Carry on Doctor

Synopsis: The popular Dr Kilmore is sacked after being discovered in a compromising position on the roof of the nurses' home. The patients are determined not to lose him, and so take on the might of the "cutting" Dr Tinkle and the overpowering Matron.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Gerald Thomas
Production: J. Arthur Rank Productions
 
IMDB:
6.5
PG
Year:
1967
94 min
8 Views

Dear friends!

It's thinking. Think it!

It's all in here.

The triumph of mind over matter.

What is mind? No matter.

What is matter? Never mind.

It's thinking. It's thinking that counts.

That's the secret,

your way to health and to happiness.

Now, my friends,

I want you to look at this woman.

You won't believe this,

but for many years this poor creature

has suffered from loss of hearing,

or, in technical terms,

Mutt and Jeffness.

Medicine could do nothing for her.

The doctors gave her up.

That's right, dear, isn't it?

That's right, dear. Chloe!

They gave you up!

Yes.

It's not surprising.

- But...

- For years I had suffered from loss of hearing.

The doctors could do nothing for me.

I did not know which way to turn.

That's right, dear, yes.

Till one day, I had the good fortune

to meet Mr Bigger.

It was he who taught me the power of thought.

He showed me

that the mind was stronger than the body.

That is enough!

And now...

while my assistant passes amongst you

with the collection box...

Purely travelling expenses, of course.

No cheques, please. Just notes.

I will deliver my final message.

You will be amazed!

Look at me. I don't need doctors,

I don't need medicine,

and nor will you

if you'll just think:

"Nothing.

Nothing can happen to me. "

And believe me,

nothing will.

Oh!

Hurts, does it, sir?

Oh, no,

I'm just doing this to while away the journey.

Oh, no!

Oh!

Argh! Urgh!

Blimey, he's in a hurry!

Come on.

Just a quick one while Sister's out of the ward.

No, Mr Roper.

Dr Tinkle says it's not good for you.

- But I've been smoking for years.

- No!

- Well, give us a kiss, then.

- Certainly not!

That's even worse for you.

- What am I going to do, then?

- You can take your medicine.

I bet you can too.

Not again.

I've never known a bloke go as much as you.

You're just jealous cos you can't.

Fosdick Ward, Nurse Clarke. Bed three.

- Yes, Sister.

- Wait a minute, wait a minute!

Aren't I going to see a doctor?

All in good time, Mr Bigger. We must get

our clothes off and get into bed first, mustn't we?

We?

Madam, I have an affliction!

That will do, Nurse.

Sister's coming!

Evening, Sister.

All right. Onto the bed, please, Mr Bigger.

I can't. Every movement is agony!

Come along, come along.

We mustn't be a baby, must we?

We must be a big, brave boy.

How can I be a big, brave boy?

I've got a painsy-wainsy in my botty-wotty!

Come along, now.

Well... Mind. Will you...

Oh! Don't...

Leave it alone, I'll do it myself!

There. More comfortable?

No.

Oi, there's something moving about under my...

Oh! It's trying to...

He's on my hand, Sister.

Oh, thank goodness for that.

I thought I was being got at by something.

I'll try and find Matron. Get his things off, Nurse.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute! I don't want my things off!

Don't get Matron. I'm not having my...

What are you doing that for?

Look, I'm not being exposed by you.

So now, then.

Mr Biddle.

Ah, evening, Matron.

What are you doing out of your ward, Mr Biddle?

I've just been to the whatnot.

I'm allowed to go myself now. Sister said so.

That's right, Matron, but within reason.

This is the third time in an hour.

Sorry.

I didn't know anybody was keeping the score.

I think we'd better have a look

at Mr Biddle's bladder, Sister.

Oh, no, it wasn't that. It was the other.

I wanted to go, so I went,

but... I couldn't.

Oh, I see. Then we must try and make it easier

for you, Mr Biddle.

Double the dose in future, Sister.

Oh, no!

Back to your ward. Hurry along.

Oh! You might have cut your nails.

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Talbot Rothwell

Talbot Nelson Conn Rothwell, OBE (12 November 1916 – 28 February 1981) was an English screenwriter. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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"Carry on Doctor" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 23 Sep. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/carry_on_doctor_5118>.

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