Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy

Synopsis: Short skits based on the cut away gags from the show Family Guy.
2 min

-Hey, how's it going?

-(GASPS) Oh, my God. Did you just talk?

-l did.

-Are you one of those frogs

that'll turn into a prince if I kiss you?

Why don't you kiss me

and see for yourself?

You're still a frog.

Yeah, you also have to

reach one hand under me

and lightly touch

the underside of my penis.


-You have to reach one hand under...

No, no, no. I know what you said,

but I've just never heard that part.

-Well, you have now.

-So I just

-lightly touch...

-The underside of my penis, yeah.

Oh. Okay.

-Nothing's happening.

-What do you mean?

-You're not turning into a prince.

-I'm not a prince.

-But you told me you were.

-l did not.

-Yes, you did.

-l did not.

You said I was,

and I just didn't bother to correct you.

So, what are you?

(LAUGHING) I'm just a frog

looking to get some wood, man,

and mission accomplished.

Thank you very much.

-You're a sick pervert.

-Yeah, well, I'm the one with the boner,

-so jackpot for me. You lose.

-You're a bastard.

Well, take a hike then.

-Hey, there.

-(GASPS) A frog prince.

I'm supposed to kiss you, right?

No, actually, you're supposed

to take a dump on my back.

Oh, Tootsie, no. What are you doing?

You think you're fooling them

with that wig, but they're gonna find out.

They're gonna find out, and then what?

Then the sh*t hits the fan, doesn't it?

You're not using your brain.

Oh, Kermit, what are you doing?

You can't get to Hollywood

in that old Studebaker.

Besides, you're a puppet. They're not

going to listen to a puppet in Hollywood.

Oh, don't stop

and pick up those other puppets,

there's no room for them in the car.

You're not using your brain.

Oh, Bender, what are you doing?

Don't talk back to the principal.

He's just gonna make you come back

next Saturday.

Just keep your mouth... You did it!

You talked back to him.

Now you're gonna get more detention...

You did it again.

You got another. What's wrong with you?

That's another!

Stop it! You got one more!

You stupid bastard.

You're not using your brain.

Oh, Marty, what are you doing?

Don't be hanging around that old man.

His crazy inventions are just

gonna get you into trouble...

Don't get in the DeLorean.

He just told you it's a time machine.

Now you're gonna go back to the '50s

and f*** up your parents' lives.

And you'd know that,

if you were using your brain,

but you're not, are you?

You're not using your brain.



What's that you're reading?

I'm just reading this L.A. Times piece

on campaign reform.


-Where are you flying to?


-You live there?

-Yeah, I was just here for the holidays,

-and now I'm heading back home.

-Cool. What do you do there?

Look, I don't mean to be rude, but I really

would kind of just like to read this article.

-No, sure. Yeah. No, that's...

-I'm just not much of a talker.

Yeah, no...

I was just asking what you do for a living.

I peel bananas with my feet,

I pick bugs off my friends' backs,

-and that's pretty much it.

-l bet that's really interesting.

-No, not really.

-So, if you're ever in town again,

would you, maybe, want to go get a

drink with me or something? See a movie?

Well, I don't really know

when that would be.

I don't get to the States that often.



Well, would you want

to have sex with me now, then?

Now you're talking.


-That was awesome.

-l know.

-l mean, really.

-You were so giving.

-Oh, well.

-So unselfish.

-You make it easy.

-I'm blushing.

(CHUCKLES) Really? I don't see it.

No, it's only on my balls.

I blush with my balls.


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Seth Macfarlane

creator of family guy, american dad and the cleveland show. more…

All Seth Macfarlane scripts | Seth Macfarlane Scripts

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 26 Sep. 2021. <>.

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