from those red lips.

I love you dearly.

And I want you to love me.

You are...

You are...

Come on, love!

Get on with it!

Get off, you silly cow!

Come on, Mum!

We want a refund!

Come on!

Get off!

Off! Quick, Lady, off!

Come on. Cut it out!

Off!

You're out of it. Finished.

Ladies and gentlemen!

We crave your special attention!

Play the game!

Play the game! Come on, lads!

Please, sir!

Get off the bloody stage!

Isn't he cute?

I know it. I can do the song.

Let him do it!

Let him try!

Give the boy a chance!

What's your name?

- Charles.

Charles what?

- Charles Chaplin.

At very short notice

and great expense...

...for your special pleasure

we present...

...Master Charles Chaplin.

Half a mo!

Ready?

You are my honey, honeysuckle.

I am your bee.

I'd like to sip...

...the honey sweet from those lips...

...you see.

I love you dearly, dearly.

And I want you to love me.

You are my honey.

Honeysuckle.

And I am your bee.

Your mother never sang again?

No. Never.

Mrs. Chaplin, if I don't get me rent

I'll report you!

Them two little mites ain't fed proper!

If I don't get me rent, I'll report you!

You're two months behind!

The rent? Rent?

What on earth is that?

Shut up, you ghastly woman!

You tell her!

Sorry it's only fish heads again.

I'll get you plum cake one day.

When my ship comes in.

Mum? Someone's coming!

Mrs. Chaplin?

Are these your children?

Not the workhouse.

It's for their own good.

Stop! Come back here!

Come here!

Come here!

We've got him! Quick!

Syd!

Get off!

Put me down! Let me go!

You were beaten?

With a cane thick as a man's thumb.

And Syd?

Send to a training ship.

Then to sea.

You omit how long you were in

the workhouse, or how you got out.

That's a mistake. I was there a year.

My mother started

taking in piecework.

Sewing gloves.

While you were growing up

there was just the two of you.

Your father?

- What about him?

He died during that period.

You don't write much about him.

I don't know much. He left

sang on stage and died of drink.

What else should I say?

This is you're book we're discussing.

It's your life. It's up to you.

How do, old scout!

How do, old scout! What's up Rummy?

All the police gone?

Don't give me your lip.

All right, clear off! Now!

Didn't mean no harm.

Hey, Lil.

Charlie? Hello love.

Your mum's gone mad again!

Get off!

Thank God you got here, Charlie!

I got you that plum cake

just like I said.

Thanks, Mum.

Make your mark, if you can't sign.

The doctor said to bring her here.

She'll be better off.

What about you?

- I'll be fine.

What do you mean, "fine"?

I'll stay with me aunt.

Watch your feet, mister!

Shoes cost money!

Sometimes she thinks

the floor is a river.

We won't get wet.

Yes, we'll do our best.

You should say good-bye now.

Wasn't thinking.

Mum, I love you so much.

I know, I know.

If you had given me a cup of tea

I'd be fine.

They'll take better care of you.

One cup! You must have

wanted to get rid of me bad.

I didn't. I really didn't.

Come along, dear.

- You're a lying little runt.

You'll end up like your father.

Charlie? Don't do this to me.

I love you. Don't let them

take me away from you!

Don't let them do this to me!

Don't let them do this to me, Charlie!

Don't let them take me away

from you, Charlie!

Dressed in style

with your father's old green tie on.

I wouldn't give you tuppence

for your old watch chain.

Old iron, old iron.

Was you scared when you first

met this Karno geezer?

Everyone's scared.

And it's Mr. Karno, remember.

To be in vaudeville, you work

for him, or you work for nobody.

If you get this job

and with what I'm bringing in...

...we can move Mom

somewhere better.

Don't let me down.

- I'll be great.

You don't have to be great.

Just shut up and be funny.

Hello, Mr. Karno.

Hello, Sydney. Come on over.

We've got something to eat.

Now then. What about

this young brother of yours?

He's been legit up to now, Mr. Karno.

But he sings and he dances a treat.

I've got song and dance men

like you coming out of my ears.

Well, his slapstick is fantastic.

He's got the knack.

Watch him.

He can do more, you know.

More stuff.

I hope so.

Bloody hell!

You okay?

Need the job that bad?

Yes, sir.

Comedy is knowing who you are

and where you come from.

It has to be perfection.

Can I come out now?

You may.

It's been a great evening so far

hasn't it?

I promise, you're going to love

the next act.

Everybody loves elephants.

And here on our stage

you will see twenty of the largest...

...most graceful specimens.

These are straight from the jungle.

Do you mind, sir?

I'm introducing

our dancing elephants.

Please do take your seat, sir.

Sit down, sir!

Take your feet down, sir!

Show a little respect!

Now ladies and gentlemen...

...a very big round of applause

for our next act!

Captain Boynton and his

Pulchritudinous Pachyderms!

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