Cemetery Junction

Synopsis: It's 1973 in Cemetery Junction, a Reading suburb. Three working class lads, best friends, are coming of age. Freddie wants to rise above his station, taking a job selling life insurance, wearing a suit and tie. Snork works at the railway station and wants a girlfriend some day. Bruce talks of leaving but seems on track to work at a factory, drink and fight, and become like his dad, in front of the telly with beer on hand; and he's trying the patience of the police officer who gets him out of jams. Freddie's job leads the lads toward a few small changes. He runs across a childhood friend, Julie, his boss's daughter who's engaged to the firm's top seller. Can the lads break out?
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Production: Sony Pictures
  1 nomination.
Rotten Tomatoes:
95 min


Shut that down a second,

will you, Dave?

Bob, come round here for a bit.

Jim, put it over here with me.

-Fredrick Taylor. Freddie Taylor.

-Yes, sir.


to Vigilant Life Assurance.

I see that you grew up

in Cemetery Junction.

Went to Stonemead, the worst school

in the south of England.

Mr. Kendrick will see you.

They expect you to leave at 14

with no qualifications...

...and go directly

to the scrapheap of life.

-Does this sound about right?

-I suppose so, sir.

Well, I know so because I grew up

in Cemetery Junction...

...and I went to that school.

I knew that.

It's one of the reasons

I wanted to work for you.

Mike Ramsay is gonna be supervising.

You got anything to add, Mike?

When selling life assurance, you want

the stench of death in their nostrils.

Talking to the husband,

you want the missus thinking:

"Crumbs, chief. What's my life

gonna be like when he pegs it?"

Men work, women worry.

That's what you rely on.

Don't look at Mr. Kendrick.

He didn't hear that, and I didn't say it.

Do you understand?

-Yes, sir.


Over to you, sir.

You're a bit of an inspiration to me.

I know that you got out

of the old neighborhood.

I know that you've got a Rolls-Royce

parked in your own parking space.

And I know that you own a mansion

worth 40,000 pounds.

Forty-two thousand pounds.

That's what I want, sir.

I don't want to end up like my dad.

Coming home aching, with grease on

my hands and nothing to show for it.


Hello. Hi. I'm Freddie Taylor.

Hello. Hello, I'm Freddie Taylor.

Mr. F. Taylor from

the Vigilant Life Assurance Company.

Good day to you.

Can I come in? Thanks.

What? This? Yeah.

Yeah, it's real leather, yeah.

I've just got some

very important documents in here.

Can I sit down? Thanks.

Oh, I love your curtains. They're so--

-Hold him, hold him.

-Oh, my God.

I'm not even breathing. I'm not--

That is disgusting.

Not allowed to fart on him

now he doesn't work in a factory.

-What are you listening to?

-Vaughan Williams.

Had that suit on five minutes,

already a poof.

For listening to classical music?

-That is the test for queerness.

-That is the test.

I'm trying to better myself.

I'm trying to educate myself.

Get that off. That's real leather.

Oh, hello.

Freddie, stop listening to music

made by poofs.

Stick on some Elton John.


-Evening. How are you?

-All right.

-How's your dad?

-He's all right.

Caught him at home watching Noddy.

It's another big night.

Why's Noddy got a hat

with a bell on it?

-Go on.

-Because he's a c*nt.

It's five past 7.

Here, mate. Watch out, watch out.

-You seen Snork's tattoo?


Oh, you're gonna love this.

Show him.

Now, must point out

you designed it yourself.

Yeah. Drew it myself.

Had it done down on Elgar Road.

-Cost him two weeks' wages.

-Bloody hell.

-All right, all right, you queers.


What the f*** is that?

Well, it's a beautiful lady vampire

looking out of a window.

I'm Bruce, that's Freddie,

that's Snork.

-It's Paul.

-Why Snork?

Those glasses, thought they made him

look like Elton John.

I thought he looked like Snork

out of Banana Splits.

Remember the fat one

with the glasses and the trunk?

Trunk, sure. Call me Snork

because I got a nose for muff.

Every time. Every time.

Hey, how you doing?

-You look great.

-Oh, hey.


-Wait, I'll turn around.

-Oh, Jesus, there's a back to it as well.

-Who's that out on the street?

-It's me.

-What, you're naked too?

-I'm gonna go and give her one.

-Why such a big knob?

-Well, I've got a hard-on.

-Why have you already got a hard-on?

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Ricky Gervais

Ricky Dene Gervais (; born 25 June 1961) is an English stand-up comedian, actor, writer, producer, director, and singer. Gervais worked initially in the music industry, attempting a career as a pop star in the 1980s as the singer of the new wave act Seona Dancing and working as the manager of the then-unknown band Suede before turning to comedy. Gervais appeared on The 11 O'Clock Show on Channel 4 between 1998 and 2000. In 2000, he was given a Channel 4 talk show, Meet Ricky Gervais, and then achieved greater mainstream fame a year later with his BBC television series The Office. It was followed by Extras in 2005. He co-wrote and co-directed both series with Stephen Merchant. In addition to writing and directing the shows, he played the lead roles of David Brent in The Office and Andy Millman in Extras. He reprised his role as Brent in the comedy film Life on the Road. Gervais began his stand-up career in the late 1990s. He has performed five multi-national stand-up comedy tours and wrote the Flanimals book series. Gervais, Merchant and Karl Pilkington created the podcast, The Ricky Gervais Show, which has spawned various spin-offs starring Pilkington and produced by Gervais and Merchant.He has also starred in the Hollywood films Ghost Town, and Muppets Most Wanted, and wrote, directed and starred in The Invention of Lying and the Netflix released Special Correspondents. He hosted the Golden Globe Awards in 2010, 2011, 2012 and 2016, and appears on the game show Child Support. Gervais has won seven BAFTA Awards, five British Comedy Awards, two Emmy Awards, three Golden Globe Awards and the 2006 Rose d'Or, as well as a Screen Actors Guild Award nomination. In a 2004 poll for the BBC, he was named the third most influential person in British culture. In 2007, he was voted the 11th greatest stand-up comic on Channel 4's 100 Greatest Stand-Ups and again in the updated 2010 list as the 3rd greatest stand-up comic. In 2010, he was named on the Time 100 list of the world's most influential people. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Cemetery Junction" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Web. 7 Jun 2023. <https://www.scripts.com/script/cemetery_junction_5243>.

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